41 years old and never hosted Christmas...

[AliceAbsolum]

MIL has always done it, and doesn't mind. But she's 70 this year.

5 adults and one child

DH and I moved house to somewhere we could do it, we'd have to buy a new dining table though.

YABU - You should host this year and potentially take turns

YANBU - If she's fine with it carry on being looked after

You should offer, see what she says.

I’m lucky, we always travelled to parents or in-laws for Xmas but over the years as they got older we’d take on more and more of the cooking duty, until eventually we were basically doing all of it in their kitchen. It was a great apprenticeship! And made me laugh as well because I tried all sorts of alternative turkey timings and recipes over the years and the one that worked the very best was the one my MIL had written on a slip of paper that they’d been using for 50 years 🤣

Also, it’s a good idea to buy an expanding table so you can have it larger for hosting family gatherings but smaller for day to day if that suits better

You should always offer if you are able. Share the load (and the expense).

I'm 70 and I reckon I've hosted 47 Christmases and I am over it So ask your MIL if she'd like a break

As soon as we got out big house my mil handed over the batton! She was relieved not to have to carry on!

Ask your DH and your MIL.

It's not an issue to go to the ILs if that's how their family prefer things.

But also your DH should offer so as not to impose.

I am in my 50s and have never been able to host. None will travel to me.

So every second year, we travel to them and have Christmas lunch at DMILs (now DSIL next door cooks and asks us to bring some things) and Christmas dinner at my DPs (where the “DCs” are now the chefs which annoys DM greatly but she needs us to do it…it’s shared between a few of us).

in both cases, the DPs were well into their 70s before things started to change from the DMs doing it all.

I hosted my first Christmas at 33. Took a break for a few years, and have since hosted the last 2. I'm 41. I quite like doing it though, and am generally acknowledged as the best chef in the immediate family, which I quite like, as I know it annoys my irritating "know it all" BIL!

Test the water. My parents absolutely loved doing Christmas. They started meal planning as soon as the nights started drawing in in Autumn. They'd plan everything to the letter - not just Christmas lunch, but breakfast, evening buffet, food the day before/after, different for every meal, I could go on. They'd have been devastated if they couldn't do it one year. They were retired and Christmas planning was weirdly a big part of their Autumn life. I however would be delighted if I never had to host any type of meal, let alone a Christmas one, for the rest if my life.

You should offer to do it, and don’t mention the table to her (don’t want her to feel bad for adding expense). She might genuinly love doing it and want to carry on, or she might want to come help do it at yours. Deff your turn though

Ask your MIL. Maybe she likes doing it, my mum loved being the host until she was about 85!

I'm 52 and hosted 6.
Once I I heard Matt Tebbut say ' it's just Sunday lunch' it took all the stress away.

Ask them! My MIL absolutely loves hosting. It wouldn't have worked for us last year as we had a young baby. But could work better this year as we could have baby asleep upstairs and all the adults round to stay up late - otherwise I'll be going home early. Depends if my little niece and nephew are up this Christmas or not!

Anyway I took MIL into town for shopping and surprised her by paying for the fish for everyone, DH also dropped round a load of drinks before Christmas. They'll usually say no to offers of help so we planned these to make sure we could at least help with some of the expense.

46 never hosted and will probably never host as I'm the single one who lives in a small flat.

I did it for the first time last year at 46! We were waiting til we had a bigger house as our old house was quite small with a tiny kitchen. I loved it tbf, was great that the kids could just take their time and not have to rush off anywhere.

Yes you should offer

Our house and table is smaller than my parents but I host them and my brother at Christmas. Do the worry about the table, part of Christmas hosting sometimes is all cramming in; I ate sat on a toybox last year and one of the dcs were on some folding steps pulled up to the table

Do not ask them, Invite them to spend Christmas Day with you. You’ll know then if MIL wants a break.
Like the poster above, My favourite thing to do in November is to start planning my Christmas food. Writing lists, Menus, shopping lists, recipes.
I even go as far as stopping cooking roast dinners from October.
Can you tell i love Christmas.