Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Big argument with work colleague - very long

23 replies

mixedmama · 23/06/2008 14:52

This is long but will try to condense, just need to vent.

End of April colleague and I both start together. We do the same job but it is job share. We had a two week training period, failry intensive as we were both new and would need to know everything before the other lady left.

It is a reception role with some basic admin.

The other lady had been away from work for 3.5 years bringing up her daughter and I have been on mat leave.

I appreciate that when you have been out for a period of time your skills will be a little rusty. But after our two weeks training I was left to train her as she had picked up nothing - and I mean nothing. I wont go into all the examples but she actually asked me if I knew you had to press the button to turn on the computer. Surely you dont forget how to turn on a computer.

Anyway, it has been an up hill struggle and we gave her two tasks which was basically taking data from one source to another and once she was 100 percent happy we would move on to the next thing. She didnt manage these. She constantly told me about her 15 years experience and how she had been out for 3.5 years. All of the time.

Back to the argument. We are only in the office for 1 hour at the same time for handover. It had been said to us that once we got to grips with the role each of us could come in a little later, leave a little earlier.

Occasionally I am 10-15 mins late when I take my DC to toddler group, but for the most part am on time or thereabouts.

Without fail she leave between 12.50 - 13.10 every single day. I cannot actually remember a day she was here till 13.30. But that is fine as handover does not take that long. The problem I have is that on a few occasions she has actually said I have to go I have an appointment at 13.30. now if 13.30 is your finish time (leaving early is not a guarentee) then why have you booked an appointment for that time. I have let it slide and not said anything as she finally realised this job was not for her and handed in her notice. This is her last week.

Today we are one person down in our team. I came in and she went off to complete one of these tasks and said she would do what she could in half an hour, so i asked why only half an hour, and she said she had an appointment, and I cant understand why if you have an appointment you dont let people know before hand. I have an appointment on Thurs but have told everyone well in advance that I may be late.

Then she comes up to me and says she didnt understand my problem so I (calmly) explained that it was the fact that she only mentioned it then. She then tells me it isnt an appointment but she can do it anytime and can stay till 1.30 and comments that I have been 10-15 mins late a few times.

I retaliate (calmy) with the fact that she leaves early every day normally by 12.50 to which she takes huge offence and her voice is very loud anyway and she then starts shouting at me, it quikcly becomes a no i dont, you do type argument which i explain i dont want to have and that this (reception) is not the time or place. She goes on and on when eventually I just ask her to hurry up and leave if she is leaving as i dont want to discuss it anymore. SHe refuses and tells me that she can take it further at which point i leave the reception and tell her that she is welcome to report it.

Now most people here are aware that i do all of the work as she is not able to do so and I now have to work with her till Firday and have managed to be pleasant to her up until now, but I really cannot keep up the pretence any longer.

I am not sure what I am asking interms of AIBU, but I am just needed to vent. Any advice how we get thru to friday with out any more confrontations.

I was actually shaking with anger when she left.

OP posts:
surprise · 23/06/2008 14:56

You poor thing - confrontation is horrible isn't it? It will probably be okay for the rest of the week - neither of you will want another row so it I imagine it will be frosty but bearable. And it's only for a few more days. Let's hope you get someone more reliable to work with next time!

mixedmama · 23/06/2008 15:00

I have called my manager and left her message to the effect that I really do not want to come in until it is time for her to go as I know I will not be able to tolerate her for even a minute more than absolutely necessary.

OP posts:
BouncingTurtle · 23/06/2008 15:05

Poor you! She sounds awful! Oh well at least you only have to put up her a week!
Please keep venting!
BTW - how are you and the lo? I seem to remember you from the Dec 07 AN thread?

mixedmama · 23/06/2008 15:12

Hi Bouncing - yes I was there... was on Dec and Jan and found it hard keeping up with both threads.... we are all fine, everything going semi according to plan... how are you doing

OP posts:
nkf · 23/06/2008 15:22

If it's a job share and likely to remain so, I think you have to work something out. Probably with help from your line manager.

Both of you have to stick to your correct times. Otherwise it becomes sloppy and nobody knows what is and isn't allowable.

But you can't ignore or get on badly with a job share partner.

Good luck sorting it out.

nkf · 23/06/2008 15:23

Oh, sorry. Scrap all that. I didn't read it properly. She's off so nothing to worry about. Best news.

DaDaDa · 23/06/2008 15:31

You might still want to be careful how much you complain about it if your job is remaining a job share after she's gone, your manager might decide one full time role is less hassle.

WinkyWinkola · 23/06/2008 15:36

A row is terrible and upsetting.

But aren't you both guilty of crap time keeping? And therefore neither of you really have a leg to stand on with regards this issue?

I don't know why either of you are getting away with making appointments that clash with your part time jobs. Does your manager know this is happening?

YABU in that you kept calm and tried to minimise the row but I'm not sure I would be terribly sympathetic to either of you if I were your manager but I can't bear poor time keeping.

WinkyWinkola · 23/06/2008 15:36

I meant YANBU in that you kept calm... . .

SlartyBartFast · 23/06/2008 15:41

she is probably gettihg it all off her chest since she is leaving, i always find once i am leaving a job i tend to get narky.. i hope you can resolve it, just think youwont have to see her agian pretty soon.

SlartyBartFast · 23/06/2008 15:43

you havent worked together veyr long have you
job sharing is notoriously difficult. deep breathes, and let it slide as you may encounter same/similar problems with next job share.

EffiePerine · 23/06/2008 15:45

if you're doing a job share, you NEED to make sure you are there on time. Really. In an emergency fine, but if it's a regular thing you need to sort it out.

cosima · 23/06/2008 15:45

go in apologise. YES I know, !! but she has probably been feeling quite inferior, cos its awful being crap at your job, and apologising will serve to make it bearable for you, she's had the good grace to hand her notice in to a job she's crap at. just let it end with no bad vibes and therefore hassle on either side. Sounds like everyone is backing you so it doesn't matter

Rocky12 · 23/06/2008 15:45

I manage a small team of 5 people. If I was your line manager I would be tempted to have one person full time instead of all this hassle. Job shares are still fairly unusual and I guess there is a reason for that......

ruddynorah · 23/06/2008 15:55

i work with a woman like your other half. only solution, after a year of trying to coax her, guide her, and shout at her a little, was to just let her mistakes and incompetencies show up. so instead of covering up for her and helping her, which is beyond my job description, i'd just leave her mistakes be. thankfully our senior manager has now started disciplinary measures with her.

you're lucky she's going this week. however, make sure you get off to a better start with your next other half.

BouncingTurtle · 23/06/2008 15:57

MM - we're fine, no sleep, no routine to speak off but ds is a happy little chap.
Hope your next job share is better...

mixedmama · 23/06/2008 16:45

I have been late perhaps 3 times and she has never left at 1.30 ever.... always 12.50 soemtimes 13.10. I think there is a huge difference between running late and making appointments to be somewhere when you havent finished work yet.

This job share is what the company wants as they have no one to cover lunch breaks. 12.30 - 13.30 is supposed to be handover.

I actually consistently said from the beginning that we should stop the conversation and she just would not let it go. I am willing to take any flack resulting from my part in it, but if she just left when I asked her to (and as she was planning to) it would not have gone on and on. I had to walk away from her int he end and she still followed me.

Also, she has said she is leaving for very different reasons and thinks that she is marvellous at her job. FWIW she is a good receptionist, just awful at the rest of it.

I just honestly am not sure how I am going to get thru the rest of the week, as altho I know I just need to rise above it, it would be awful if because of today she actually stays for the whole hour tomorrow.

I am (and I know it is wrong and stupid) the kind of person that once i have been peed off to such a degree I cant do pretence. I need to come in we need to handover and she needs to leave

In terms of apologising i know what you mean, the problem is I would apologise for anything that might have offended or something like that, but I was the only one not actually shouting, I was the only one saying lets not have this conversation and she was the one actually lying to my face about appointments and things. I dont want her to apologise either, i just want to come in hand over and her leave.... I dont want to spend any more time with her.

OP posts:
mixedmama · 23/06/2008 16:45

I have been late perhaps 3 times and she has never left at 1.30 ever.... always 12.50 soemtimes 13.10. I think there is a huge difference between running late and making appointments to be somewhere when you havent finished work yet.

This job share is what the company wants as they have no one to cover lunch breaks. 12.30 - 13.30 is supposed to be handover.

I actually consistently said from the beginning that we should stop the conversation and she just would not let it go. I am willing to take any flack resulting from my part in it, but if she just left when I asked her to (and as she was planning to) it would not have gone on and on. I had to walk away from her int he end and she still followed me.

Also, she has said she is leaving for very different reasons and thinks that she is marvellous at her job. FWIW she is a good receptionist, just awful at the rest of it.

I just honestly am not sure how I am going to get thru the rest of the week, as altho I know I just need to rise above it, it would be awful if because of today she actually stays for the whole hour tomorrow.

I am (and I know it is wrong and stupid) the kind of person that once i have been peed off to such a degree I cant do pretence. I need to come in we need to handover and she needs to leave

In terms of apologising i know what you mean, the problem is I would apologise for anything that might have offended or something like that, but I was the only one not actually shouting, I was the only one saying lets not have this conversation and she was the one actually lying to my face about appointments and things. I dont want her to apologise either, i just want to come in hand over and her leave.... I dont want to spend any more time with her.

OP posts:
mixedmama · 23/06/2008 16:45

whoops sorry

OP posts:
QueenyEisGotTheBall · 23/06/2008 17:25

i wouldnt spend too much time worrying about the other woman if i were you mixedmama. she is leaving soon and i would just say to myself every minute you are with her is one less until she is gone altogether
well done for keeping your cool as i certainly wouldnt have been able to!!
good luck with the next job sharer
xx ei xx

cosima · 24/06/2008 09:30

you must rise above it because that is what being professional is all about and you are and she's not. I'm sorry we had such a disagreement as your aboout to leave. I don't want you to leave on bad terms so i hope we can work the rest of the week without arguing.

Good luck for today. She might phone in sick anyway

mixedmama · 24/06/2008 09:39

You will never believe it, my son has been vommitting since this morning so i cant go in today.... sods law, so now it looks like i am being petty and making excuses.

You are all right tho, i do have to rise above it.

OP posts:
cosima · 24/06/2008 09:53

thats annoying, but anyway it doesn't matter cos she will feel relieved that you're not there probably

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread