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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Had a car accident on the way to school

217 replies

Zaina89 · 09/06/2026 10:08

Was on the way to take my kids to school this morning, exited a roundabout 2nd exit with my left indicator on. I assumed my indicator had turned of because I had turned and I have played back the dash cam footage and can’t hear any indicator. Neither when I was driving could I hear the indicator hadn’t switched off.
was driving 40 on a 40 road. This was 1/2 minutes approx after putting my indicator and exiting round about.
next thing I know driving down this 40mph road a car on a give way on my left with his indicator on turns out in front of me, immediately as I see him turning I slam my brakes on and beep my horn. Because of my high speed you can hear on the dash cam footage the noise my brakes are making because I slammed down. He didn’t even attempt to move back and he hit into the left side of my car. The man wasn’t even getting out of his car he just reversed back. I got out of my car shouting “ what have you done?” “ why did you just do that?”
only then he got out of his car and even then didn’t check his car or mine and just stayed at his drivers door. When I kept asking him “ why did you do that?” He just remained calm, smiled weirdly and said “ you had your indicator on to turn left, I’ve got it all on camera”
my indicator wasn’t on when I immediately got out to check my car, he didn’t even bother to check for any damage on his car and didn’t bother to see mine.
I asked him for his phone number and details and that I would be going to drop my kids off at school because we are now late and they are in shock and upset and he refused and said “ it’s a company car, just take a picture of my reg” and got back in his car. He didn’t even move away from his drivers door, didn’t check the damage, didn’t make any pictures or videos of our cars or the damage. Refused to give me his name and phone number and just said take a picture of my reg and got back in his car and drove away like nothing happened.

im just in complete shock, my son was sat in the passengers side and im just getting a panic attack thinking if I wouldn’t have slammed the brakes as soon as I saw him doing what he did it would have been a bad accident. No one is hurt, my car isn’t badly damaged mostly just bad scratches.
I genuinely did not know my indicator was on ( if it even was!) I can hear when my indicator is on and I couldn’t hear anything even looking back at the dash cam footage you can’t hear the indicator just me and my children casually talking and then you can hear me beeping and slamming down on the brakes and then the collision. If my indicator was on, I’m not sure why it hadn’t turned off or made noise because I exited the roundabout a minute or 2 before the collision.

surely by my speed going 40mph and not slowing down or intending to turn he should have known I was not turning and shouldn’t have pulled out! Trying to remain calm but it’s just so strange he refused to give me his name and number and also very strange he didn’t seem concerned to atleast check his own car and any damage, didn’t even take any pictures or videos!

OP posts:
tingalings · 09/06/2026 20:30

JacquesHarlow · 09/06/2026 17:27

I wonder if people ever stop victim blaming OPs on here and recognise that sometimes, just sometimes, the protagonist in these stories is the one at fault?!

The protagonist is the OP. I'm confused over what you're saying.

IdBeLionIfISaid · 09/06/2026 21:16

tingalings · 09/06/2026 20:30

The protagonist is the OP. I'm confused over what you're saying.

Edited

It's very clear they mean the man as the protagonist.

Solaitt · 09/06/2026 21:17

DryTerryandJUNE · 09/06/2026 15:31

You are failing to understand that he was also probably shaken. You know nothing about him, he could be in a marriage with lots of "raised voices" and just wanted to get away.
Just because you think you are a reasonable person doesn't mean he doesn't trust you to escalate to a full on tantrum.
One man's smirking is another man's "oh shit" face.
You seem to want him hanged, drawn and quartered when all he's done is accidentally drive into you and left because he felt uncomfortable.
He knows you have his number plate and he probably has yours. No one was injured, thankfully!

Your whole post screams misogyny!

This man committed an offence by leaving the scene of an accident without sharing details.

You’re implying this man has a shouting/hysterical wife at home and just needed to “get away” from the OP. What a load bull 🤣

If he was able to blame the OP on the accident for her “indicator” then he was more than able to give her his number and insurance details.

To blame the OP for causing the man to leave the scene is absolutely ridiculous.

StrongTea · 09/06/2026 21:54

He could have been over the drink driving limit, and just wanted to get away before police were involved. Main thing is everyone was ok. Let the insurance deal with it.

SandyHappy · 09/06/2026 23:58

Peacewillcome · 09/06/2026 16:47

Speeding is a matter for the police not the insurance. Liability doesn’t always align with the law. Once you understand that, you drive more defensively - again, Big Jobber is an education. He also mentioned at one point how many cases a claims handler is responsible for at once. IIRC it was hundreds - well at least a figure that suggests getting an insurance company to change their view on liability and fight your corner/go to court, would be an uphill struggle.

Well at least a figure that suggests getting an insurance company to change their view on liability and fight your corner/go to court, would be an uphill struggle.

This is absolutely true, but that is what solicitors are for, not your insurance company. Legal cover is what this exact scenario is for, to bridge the gap.

Insurance companies will always follow the path of least resistance IMO, or the 'whoever shouts loudest' principle.

Apopos · 10/06/2026 00:08

ijustwanttoworkout · 09/06/2026 10:33

You left your indicator on, 40mph is a limit not a target and you should’ve been paying better attention. A scary lesson to have learned.

She believes that she likely didn’t leave her indicator on.

On a clear, dry road, going at the speed limit is not a bad idea and often in fact, a good idea.

She was paying attention, that was why she was able to brake before it happened. This will have lessened the impact.

In addition, I hope that you don’t pull out in front of people, purely relying on their indicator? That indeed would be a scary lesson for you to learn. Might be worth you learning it in advance 😊

Apopos · 10/06/2026 00:12

SandyHappy · 09/06/2026 11:00

It sounds like he will be held liable as he failed to 'give way', the indicator would explain why he did it, but won't save him from liability.

You saying he should have moved back out of your way is just daft though, if your left indicator WAS on, at 40mph he would have a second at most to realise that you weren't actually making the turn, at which point he was already committed (and presumably also checking his left side to make sure it was clear to proceed), then turned back to realise you were in his path.

Incidentally, I hate it when people start shouting and yawping at an accident site, there is no need to keep going on at someone, distressing your kids by shouting and carrying on. It's happened, it was an accident, that is what insurance is for.

Shouting and ‘yawping’? It’s actually often a reaction to the adrenaline and shock.

Empathetic of you though.

Apopos · 10/06/2026 00:14

SandyHappy · 09/06/2026 11:17

It's not what you put in your OP, but fair enough.

You asked him why he did it. He told you why he did it. There could be something in what he said as why would he calmly say your indicator was on if it wasn't. People don't routinely pull out on other people on a 40mph road, knowing they will automatically be at fault for failing to give way.

Either way he was wrong to pull out, and will most likely be held liable, most people learn the hard way about indicators being left on and will only pull out if they are certain the car is turning in, even then I don't go in case there is a motorbike etc behind that you can't see, but at school run time a lot of people are in a rush and that is prime time for accidents to happen.

He must have stopped too when he realised you weren't turning, and you stopped too when you realised what he was doing, just neither quite in time to avoid a collision unfortunately.

I’m not sure why we’re focusing so much on her behaviour at the scene. He did not provide his details, which is an offence. Clearly, he didn’t have good intentions.

TeaPot496 · 10/06/2026 00:41

I bet your indicator wasn't on and that the car was stolen / false plates.

Mama2many73 · 10/06/2026 07:25

Ive not read all the responses, have read OPs . Just wondering if you watch play back the dashcam of any journey you do can you hear the indicator going on ? Just so you might be able to see if your indicator was possibly on or not, but even if it was its not your fault
.
My Dsis recently had an accident where the other driver (at fault) claimed he had dashcam to 'prove' she was at fault. He WAS aggressive . Turned out he didn't have dashcam and was not properly insured.
BTW I really dont think your reaction was at all aggressive or OTT!

LizandDerekGoals · 10/06/2026 07:33

Op you are not at fault. He pulled out in front of you and your footage shows that. His argument requires his word that you would be indicating for no reason and, even if you were, ignoring the highway code.

when he said to take a photo i would have also taken one of him. Also at the time call the police due to refusing to hand over details.

Mumoftwoadults · 10/06/2026 09:05

How are you this morning OP? Hopefully you're feeling less shaky and confident that the insurance company will get it sorted.

LogicVoid · 10/06/2026 09:06

I think it may be that his attitude was due to realising you had a dashcam yourself...

Regardless of 'indicating or not', he was at fault for pulling out. Perhaps he was trying to scam crash. Perhaps he isn't actually insured. Perhaps it wasn't his car. Either way, quite right to report to police for failing to exchange details, and let your insurers handle things.

Zaina89 · 10/06/2026 11:18

Mumoftwoadults · 10/06/2026 09:05

How are you this morning OP? Hopefully you're feeling less shaky and confident that the insurance company will get it sorted.

I’m ok! Still a bit upset, it’s my birthday tomorrow as well and DH booked us a weekend away on Friday ( without the kids) and I feel like my entire mood and week has been ruined from this incident. I’ve told him I don’t want to go anymore or celebrate anything but I’m probably just being unreasonable at this point. I’m a very emotional person and take time to let things go so it’s really affected me!

OP posts:
Mumoftwoadults · 10/06/2026 12:38

I had an accident the day before a holiday many years ago. It was different as it was entirely my fault, but it wrote my car off. I got that news while we were away and I cried at losing my car. It was old, but I liked it. So I sort of understand how you feel. My advice would be to go, because there's nothing else you can do about what happened. Let the insurance people handle it . That's what you pay for!
And Happy Birthday! X 🎂

TeaPot496 · 10/06/2026 12:41

Zaina89 · 10/06/2026 11:18

I’m ok! Still a bit upset, it’s my birthday tomorrow as well and DH booked us a weekend away on Friday ( without the kids) and I feel like my entire mood and week has been ruined from this incident. I’ve told him I don’t want to go anymore or celebrate anything but I’m probably just being unreasonable at this point. I’m a very emotional person and take time to let things go so it’s really affected me!

Don't allow him to ruin the rest of your week as well. He was just a dickhead behaving like a dickhead. Decide to rise above it and leave it in the hands of the people you pay to take care of it (police and insurers).

Iwanttobeafraser · 10/06/2026 12:59

Zaina89 · 10/06/2026 11:18

I’m ok! Still a bit upset, it’s my birthday tomorrow as well and DH booked us a weekend away on Friday ( without the kids) and I feel like my entire mood and week has been ruined from this incident. I’ve told him I don’t want to go anymore or celebrate anything but I’m probably just being unreasonable at this point. I’m a very emotional person and take time to let things go so it’s really affected me!

honestly, you do need to let this go. It was a shock but. no one was hurt and this man was a dick. go away and relax and leave it all to the insurers.

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