to be annoyed that my MIL never lifts up my DS?

[Gateau]

She takes an interest in him (he's 14 months old and adorable) - but it's "from a distance". She hasn't picked him up in weeks and weeks and, while she said she couldn't wait to see him after her holiday, seemed to prefer to stand and gossip in the kichen with my DH than play or spend time with him.
My mum is quite the opposite- she can't get enough of him. She lifts him, feeds him, plays with him and sings to him. And that's a fact - it's not me just being partisan. But it winds me up that my MIL lives close to us and barely takes an interest and then is devastated and can't uderstand that I want us to move away and be nearer to my Mum who is brillinat with him. I miss her and I feel we are depriving her of our DS.
I have tried to reason things out - maybe my MIL isn't confident (partic because her husband is so good with my DS). But the way she is just winds me up.

Thanks for all your thoughts and advice everyone.
TBH there is more to my being upset about MIL's (non) actions. It annoys me that our MIL doesn't take a real interest in our DS yet she is so against our move that will bring us closer to my family. A big reason for moving closer to them is that I feel my DS is missing out on a lot of love, not only from my parents, but also his auntie, uncle, cousins - and wider family circle. Where we live now, he only has my ILS - that is it. The rest of the family are just not interested - that's the way it is. I know that's nobody's fault - that's just how it is.
Of course my MIL is going to be devastated about losing us, but she and my FIL are just so negative about it when the subject arises. They have not one good thing to say about it and we had a row about it the other night. They were quite aggressive towards me and I feel quite upset about it.
What I would like to say - and never would for fear of world three! is that I really miss the support from my family. And I feel my DS is missing out too.

gateau, is your mil worried about your dh moving further away? my mil sounds v similar to yours. she is kind of interested in the dcs (and is indeed better with ds1 now he is older) but really sees their weekly visits as a chance to talk to dp/ me about her interests and to get dp to do things for her round the house. i think she does rely on having us around to some extent esp as she is getting older, and i wonder if this could be behind your pil's negativity about your move?

fwiw in your shoes i think i would still move where i wanted to be. could you arrange to visit pil regularly?

Yes, she really doesn't want DH to move away - understandably so. We are moving to Ireland, so it's not just around the corner. But then it's not at the other end of the globe either. And we would see them, say every eight weeks or so - we have also said they are very welcome to come and stay whenever they want. MY MIl loves her holidays and doesn't mind going long-haul so I wouldn't see a 40 minute flight as much of a problem. They are close and I do understand she must be very upset.
But it's a choice we have made and I think it's now about time that they started to accept it.
The thing is, she's not that old - kind of mid-50s. And my FIL is nearly 60.
It's all getting so upsetting after the rown the other night - that I honestly feel like just upping sticks with my DS.

for you - sorry it is so upsetting.

x-post - that one was for gateau. but it applies to you too riven! how awful.

at Riven's MIL.

I'm sorry but I wouldn't let MIL play with the other DCs unless she treated them all equally. That is DISGUSTING behaviour. And YES I AM SHOUTING.

It is your MIL who has the disability, Riven. Foul. I was so when I read your post.

OMG riven if that was my mil I would stop her seeing any of my children how horriable

You are in a wheelchair and she says disabled people are better off dead and you let her in your house, poisoning your home with her horrific views?

I wouldn't let such a person near my kids in case their toxicity affected them. But I'm not you and as you say, you're used to it. You are clearly much stronger than me.

But I'm utterly appalled. She sounds like Dr. Mengele.

Has she got a bad back?

agree with winky riven. blimey. that your dh still wants her there.

Poor little dd. That's really vile behaviour.