AIBU to find this behaviour irritating?

[NoSchadenfreude]

Looking for a perspective because I have a strained relationship with my mum and without going into the back story, not sure if that’s why these things annoy me so much or if they would others too! Son is 18 months. some examples:

• when I’m cleaning my sons face eg after a meal she says over and over oh what’s your mum doing to you! Poor you
• if there’s a loud noise eg dog barking she says to my son omg did that frighten you you must be so frightened (when he isn’t)
• she walks into the room and always says right here I am, nannas here now
• she says so often can nanna have a hug and when he doesn’t give one she does a sad pouty face and I say leave him he will give one if he wants to later, likewise asking him if he wants to sit on her knee - he doesn’t, he doesn’t want to sit still!

I could go on but you hopefully get the jist?!

She sounds too much

This sounds like normal chatter to a child really. My mum does the ‘nana’ routine but there’s no malice in it. Perhaps she just grates on you and this amplifies it?

Yeah it does sound a bit inane and annoying. Nothing to lose sleep over but I’d be irritated by some of this too.

I get you.

My Mum was like this and it just escalated to completely undermining my parenting at every opportunity. which was funny as she was an awful, neglectful mother herself.

It’s very emotionally immature and shows a lack of boundaries; these are easy to push with a child. I imagine she’s quite self referential too if she’s like others I know who display such traits.

I think it's just annoying parent/grandmother stuff. I'd just roll my eyes and leave her to it. Apart from the last point point about personal boundaries because she needs to learn that and your son needs you to stick up for him.

I mean it sounds a bit grating but fairly normal grandparent behaviour.

It sounds as if there’s more to this than you’ve posted?

I get why this would be annoying. I had a fairly good relationship with my late DM but sometimes she would say stuff like this and it would get right on my nerves! It was probably normal grandmother stuff, though.

The one that annoyed me most was if we said we were going out for the day (or had been out) she would say to the DC, "oh, and where was MY invite?!", kind of joking, kind of not. We used to invite her out all the time for big days but sometimes it was just me, DH and the DC going swimming or to the cinema or something. It made the DC feel bad, and it made me not want to tell her anything we did without her.

That’s interesting, she does think the world revolves around her - always what she wants to do and if she doesn’t enjoy it she makes it known, even if someone else does or wants to.

There is a huge amount but that’s why I wonder if this is just normal and I’m sensitive to it, of it’s really as bloody irritating as it makes me feel 😂

I think being irritated by a parent being overbearing in inserting themselves into the way you choose to educate your child is normal.

She sounds a bit thick. You don't have to entertain it, btw.