Examples of rich people being stingy!

[50sandFabulous]

MIL worth Millions. Huge house, several cars, hundreds of thousands in cash ISA's and Bonds. Owns at least 8 properties that she rents out, so monthly income from that must be at least £7k a month, plus a few pensions, so probably income of £10k per month. No mortgage. Will she treat her son and me for a meal? Fuck no. We either pay or it's split 50/50. I just don't get it. When we eat out with our adult kids we always pay, as even though they work, we know they don't have as much as we do. Anyone else got in-laws or friends like this?

The idea that the person with the most money should pay when family go out makes me u comfortable. It introduces a different dynamic to when people split the bill.

If one person invites the others out then I think it’s fine that they pay, but if it’s just a get-together then no, I’d not like that to be the deal.

I agree, as is the focus on someone else’s money, how much they have coming in. I just don’t think like that and I’m aghast so many on here do.

I suspect this wasn't about money as such but about making a point of you being in her mind not worthy of it. You were only 'the help'. It tells you a lot about her

Yes - we are the wealthier ones and the same for us - we go out for lunch with dh's family and we pay - they rarely even say thank you - it's just expected. And no one would buy us a coffee or a pint. Neither MIL or my mum have paid for a meal in decades we always pay for them, have never really thought they should. I would never expect anyone to pay for me regardless of how wealthy they were.

Only £7k from 8 rental properties?

Do your poorer customers haggle over price? Or do you think wealthy people should pay more? We run a business some people haggle on price and some don't - you decide to do business or not - leave the wealthy customers and work for the poor ones if that suits you better.

I hope none of my family are thinking like this.

We run a business for luxury lifestyles, we're not a charity.

So all your customers are wealthy and some ask for a discount - why is that so awful? Use your voice and say no - why take it so personally?

We do say no, and don't take it personally. Some people will always ask for a discount, if they have history with our company and have been customers for years we will consider it.

The service our company provides is not fixing roofs or putting up fencing. The very fact they approach us in the first place means they have a luxury property and want to make some expensive changes. We're a small family run company with huge overheads and our profit margins are small.

I have this, to a degree. I’m wealthier than my siblings, and when we are out they’ll attempt to split the bill by ‘family unit’ rather than individual, so that I (attending alone) would subsidise their partners and adult children. Every time, I say no, let’s spilt per adult, and am met with a faux naive “oh yes, of course, silly me” type response.

it’s infuriating.

People should pay their own way in life.

Grabby

Hopefully her poor child and your dh won't have to wait too long..

We also run a small business, we don't whine about things - we either run our business profitably whilst provide a good service or we don't and we go under - no one owes us a living. It goes both ways too - everyone tries it on a bit, client and supplier because you must deal with both and we've had suppliers who have attempted to make excess profits off us and we have just said no - they come back with a better price or we go elsewhere. You really need to develop a thicker skin.

No, that's not what's being said at all. The point being made is that if someone chooses not to do things that most loving parents who were well off would enjoy doing, and don't seem to have any of the parental feelings many of the rest of us have where we love to treat our children, then they needn't bring out the 'I thought my family would look after me, please run around doing my errands and being my servant all day every day' line when they become less capable and don't want to spend their own money on buying help in. That's being transactional. And it happens a lot.

She’s talking about the odd meal now and again, not a flat in Chelsea.

Most billionaires and Musk. Obviously they could solve a lot of world problems and suffering but instead one wants to become a famous space invader so he can hoard more money no doubt

Ok point taken, thicker skin grown 💪 Are you also on the eczema thread? Joking obviously 😉

Dh has just had a frank word with a friend who does this everytime they go out.
I was cringing when he told me he called his friend out but I know he had finally had enough.

I don't think that's what she was saying at all!! She said she never offers to pay even though shes loaded....

Why is this so transactional? She is happy to go 50/50 and pay her half. She doesn't have to 'treat' you, its her choice.

She doesn't owe you a treat. You can't make someone treat you. The whole point of treating someone is because you want to do it no strings attached.

You choose to treat people. If you're now resenting that she doesn't treat you just go back to 50/50 splits.

Why she doesn't do it, its her choice and she doesn't owe you an explanation either.

Its aame as when it comes ro care it shouldn't be transactional based on how much mobey she gifted you or how much uou will inherit its because you want to care for her with no expectations or string attached.

Awful the way many people turn it into a transactional dynamic.

You be who you want to be and let kther be how they are, you choose your boundaries and if treating her is now annoying you then just stop.

One of our neighbours won a million on a scratchcard but he will still charge his family petrol money for lifts and tip runs.

I knew someone who had their slippers repaired instead of buying new and boiled the kettle once in the morning, put the hot water in a flask and used it for coffees / teas all day.

Yes but the M in L is happy to.let her son and his wife pay for her but wont reciprocate at all. V rude and shows her up as not a v nice person.

But being parsimonious to yourself is not the same as being stingy with others. I would say I’m quite careful but would never ever not pay my way in fact I veer in the opposite direction!