to be fed up with my 5 month old (today)

[pamelat]

I love my daughter to bits

She has always been high maintenace, colic symptons, then possible lactose problems (no real diagnosis)

She slept through the night for 10 days a week or so back, and has reverted to waking (only once but I feel tired)

I know I am having a bad day but I genuinely feel that I cant be bothered (today). Have given her a bath, put her to bed and just sat down but just feel disillusioned and like a rubbish parent.

I cant even see past tmrw at the moment!!

She wont let me put her down in the day (sling, pram are ok) and I was hoping that with age (I know she is still young but everyone told me that at 3 months she would play happily!!) she would get some independence. And then I feel like a rubbish mum to even say and want that.

She still cries for about an hour a day in total, and she would cry a lot more if I were not intervening each time.

Any tips? She screams if she is hungry, if she is put down, if she is put in her car seat, if she is tired (but she wont sleep)

I tried her in the door bouncer today, she loved it if I bounced her and I talked to her but as soon as I look away she screams - I have created a real little madam!!

I feel guilty for thinking like this, just sometimes feel like putting her in her room for half an hour and leaving her to it!!

can I suggest walking with her in the pram - only because you don't mention it and fresh air knocked mine out beautifully

don't feel rubbish please, they can lull you into a false sense of security with a 10 day sleep through period and then whip it out from under your feet

No your not being unreasonable, you're knackered you poor thing. If it all gets to much you wont cause any damage by putting her in her cot for half and hour and letting her cry it out for the sake of your sanity

The first year is so hard
The best thing to do is to go out as much as possible. Go to mother and toddlers, see what the nct is offering, go to the libray and see if they do rhyme times etc

You haven't creasted a monster, it's nothing you have done. Honestly. My ds2 sounds similar in temperament to your dd but he is my 3rd so I am fairly confident it is just his nature, rather than my parenting that is the issue.

Some babies are just more demanding (high maintenance is a great description) than others which does make them very hard work. I know exactly how you are feeling - I had phases of ds2 getting a bit much for me to cope with but you come out of the other side and it goes back to being bearable again. It sounds as though you are being a fab mummy and meeting all of her needs, so don't feel bad about yourself or your parenting skills.

It does get easier once they can sit unaided, and easier again when they can crawl then walk because they can follow you around and not feel so abandoned but, ime, 5 months is a hard time anyway, even if you have an easy baby. They're not tiny anymore but they still can't 'do' anything, they don't play as such and you get nothing back from them.

Hang in there, it will get better. In the meantime, remind yourself that she is your little girl and she is unique and special and beautiful because of you.

I can only agree with the get out of the house sentiments. I pushed my DS for hours and when he fell asleep I'd go for a coffee and read the paper which was bliss. It's a tough age for them - they get very frustrated because they want to do things but they can't. Don't worry, she's waaay too young to be a little madam

My DS will now play happily on his own for up to an hour if I'm in the same room now he's 15 months. It'll whizz by, promise

i would agree with the walk in fresh air my ds would fall straight to sleep and id feel better for having got out

you have not createda little madam this sounds like perfectly normal behaviour my ds didnt play happily at 3 months they need stimulation

i think your just tired as lots of babies are screaming for longer through the day so she sounds content

go for a wlak get fresh air grab a cup of coffee and relax and have fun

it is demanding and you will have days your so tired but fresh air helps loads

and it doesnt last forever you sound like your doing a great job and she sounds adoreable

could she be teething also as my ds was teethintg at 6 weeks at this age they are curious of everything and want to do so much that they cannot and this frustrates them

im afraid independance is along way off as they always need stimulation but it will get less that you have to give it as she becomes more independant

try and enjoy the time get an early night and tomorrow arouns nap time take her out in fresh air and relax

Well your dd and my ds are in cahoots, because you've just described him exactly! He is 5 months as well. Demanding, cries easily and recently, waking every 2 hours at night (cold and teething) so all in all, bit of a nightmare. I have stopped thinking 'when he gets to x age it will get better' and have started to take each day at a time, some days crap, some days ok. I think you are doing everything you can and everything right. Other things to think about are maybe one of those activity centre things, I just looked mine out of the garage (was dd's) and he quite likes that because he's upright in it, also I've got him sitting in his highchair in the kitchen when I'm in there, and he like watching me. I have to say, all these things only buy me 5 or 10 minutes at the most. He also likes his door bouncer.

I totally understand your frustration, these type of babies are bloody hard work, and they do make you feel like a failure sometimes because you spend your entire day trying to keep them happy and they can still be miserable little sods! You haven't created a 'madam' - what else can you do with a baby that screams to be carried, screams for food, screams for anything! I have heard that these type of babies can mellow out when they are walking or as toddlers, but again, I'm not pinning too many hopes on that because I don't want to end up disappointed when/if ds doesn't!

sorry for typos got puffy eyes from hayfever

Mondays are the hardest with a week looming ahead of you.

My DD is 6 months and does shout if I put her down / walk away. I look back and ask her what the commotion is about and usually she grins - I think they just want communication. I will put her on the play mat and she'll shout but then she'll stop and play - and I discovered that she prefers to sit amongst the toys rather than laying down.

I think its also about progress - and their needing us to catch up with their changing needs and desires.

Don't beat yourself up. Waking once a night is enough to make me lose all short term memory and abiltiy to be civil (and ability to wear make up) so you're ok, its not an unnatural response you're having.

both my 2 were tricky from 4-6 months and got a lot easier once they could sit.

dd also a lot more content once weaned

do you have a bumbo? i used to sit my 2 in the bumbo on the work top beside me while I washed dishes or chopped beg or whatever.

persist with the door bouncer, hopefully she'll learn to bounce it herself v soon. my SIL (I think it was her!) placed a mirror on the wall opposite her ds when he was in the door bouncer so he could watch himself bouncing.

my ds got into baby mozart from not a lot older than 5 months (something else to feel like a bad parent about)

"this phase will pass" (the mantra of motherhood!)

good luck!!

Sounds very much like my DS. For the first six months he was hell. Would not be put down (or would be but had to be interacted with), woke every 1 - 2 hours through the night, was whingy and irritable and generally wouldnt be pacified by anybody but me.

Then a few things happened. He learnt to sit confidently. He learnt to pull himself up. He could commando crawl and roll to get to things - in short he got some of the independence he so desperately wanted. He also started nursery at this point when I went back to work and loved the stimulation of the other children.

As he got more and more mobile he got easier and easier. I soon learnt that he was a very active and social child and needed plenty of activity and friends around him. Nursery was a godsend - he loved it, it wore him out and he was smily and calm to see me. When we were at home lots of toddling/trips in pram, different baby groups etc all made him so much happier.

To look at ds now he is a completly different child. He sleeps fab, entertains himself (kind of lol), has lots of friends at nursery and is generally a happy chap. However if the entertainment slips he is still hard to handle and it goes to show that he is just active and wanting to socialise - give him this and hes fine. Bit like a dog really - lots of exercise, food and love lol.

What Im trying to say is things do get easier. I reckon the first 6 months are the hardest and after that things often start to brighten as they get more confidence and freedom. I always found that being out of the house helped and if I could find adult company it was a bonus. Everything was easier with someone else there.

I very much agree with the mantra "this too will pass"

xxx

Oh you poor poppet! My DD was just the same. She is 9 months now but until she was about 5 months she NEVER slept through the night and would scream if she was put down (even if I sat down whilst holding her). I would walk around the house all day holding her and simply crying because I was so frustrated. I used my sling alot so that I could do crazy stuff like - pee, eat, drink (non-alcoholic!)!

She is much better now but still very clingy - whilst it doesn't seem so right now, this time will pass.

maybe you up the take of milk, is she on solids if not try that, as my daughter started early. my dd was like that for while but it was as she was not getting enough food and sleep. poor you its very hard work looking after a baby

Here's what I did when I blissfully only had ds1 to think about - I decided I'd have a ME day and he would tag along. I popped him in the car, took his changing bag, a bottle or 2, a blanket and a couple of toys and went shopping. DS1 loved the hustle and bustle, waited til he got cranky to stop and feed him and get myself a coffee, snuggled him in his blanket and just shopped. Bliss. Easy with one (believe it or not) almost impossible with 2 - I miss those days [smile). Funny thing was I always seemed to end up buying stuff for DS instead of me . Other options were the local park or the bigger garden center. I even went off exploring as he loved the car anyway.

The point is at that age, they are frustrated and bored too, I figured if I liked getting out seeing new things so would he. It seemed to work as we now have another ds...

THIS was the answer to all my problems. i used to love sitting cuddling my two dd's for hours when they were tiny but when i did need to put them down they would bloody scream blue murder!!!!

i am sure i started using this from around 5 months, they were both holding there heads up anyway (bit hazy now as my youngest is 4) but this really was worth its weight in gold!!!

because the chair bit swings round i could move them in whatever direction i was in and they could see me walking about. i would also put finger foods on the tray when they were a bit older and let them get on with it

Pamelat and Peggotty - I've got one of these too! 5 months yesterday and absolutely scrummy, but just commands attention all the time! Wants to sit, crawl, walk or ANYTHING other then lie or roll over which is all he currently does. Therefore once he's had his 'golden hour' first thing in the morning, he wants to be held and talked to all day. It's hard work and sometimes you just want out! Hang in there!

Get yourself a Bumbo. fantastic invention !!means they can sit before they actual can and you can place them anywhere where you are going to be.
Ds is 13 mths and started walking yesterday
Hes never been so happy !!

I'd second kerryk's recommendation, I bought ours secondhand and it has been thoroughly worth every last penny (loaned it to 3 other friends too)- really does keep them occupied for long enough for you to have a cup of tea/sort dinner out/have a telephone conversation/get 20 mins peace and quiet

I went through a similar phase a couple weeks ago (also when DD2 was 5 months). I would suggest taking her to your GP - find out if there is a lactose problem, because if there is that might be the reason why she is unsettled.

As suggested try going for walks, putting music or television on and see if anyone can help even if it for an hour or so.

I hope it gets better - my DD2 was really bad for a month and she has improved now, so I know how it feels.

Thanks all, a lactose problem was suggested but I tried changing her milk (she refused the new one) and tried colief - which helped for a bit.

Today she has been a bit happier if I put her down NAKED! She then weeed on all over me but thats fine, its better than never having any space (I only want 20 mins!)

I took her a long walk today and took her to the pub (!) for a cup of tea and she was happier.

I find myself just dreading her waking up in the day, which I then feel horrible about.

I have actually booked her in for an hour in a creche tomorrow (at the stupid cost of £5) BUT am treating myself to an hour and having a swim as husband not home until 10pm, it will seem a long long day otherwise. She has never been in a creche before, but she does love people.

I sometimes wonder whether she is just feisty ,rather than ill. GP's seem to guess at everything.

Am looking forward to her being able to sit up, wont be long now - a few weeks or so, she is getting stronger.

I have started giving her tastes of purees but the madam screams for more!!

Thank you, feel better today anyway and feel very lucky that I can use a creche for an hour tomorrow - wouldnt fancy paying that on a weekly basis though?!