How many museums is enough?

[LightningTree]

My DH and I took a 3 day city break in Berlin. We had lovely weather and I thought we would enjoy exploring the city, but DH just wanted to go from museum to museum. For me a museum is something to do when it’s raining. I suggested he go on his own but he said that was no fun. Was I unreasonable to refuse to go to a third museum after we visited the first two?

My spouse and I have different ideas about vacation and we try to plan our trips to accommodate both of us. It's fine if he loves museums and only wants to go to museums hit he also needs to compromise and you already went to 2 so it's fair to do something else and if he is unwilling then split up for a few hours and do what you both want and meet up later in the day.

While I enjoy museums I wouldn't want to spend the whole 3 days going from museum to museum and I recognize that's my preference hence why I said compromise is key.

What did you end up doing after he disagreed?

How much time had been spent on the previous museums? Was it just one museum heavy day or he was expecting you to spend a full day in each one and not see the rest of the city? Either way, maybe you both need to communicate a bit more on advance of the next trip so you can come up with an itinerary that suits you both?

Why couldn’t he visit the third one on his own?

If you are exploring the centre of Berlin, it is incredibly museum heavy.

Did you talk before you went about what both of you wanted to do so it suited both of you?

It sounds like he has turned up with a plan and taken you by surprise.

I take it this was on Museum Island, where all the museums are pretty much next to each other? Neither of you are being particularly unreasonable in wanting or not wanting to go - the problem is him insisting that you have to go with him. That’s not on.

From memory you can buy an all-inclusive ticket for 1 day which makes each museum quite good value - but you need to be incredibly choosy then about only seeing the highlights of each museum so you don’t end up getting ‘museumed out’, and intersperse it with other outdoor activities and food breaks.

Did you enjoy Berlin apart from that? 😊

The museums in Berlin are fabulous, I don’t think your dh was being unreasonable. But in a short visit I probably wouldn’t want to do many as there is so much else to do and see.

I recently went to Venice with dh and our kids and I made a rule, only one museum or church per day!

I love museums, it's my hobby, it's why I moved to London. I now live in Germany. When DH and I went to Berlin he stayed in the hotel while I went to museums all day, I loved the Postal Museum. We always do this, I go off and do what I want on my own, it works perfectly.

At least one per day seems fine to me but I’ve been to 3 in the past 2 days on holiday.

I did 3 in one day on a solo holiday to Poland 😅 How spaced out were the first two visits? Were they big museums you need to dedicate a couple of hours to to make it worthwhile? If it was 1 a day that would be less unreasonable than 3 in one day for example.

Never more than one a day, and ideally a day off before the next one.

But DS1 disagrees. I can still remember his tantrum on being removed from the natural history museum about 2 hours after the rest of us had had enough. He was about 4 - and now at college!

We did 2 per day in our 5 day trip to Madrid, in August, with a teenager! Still didn't see enough! We all loved it. But that's what we like doing. Just walking down the Gran Via or having a coffee people-watching was not our aim (but e live in Barcelona and do that on the daily!).

Have a chat before you go on holidays about expectations.

I think it’s ok to go to a number of museum as long as you only linger to look at what interests you. They are often in interesting and historic buildings so worth a quick visit especially if they are free.

I think two museums maximum for a three day weekend, personally

I guess you have to compromise. My DH and I both love museums, but not always the same ones. So we have a chat and agree, or we split up to do a few separate things

The museums in Berlin are so fascinating and so diverse that I think YABU. Which museums did you go to? My top three (for 20th century history which I was particularly interested in) would be the Check Point Charlie museum, the DDR museum, the Jewish Museum. There's also all the fabulous museums and galleries on museum island - which is itself a UNESCO world heritage site - with highlights including the mask of Nefertiti, other ancient Egyptian, Greek and Roman treasures. And the natural history museum, and the museum of technology. And outdoor installations and memorials like the Topography of Terror and the Holocaust Memorial. In fact, I can't imagine going to Berlin and only seeing three museums so YABVVVU!

A huge reason to visit Berlin is for the museums and the history. Yabu.

when we plan travel, if it isn’t purely sitting and reading some place beautiful, it is a schedule of museums and restaurants. The only thing I find odd about your husband’s plans are that he did not have a schedule of which museums you would attend each day. Sometimes special exhibits need advance tickets or certain things are only on display for limited hours. You can’t just wander.

the two of you need to agree on your goals and the beginning of planning, otherwise you will both be disappointed.

It’s something I completely missed out on when I went to Berlin and my biggest regret. I’m exactly that kind of holiday person, but the Rammstein concert wiped me out for two of the 5 days!

It’s reasonable for one person to want to see lots of museums and reasonable for another not to! So either you have to compromise or else spend some of the time separately.
Clearly Berlin needs more than 3 days to see everything.

Unless one of you is the other's full time carer, it's perfectly ok to do not always do everything together on holiday. And Berlin is an easy city to each find loads of things to do in. The museums and art galleries are fabulous, but there's tons of other stuff too, and the public transport is really easy to use.

Why not plan activities in the same general area, and meet up for coffee or lunch, as well as spending evenings together? Obviously also have days where you do stuff together.

It sounds like he thought you were being unreasonable for not doing what he wanted but he gave no thought to doing some of what you wanted.

It's not your job to make him getting his own way more 'fun' for him by pretending it's also what you want to do.