AIBU to think cleaning takes a back seat with a baby?

[Thegoldenoriole]

I have a toddler and a Velcro 6mo who has to be held or in the carrier most of the day to stay happy. All contact naps, natch. Most days I just manage the very basics of cooking, dishes and laundry. On a good day, I can sometimes summon the energy to tidy away the toys and books, throw cushions and blankets back on the sofas etc. I do spray down the hob and worktop and put bleach round the toilets.

But actual cleaning? Mopping, vacuuming, dusting the skirting boards, cleaning the extractor fan type cleaning? Like when does that even happen? Unusually, we have this weekend clear so I’m planning a deep clean, but that will be the first time probably since Easter.

I often see people saying things along the lines of “my house isn’t tidy, but it is clean” and I just think that must be nonsense. Surely tidy comes before clean - how do you even begin to clean a messy house?

If you’re one of those people with a genuinely clean house and little kids, give me your secrets!

My babies are 20-27 and I've never cleaned an extractor fan.

😂

We do a power hour. Radio on, timer set, and we blast the cleaning.
Kiddo is older now but we have always done it. When he was a baby he was either in bed or in his bouncer.

I mean the skirting boards maybe get done once a year but the toilets, sinks and main areas are done weekly and we hoover.

I have a cleaner. The shame of her seeing the state of my house makes me blitz tidy the house every week before she comes 😂

A wise aul aunt said to me

"sleep when the baby sleeps, clean when the baby cleans"

I've stuck to that.

HTH 😉

Love it!

I think you can’t overestimate the value of a good cleaner tbh!

I would prioritise it quite highly over other expenses tbh

I am also completely bemused by how people can have clean but untidy homes. I have heard this claim a lot.

Maybe their idea of 'untidy' is like a few kids' toys out to put away at the end of the day or the odd cushion out of place... because what counts as 'untidy' in my mind is a situation where there is too much stuff / clutter around for good cleaning to be possible!

Yes, more thorough aspects of cleaning went out of the window for me when I was home with by baby and to be honest it sounds like you're doing more of the essentials than I managed (and I only had one!). So kudos to you! Some people are better at multitasking I guess, or at finding ways to do stuff with their baby strapped to them, or at finding that burst of energy during a stretch of time when the baby is asleep. Some people are also more committed to high standards than others. I wasn't one of those people. My kid, my marriage and my self-esteem all vaguely survived and it's so much easier now that my DD is old enough to entertain herself or join in properly.

Someone mentioned the 'power hour' though and I did find a shorter version of that helpful - more like a power 20/30 mins where we went round and blitzed what we could before collapsing. I think someone on mumsnet gave me the idea (goldmine of wonderfulness that it is).

What has led you to ask the question by the way? I hope you've not got anyone in your life judging you. I've noticed some people really like to do that, and it's been a bit of a journey for me to get to the point where I can (usually) rise above it.

The tidy not clean people I’d assume do a big clean and then no matter what happens mess wise the surfaces and floors under the mess are clean. Sigh. It’s my life goal- those ‘messy’ houses in ads that are so sparkling!!! I don’t think yabu op and will tell you when the kids were very young the only time the house was clean clean (I was better at it then hilariously, now I’ve 4 kids and a ft job and the place is the worst!!) it was from running myself ragged and pretty much neglecting the kids

I can honestly say I have never cleaned skirting boards unless very obvious signs of visible dirt . Everything at eye level is good enough. Kitchen and hallway get an occasional mop ,sitting room hoovered a couple of times a week.

Likewise OP. Mine are 4 and 2. We manage the kitchen benches, hoovering, quick wipe of loos/sinks, that's basically it. Occasionally I might have a blitz but it's short lived until a child needs me.
We've had a fortnightly cleaner since baby was a few months old, but let's be honest, fortnightly isn't it really enough, plus she is extremely flakey. I need to find a new cleaner but I don't have the headspace or time for it. It does feel nice to know the house is properly cleaned occasionally though!
I guess the 'clean but untidy' is easy to see with small children. Instantly the floor is mopped, they're getting toys out again. Tidy all the sitting room cushions to allow hoovering =kids are taking them to furnish a den in the bedroom. Once, cleaner was polishing the bifold doors, moving along, whilst toddler attempted to follow her creating sticky handprints. More dirt before she'd even finished! 🙈

I gave up on any type of deep clean and succumbed to just playing with the kids until they started school. They were happier and I was definitely happier not having to juggle everything :)

Goes without saying, it was a massive job though after 5 years of neglect :(

Easy with one kid, less easy with 2 (or 4 in our case!)

It depends-when I was on mat leave, I had enough time, but when you have 2 kids and are working-well, let's admit my house is far from perfect. We both try to clean as we go as much as possible, which helps.

I have a genuinely clean and sparking home. We have a cleaner though. Twice a WEEK for 8 hours per week. That is the level of clean I need to be happy. It’s a luxury I know but both dh and I prioritise that.
I also think that with young kids it’s impossible.

Same same same. It’s almost an essential to me lol.
The problem is, I go over to other peoples houses and notice how dirty it is!

I have two kids (1&3). I lightly clean the kitchen each morning while they eat breakfast (empty dishwasher, wipe sides, clear draining board etc) and then again after tea.

After they’ve gone to bed (normally by 7:30) I tidy up, hoover, mop, take the bins out & put the dishwasher on.

Bathrooms get a deep clean once a week while DH is with the kids and I just do light/as and when cleaning in between. Anything else that I notice gets done after the bathrooms.

Little and often, with one more focused session per week seems to work for me!

I picked jobs to do spread over a week and did them no idea how i just got it done

Bathroom once per two weeks bedding laundry daily... Don't iron no point!
Hoover once a week
Mop floors in high areas bathroom etc once a week
Pots bins cook daily
Food shop delivery whilst cleaning if needed
Kitchen tops and pots twice a day
If at home 24/7 can do if work get a cleaner and just do basics!

I mean even Marie Kondo gave up once she had kids so…

Power hour is a great idea. I think anything along the lines of set a timer and see how much you can get done feels less overwhelming. I just seem to have so little time between naps to do everything I need to get done without a baby yelling at me (now nap trapped again so on my phone!)

Ugh, I’d love a cleaner but it’s just not in the budget atm. Will be trying to rebuild finances after mat leave and getting all our windows replaced for quite a while… we’re not even going on holiday this year ☹️

No one’s said anything, the OP was prompted after I randomly took five minutes to actually clean the thick layer of grease off the top of the extractor fan (so gross!) yesterday afternoon and then spotted a warren of dust bunnies behind the bedroom door.

I think I grew up in actually quite a dirty house (three kids, myriad pets and my mum actively loathed cleaning) and my first job was au pairing with a family and the mum had to teach me how to properly clean, and although she was very nice about it I’ve always had this vague sense of shame paired with not actually being that bothered!

Ha yes I need to remember this!

I actually feel like I’d be ashamed to let a cleaner come over at the moment, even if we could afford it. Like it’s not that bad but it will be obvious some things haven’t been done for months or even since we moved in three years ago. Although we did get a deep clean then and at least we don’t have carpet.

It has never once occurred to me to clean an extractor fan or dust a skirting board. Mopping and vacuuming just gets done daily, only takes 5 minutes.