AIBU to wonder why I still want to feel attractive?

[Sneedsdoing]

NC for this. I am a fit and healthy woman, pushing 48, comfortably married, DH is 55. We are very affectionate but despite both being in physically great shape, sort of CBA with sex. Used to love it, but neither of us seem bothered any more. I am on HRT for 2 months and feel better, but hasn’t made a difference in this respect.

DH definitely cares less about his appearance (impeccable hygiene), used to enjoying shopping but now finds it a chore.

I am on the contrary - for the first time in many years can afford to buy what I want and have been spending a lot more time and money on my appearance - clothes, accessories, haircuts, skincare. Partly, because I enjoy these and partly putting up the fight against aging. I want to look like I still “have it” at work too, not over the hill. I want DD to think of me as sassy. I enjoy the occasional appreciative glance, especially from a woman clocking in my nice outfit. All harmless.

The confusing part is why do I still want to look and feel attractive if the sexual appetite is not there? What is the point? Does anyone else feel like this?

Not really no. I’m clean, mostly presentable. Hair always done. A little make up. But fashion? Nope. Fuck that noise. I suppose I could pass muster for a special occasion but I tend to avoid those like the plague as well 😂

I think this is a bit odd. Looking and feeling good about myself are not just about sex. It's more to do with self esteem and feelings of self worth. I think there is a difference between 'sexy' clothes and feeling well put together.

Perhaps you do want sex but not with your DH?
Perhaps you just like being admired?
Perhaps when you look good you feel great and it has nothing to do with anyone else or sex?

What’s it got to do with sex? Being groomed and taking care of your appearance is in and of itself fine - it’s not about being sexually attractive.

It's an ego boost if someone fancies you, even if you don't want to do anything about it. That's ok to admit! I have zero libido, but when someone gives me the eye it's nice to know I've still got it, even if I don't want it 🤣