Hearing my awful date last year assaulted someone.

[brackenbury]

Hi,

Last year I posted about a date that I went on with an awful man. Granted, it was only one date. I'm a paediatrician and he kept making 'jokes' the whole evening calling me a 'pedo' because it sounded similar to 'paediatrician'.

It was pathetic to say the least - and insulting given my line of work.

A few weeks went by and I updated my post to say he texted me from another number calling me a 'snobby bitch'. Everyone here on MN was horrified as I was. I informed my employer for safeguarding reasons - and the police as he wouldn't stop. He then stopped.

Per my last update - I since got a rescue dog and am happy (single - by choice!) I have had a lot of grief in recent years due to bereavements.

Anyway, we are almost a year later (9 months later) now - and I am horrified to share that he was in the news for physically and sexually assaulting a woman. I won't say too much more, but I have reached out to the authorities to (again) share the numbers he'd be using (upon advice) to harass me and reiterate that this is a person who needs to be locked up. I'm not comparing a bad date and his nasty texts to physical/sexual assault (which this poor woman suffered).

I just want to thank everyone who supported me.

I am thinking of this poor woman tonight and praying for her. (She will be fine in that it wasn't fatal - but obviously she will be traumatised and in deep mental/emotional pain).

I'm not sure why I'm sharing this - and am teary eyed as I type. Just wanted to say thank you to everyone. Please pray for this woman tonight.

I am very sorry for what's happened to you and to this poor woman. It sounds as though you have done the right thing at every junction.

However, don't be surprised if he isn't locked up. I was on a jury and we found a man guilty of sexual assault. He was very clearly a rapist and had raped the victim, but he wasn't on a rape charge, "just" sexual assault. He didn't get locked up.

I'm so incredibly sorry.
Give your dog a big cuddle for now, but perhaps ask if the police can put you in touch with victim support. You were a victim of harassment, and you're having to face it all again now. Or could you access some support through your work?

A good friend of mine was violently, physically assaulted by a male neighbour yesterday. We shouldn't have to live in fear as women.

I remember your thread! Omg op! How fucking disgusting 🤢.

Well done for being so brave and reporting to the police and your employer.

Fingers crossed he is put away, this man cant be allowed to roam the streets.

My best to you, and yes, prayers for women!

❤️

Bullet dodged. He sounded awful then. I hope his victim gets some justice.

Another that remembers your thread.
Some horrible creatures out there.
Better with your doggie.

Fingers crossed he sees the inside of a prison cell.

Is this the guy connected with a tv programme. I saw it on Facebook today. Seems like he's been working the dating sites from the comments, if he's the same guy.

All you can do is be thankful you didn't get too involved with him and hopefully he gets locked away to keep other women protected.

Thank god we have claires law (and Sarah's law) these are proving so vital in helping so many women but I guess sometimes the red flags aren't shown or seen til it's too late for some. Ive made sure my 19 yr old DD knows what the laws are and how to access them!

"I'm not sure why I'm sharing this - and am teary eyed as I type."

Because it could have been you.
Thank God it wasn't and that you were strong enough to report that bastard and that you continue to do the right thing. 🩷
Please remember to protect yourself, including your mental health from this experience and new development. 💐

I remember your thread as well. He just sounded like a childish idiot, it never crossed my mind that he'd go on to do something so awful.

You've done everything right in terms of speaking to the police about him and giving them information. Give your lovely dog a cuddle and be kind to yourself over the next few days. You've had a shock, so take the time you need to recover. Thinking of you and the poor lady concerned.

How absolutely horrible. What a bastard.

I too remember your previous thread, and I'm glad you were able to report him at the time as it means there's already at least one incident of his terrible behaviour on file.

You must feel really shaken up by this. That poor woman too, I desperately hope she has love and support.

Edited to add, I'm so sorry to read about @VivienneDelacroix's friend too.

Oh my goodness, I remember your post! And remember thinking thank God you didn't see him again.

This poor lady, I am so sorry to hear this. I hope she has enough support to get through such an awful ordeal. I completely understand why you are so upset 💐

I can imagine the shock you feel (and there will be others out there).
Keep eating well and spending time with your dog OP - you made the right and sensible call.
The more online posts that shine a light on unacceptable dating behaviour the better and safer for all of us.

I imagine you may be coping with a bit of survivor guilt. Heartfelt well done for all of the steps you took that turned your experience into evidence. You could not have done more.

Hardly surprising your upset OP. Hope.this horrible specimen is taken off the streets

I also remember that thread. Horrible, sick bastard. I hope his victim is getting as much support as possible. But what is going to happen to him? Probably not much, that is the horrific truth.

I also remember your thread. I would just like to remind you that you made the police aware of his behaviours back then and were lucky enough to get away fast. Unfortunately for the poor woman she has been somewhat of an easier target or he's just escalated his behaviours, not so much a bullet dodged feeling when you know someone behind you caught it. I'd like it to survivors guilt to be honest. Be kind to yourself and if the opportunity arises, give the lady your support and condolences and share, it could help you both heal, especially for her as she may be thinking she is to blame and he's never behaved that way before. It's entirely not your responsibility but I know how my head would be turning. Thinking of you and her x

Didn't notice someone else likening it as I typed my comment!

I too remember your post, Op.

Be kind to yourself x

I am so very sorry what happened to you and that poor lady. I hope the police take your information seriously and it will result in a long conviction!! What an abhorrent man. So glad you had a lucky escape.

I remember your previous thread OP. You are upset, because you realise that this poor woman, could have ended up being you. The gravity of the situation, how your instincts kicked in to warn you of this man, have made you very aware you could have been his next prey. Absolutely no doubt this man is a predator, who is a danger to women. Seek some support for yourself OP, harassment/stalking makes you a victim of this man too. Sending hugs ❤️

@VivienneDelacroix I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. That is absolutely horrifying. I hope she gets justice from this ordeal and I hope she is able to come through this. What a horrible situation. Sending love.

Thank you to everyone and for the replies to my post. Very shaken and upset today. Trying to keep my head above water. Thinking of the poor lady he assaulted. Vile man.

I remember your previous thread and your reaction is completely understandable – that must have come as a terrible shock. It might help to talk to someone, even if it's just posting here ❤

As others have said, your reports should help to show a pattern of aggression/harassment from this disgusting man.

I remember your thread op. Be kind to yourself. You dodged a bullet but unfortunately it was another woman. Hopefully they'll lock him up although I doubt it

I remember your post too OP. How very shocking. Take care of yourself

OMG I remember your post. How awful. Sending love 💐