AIBU to think some people really do outstay their welcome?

[Yourewelcome2026]

AIBU to think many people overstay their welcome and don’t seem able to read the room and know when to leave?

Example 1 - friends with young kids (4 & 2) over to visit. Arrived early afternoon. Still here at 7pm despite their kids clearly being over-tired & behaving badly for the last hour or so. I have DC myself and 7pm is bedtime! (They are fairly local so no they had not driven for hours to visit us or anything)

Example 2 - had a birthday party for DS at home. Said on the invite 11am - 1pm but people still here at 2pm. One young boy starts behaving badly (probably tired and over-stimulated) getting cross and very vocal at my DC over nothing. His parents still don’t take that as a prompt to leave and take him home.

Is it just me?!

Is there any reason you haven't said it's time to go now as I need to get DC to bed?

They only do it if you let them! You need to communicate quite bluntly with some people

Example 1: "well, it's been so lovely to see you all but we have some things to do this evening. Would you like some leftovers/biscuits to take home?"

Example 2: hand out the party bags and say "this is to take home"

Sounds like you need to do a better job of wrapping things up. If you can’t outright say it’s going home time then loads of other cues… Stopping the food and drinks, having the Spotify stop at the next song… my DP usually starts taking plates etc through to the kitchen…

Next time, 30 minutes before you want them to leave, say something like shall I make you a cup of tea before you head off?
Or something like it’s been lovely seeing you, sadly we have to do x or y or go to z at 2pm so I’ll need to chuck you out shortly.

Yanbu, one of my dc friends I don’t have over as much. His parents think nothing of it to turn up 45 min after everyone else has been collected ! they do this every single time. He’s an only child though, so I think they are just trying to keep him out of their hair.

Another friend- same with her two kids just always outstays her welcome. My two don’t really like the kids that much as the are always so badly behaved, so I see her outside of home. I think she got the hint now.

Surely you've told them it's time to leave now as you need to get on?

Yes, people do outstay their welcome. Arrive midday for lunch etc. Still there at 7.00 at night. It's exhausting. I have been told I am a very thoughtful host so maybe I need to makes things a bit more uncomfortable!!

Example 2 you wrap it up.

you start handing out party bags and saying ok It’s time to go home now.

example 1 I’d be less blunt but still making noises

Some people can’t read cues and you have to be blunt. I have long since got over my fastidiousness about this but it does piss me off that I have to.

My DP has an old friend who comes to stay a couple of times a year and she will invariably consume all of my Sunday chatting shit while I try to get on with the stuff I need to get done before work. I like her but I would like her a lot more if she knew when to fuck off.

By the time she finally leaves I have usually asked her to go three or four times. The older I get the more it annoys me when people are so disrespectful of other people’s time.

You're not wrong but those two examples are nothing compared to some I've experienced. I had one friend who was undiagnosed ND and he would literally sleep at your house for days until you actually practically physically got him out then parted ways outside. He'd then sometimes try and come back later?!

I've had people where I cooked them Xmas dinner and they stayed two weeks over festive period and they never once said thank you and I could not get them to leave easily!