Ariana Grande dilemma

[coulditbeme2323]

OK we are spending the summer in Florida. Myself, husband, and children. As it is half work half holiday - we are taking our 19 year old niece for the 6 weeks to help out when we are working.

My girl is 15 and we have managed to get Ariana Grande tickets in Atlanta. For information it's about a two hour flight from Orlando.

Now my husband is happy for our 19 year old niece (who is very sensible) to go with our daughter.

I have said it's a big city, and I would rather go. Not to the concert, but just travel with them.

They only plan to be gone 48 hours.

Who is right?

Plenty of 18 and 19 year olds take gap years and are off travelling the world. I think if your niece is confident and doesn’t feel she needs the support, let her crack on. But if she’s a bit nervous, then go with them. I’d be led by her.

I think an 18/19 year old on her own or with other 18/19 year olds is a tiny bit different than when you have to take care of a 15 year old. I'm sure they could manage, but if they don't need to and you are happy to go, where's the issue?

I get that, but if you think a 19yo is not mature enough to manage in a different city, WHEN will they ever be ready? 😂

It should be fine for the 15yo, but as she's not on her own but with an adult, what is the issue?

nothing stops you from asking for a few rules to be respected - like call if there are delays, only take x or y transport to hotel and concert..

Would you let your niece go shopping in London with your daughter alone together or to a show in central Manchester or Birmingham for example? Really it is the same sort of thing.

Initially I thought you absolutely should go with the but then remembered I travelled alone at 19 pre social media/tech, with no mobile phone to Australia for a few months, countless other friends went to South America, USA, Thailand, Vietnam, India etc etc, we all did it back then.

However, not sure about the 15year old, have they travelled within the US before? Been to Atlanta before? Do they get on very well and are very sensible an trustworthy together? To be honest I can see both yours and your husbands views.

It's not the 19 year old, more asking a 19 year old to be responsible for a child.

how much "taking care" does a 15 yo really need?

It's not a toddler that might run away or get into trouble.

I think it is doing your DD no favours to be this coddling. It's a trip to a concert. You can drop them at the airport and collect them. They will be contactable the whole time and likely absolutely fine. Allowing them to manage this alone would really support both girls' independence, and the only reason to go is your own anxiety. Atlanta is not a dangerous place.

19 year old is old enough to- the question in is your daughter sensible enough

Your "child" is nearly old enough to get married (at least in Scotland nowadays). While that is not something that I would agree with, she is more than old enough to be sensible.

She's old enough to be a paid babysitter and look after other people's young children.

If you think the adult (whose age is irrelevant) is not trustworthy and likely to get drunk or abandon her, then don't let her. But i's not age, it's personality.

Is your DD especially immature or likely to disobey your niece? I guess you know her best but surely they will just have a good time together unless DD is a liability in which case why let her go at all?

No daughter is very sensible

I travelled alone across the world at 19, so I think you're OTT. Atlanta is a big airport but not that difficult to navigate.

How much solo travelling has your niece done? Yes, some young people go off and travel the world at this age but if your niece hasn't done this type of thing she won't have learnt the lessons that come with it.

I personally don't think it is unreasonable to go with them. While everything would probably be fine, Atlanta has a much higher crime rate than London or other big cities in the UK.

Not with someone else’s child though!

Some 19 yos have babies of their own.

They do, but it's probably not ideal.

Some 15 years do as well.

I don’t understand the comments saying a 19yo is too young to be flying with a 15yo. I was 19yo and flew two long hauls back to back with my 8 week old baby.

I had been flying solo internationally since I was 12.

This is a small hop like from London to Edinburgh. There’s no language barrier. A 15yo isn’t hard work either, they’re mostly self sufficient.

I raised my kids to fly in pairs and then solo from a young age too. At the time, once they were 14 the airline no longer provided a staff person to ensure they made it to a connecting flight in a foreign airport.

I think you’re being a bit over protective.

Yeah but 15 is old enough to fly on your own and she is flying with another adult.

In Trump's America no way. ICE are paid by results, they don't need a reason, just an excuse so no, I'd certainly not let two young people travel alone in the US

I meant the 19 year old might not want to.

I think these things are very personal to the children and young adults involved, some are adventurous and are up to travel and do new things early and some are not at all and would require more lead-up to doing things independently.

I think either is fine, the key thing is to get them independent at some point, not if it happens dead on 15.

That's why university is very handy, it makes them leave home and it makes us let go of them, I think it's harder when they don't go to uni in some ways.

It could also be problematic with permission forms etc, something to check!

I wouldn't be happy with this arrangement

This is batshit. Of course a 19 year old can cope.

😂

My son was 15 when he took a flight from Stockholm to Manchester, then a train from Manchester Airport to Leeds. On his own from his dad dropping him at the airport. He was fine and perfectly capable of reading signs.

19 is an adult, they might be married (or not) and have made a choice to start a family young. A 19 yo can be a nanny or a childminder too. The point is that (unlike a 15 yo) there are no safeguarding concerns about an adult woman looking after a child and unless she's very immature there shouldn't be.