Move to forever home but leaving amazing community

[Roulett]

We live in a 3 bed semi in a cul de sac. My daughter’s best friends live here and we have an idyllic life they play out every day. We have two children and the house is a bit cramped now - the third bedroom is very small, no space for wardrobes, not much room for toys. It’s defining to not unmanageable but it’s a squeeze.

we have come into some money and can afford our dream home in the town 3 miles away. Would be a lot more convenient for trains/ schools etc but leaving behind our lifestyle breaks my heart and I know our eldest won’t want to go. She wouldn’t need to move school or anything but she would lose her daily playing out with friends and I’d miss it too. Having said that I think long term she and her sister would benefit from more space and a town location. Where we are is semi rural and not great for teens. We have no family nearby and our neighbours have become our support network we are with them daily and in and out of each others houses I know some would hate it but we love it. I’m torn WWYD

I would stay. Friends are more important than a bigger house. Can you do a loft or side extension?

I'd go

Can you extend?

Save the money for a few year then move?

What's the rush to leave now? If nothing will change re: schools, and workplace etc, then stay put for now. Your money you have come into isn't going anywhere is it?

Don't stay just because you like your neighbours, and your children enjoy playing with neighbours children. There's no guarantee that they won't just up and leave at the drop of a hat if they want to/an opportunity arises.

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There’s no urgency, no. House feels cramped that’s all but no desperate urgency. Plot isn’t large enough for extension and it’s a new build with bedrooms in the “loft” so no opportunity to extend upwards.

Communities change. I grew up in a cul-de-sac of 10 houses. Over the years we went from being young families to older and the very diverse, but it has gone back to younger people now.
Could you extend your house to solve the space issue?

I do feel if it wasn’t for our daughters friends here though I would jump at the chance for a bigger home in a more convenient location

If you like it there then stay

If not, then go.

But it's only 3 miles away. My 2 DC had friends who were a car drive away.

How old are your DC? Perhaps this is a move in a few years time, when playing outside with other kids is less of a thing and they are old enough to catch the bus alone to visit their old friends.

They could stay in touch of course but it’s the spontaneous play I’m wondering if I’ll kick myself. At the moment they knock on each others doors and play together every day after school and weekends. It’s such a huge part of her life

I’d go. Friendships change over time anyway. If it’s going to last then it will last, especially as they’ll still see each other at school.
i’d be more negative if you were to move from the town more rural, as they get older being able to walk by themselves will become more important.

How old is your Dd?

Can you wait til she starts secondary, when friendships change and playing out stops.

And it would be better for new friendships to be close to the school ?

I'd stay until they finish primary school when personal space will become more important and friends in the same street less important.

That like gold dust OP. I would stay and just move in a few years when things might change. I would love to live somewhere like you describe.

I agree with others, hold off for now but put the money somewhere you won't fritter it away. There will be a very quick and natural shift once they begin secondary school. For now you could spend a tiny bit of the money getting some built in furniture which makes a huge difference in small bedrooms. Once they are teens they organise their social life by phone so it will be much easier.

It’s 4 years until she starts secondary and I worry she will become even more entrenched where she is and more resistant to moving

I'd pay so much money/ house compromise for that kind of community, it's my dream.

Could you spend some of the money on custom/built in storage to optimise your current home? Are there any layout tweaks or improvements that would help it work better? Would the kids actually choose bigger bedrooms over closer friends (not suggesting you actually asking them, just your impression)

I wouldn’t base my home on where a few friends live, if you can move quite close by (How many friends are we talking? Are they in her class at school?). How will you feel if they end up moving one day, and you’ve missed out on your dream house?

Why don't you just wait two or three years and see how you feel then? Or ask them how they feel about the possibility of moving and not living near friends? It's not as though they can't see their friends anymore.
Having said that, I would not move from a community I loved just for a bigger house. I think area is more important. But things can change - my youngest used to be really close and play spontaneously with his friend next door, except when his friend was 11 or so he stopped being interested and they drifted apart.

Also, I live in a house where the bedrooms are too small and that became a bigger issue when my children grew up and wanted bigger beds and massive desks.

Why would you throw all that away on the unknown?

It’s hard, but what if you decide to stay and your neighbours then upped and left?

if moving is the right thing you have to do it.

We live rurally and there are things about it we love and things we find difficult. We don’t really have neighbours though, so I can see the appeal of having neighbours you can rely on.

Also there are no transport options here for our kids as they get older, which will be difficult, so for tha reason I can see the appeal of town.

Wait a few years. We moved from a situation like this when I was 9 and I was devastated. Three years later I wouldn’t have cared.

I’d stay out until they’re leaving primary.