Son in psychiatric hospital

[WhiteCatty]

I dropped my son (19) in a psychiatric hospital this morning, it was literally last chance saloon for us. I feel happy that he’s safe & getting the care he needs, stressed because he’s there voluntarily & may not go the distance to get the support he needs. But also sat here feeling like I’ve failed him because it came to this!

He will be looked after. People don't get admitted to a mental health bed if things aren't quite extreme. If he decides to leave and there's an immediate risk, the staff will be able to detain him.

I he things gets better soon.

You absolutely have not failed him. He's unwell.

In no way have you failed him - you’d fail him if you weren't supporting him in getting help/treatment etc x It sounds like he’s in the right place and hopefully he’ll stay there, but it’s not easy x
Go easy on yourself and take a breath. Sincerely hope he’s soon on the road to recovery and sending you a virtual hug too 💐❤️

Hi OP, very sorry to hear about your son. I hope he gets the support he needs, and you can get a bit of R&R while he's being cared for by people who know what they're doing.

You haven't mentioned why he's been admitted. Has he had a mental health episode due to drug use, or is it just a case of bad luck if he is pre-disposed to some psychiatric illness? In either case, neither of those are your fault. It's hard this parenting lark.

What is your AIBU? I highly doubt you're at fault. Probably just the cards you been dealt..speaking as someone who grew up with a severely disabled brother. Sometimes life is just bloody unfair.

Best of luck with everything, and hoping your son makes a full recovery.

You have brought up a son who has had the bravery to voluntarily go and get the help he needs with his mental health. That sounds like something you should be proud of.

He’s in for suspected PTSD but I think there’s something else going on, maybe bipolar? He has hallucinations & has been prescribed anti-psychotics but the original dose isn’t working so he’s had to up them My Dd (13) had got really clingy this week - obviously because of what is going on but I’m a sole parent with a full time job & I’m spreading myself so thin it’s unreal!

You haven't failed him, you've got him the help he needs.
If he broke his leg and you took him to the fracture clinic to get a cast would you feel you had failed him?

I've had a DC in psychiatric hospital and honestly it's rough enough without blaming yourself. At some point you have to realise you've done your best and this happens sometimes. Save yourself the extra pan of self recrimination and realise now that all that matters is you love your son and he's safe.
You love your son and he's safe 💐

Solidarity OP, that sounds really tough. I bet you're doing an amazing job. Be kind to yourself. Perhaps work could give you a week of compassionate leave to help you gather your thoughts and sort out other related things you need to do...if that's at all possible ❤️‍🩹

He is in the right and best place and you have not failed him at all. If a child was physically unwell they would get admitted to hospital - a parent wouldn't blame themselves for this, the would be glad the hospital could treat them and help them get better. Obviously I do not know your son at all and I am no expert, but I have read that sometimes undiagnosed autistic people end up diagnosed with PTSD and bipolar and end up in psychiatric hospitals where they might be better supported elsewhere. If you aren't sure what the cause of his illness is, maybe autism is something to consider. Just throwing it in there, might not be at all. I hope you both feel better soon.

Would you feel like that dropping him off for chemo? He is receiving treatment for a medical condition. You did good, mama.

I was in a remarkably similar situation to you. Psychotic son diagnosed with personality disorder. Years of horrific self harm and overdoses.
Use the time to regroup and look after yourself and your daughter. There is so little MH support available, for the patients or their families. My DS was never admitted to hospital but he went in the Crisis House twice and it was an enormous, if temporary, relief to not be wholly responsible for him, just for a few days. Community care is a complete joke- it's the family who look after them and bear the brunt.
Please do not lose hope. DS, now 24, is stable and taking first steps into training for employment. He's a lovely well-mannered, empathetic guy with a small circle of friends - all of them with mental health issues, supporting each other. Do not lose hope, however dark the times.