Would you do this so your child could have private education?

[Thenea14]

Got 400k equity. We live in Derbyshire so there’s some expensive areas but some reasonable too. I’m on my own with dc but ex pays maintenance. He’s agreed to go halves on education. I can technically pay my share from income but it feel very stressful. If I move then obviously it makes it very manageable.

But… I’d be going from a large ish village house with big drive and garden (worth around 580k), spare bedrooms etc to basically a three or four bed that’s very basic and in a more built up area. Originally I was was sure about it and even went to look at places but the reality is now making me second guess. Is this a stupid thing to do?! What would you do? State Schools round here are not terrible but certainly not good either.

Which school were you thinking and which areas?

@Byron1990 as in which private school? If you meant that then it’s Repton (this is probably outing now 😅)

How many DCs do you have and what ages? I personally wouldn’t unless I had money to give house deposits and help at uni as well.

Then yes for Repton I would. For many it’s not worthwhile but it’s an excellent school

Would I move myself and my DC from a house I loved with space and a garden to a smaller unit in a built up area so that I could afford private education?

No.

@Byron1990 also looked at Denstone but not sure it has the same reputation?

I would do it, speaking as a primary school teacher who is married to a secondary teacher. Some, not all, state schools are really dire now.

We avoided private by moving to a location with outstanding state schools instead. You could do that if you prefer?

Boarding or day pupil? Sports bursary? Lovely school but very expensive and fees will only go up.

No.

@Overthebow only have one. Have got fund for house deposit although it’s not huge and will probably be more like a contribution than the full amount!

@Glittertwins day! I’d miss them too much!

The pastoral care and opportunities at Repton are fantastic. We are not at that stage yet but would definitely consider it. Could you compromise on the house and go for a lovely two bed cottage with character

What happens if your ex stops paying maintenance or his share of the fees?

@wafflesmgee thanks so much for your insight. Would you say also beneficial for primary?

Second @Glittertwins though the fees will only rise

@plims that wouldn’t be ideal and I would have to start using savings I suppose. He’s pushed for this though.

I’d be quite wary unless you can comfortably afford the fees yourself. My ex had offered to pay school fees, but then got married to a woman who really objected to him doing so. He eventually stopped contributing to them.

Not if you can afford it from your income as you say then no. Look what other savings you can make first. Maybe see how it is after a year, if it’s too much of a struggle then move

@roseymoira i feel like that would be really stressful though if I had to do it under panicked circumstances

I typed this and saw @plims say the exact same thing.

I wouldn't because you are relying on your ex to fund half and he could stop at any point. I have seen that happen when my friend's ex got a new wife and had decided that money was better spent on holidays and day to day living.

Fees are only going to increase year on year and it is a long commitment to fund the next 5 years. Personally I would use any money I had to provide a one to one tutor for my child if the local secondary schools were good.

I would not do it for private school, but I would do it and invest the funds for Uni tuition and/or a deposit for the DCs first home.

no I wouldn’t.

I would not do it if I was relying on an XH to pay half and continue to to pay all the way through. We had a tutor for our DCs to pick up what state didn’t cover for A levels.
I suspect we could have got a sports scholarship for one of ours but that would still not cover all of it (plus we have a second unlike OP).

I would

in general state primaries especially until year 3 are pretty much equivalent to private.
the good state primaries are close to the good preps.

if you are relying on your ex…. Well all sorts of things could change.

if you move into catchment for a good school you can move out and sell afterwards.

i wouldn’t do it at reception and I’d think hard at year 3.

secondary again some state secondaries are great and some are not and we certainly found some privates did not suit our kids.