AIBU to expect people to introduce each other?

[YeOlde]

When I was a child back in the 18th century, if, for example, you were out walking with a friend and you ran into someone you knew, you would always introduce your friend. It would be considered the height of rudeness to leave someone standing there not being able to “properly” participate in the conversation as they had not been introduced. There was also even a protocol for how you introduced them, which I always managed to get wrong. It was something like you’d introduce older people to younger people, and so on.
So I recently ran into a friend - she was with somebody else but she didn’t introduce this person, who then stood awkwardly waiting for us to finish. I feel like this is incredibly rude, but I acknowledge that it’s not the first time it has happened in the past few years, and maybe I’m just stuck in the 18th century.

I would always introduce people, maybe this person is just a bit rude?

Nothing worse than standing there like a lemon, i always introduce but have friends who don’t. It’s strange but I was brought up differently to them so must be that. 🤷‍♀️

Yes, I think it's usual to introduce people in that situation. "Sarah, this is my friend Jo; Jo, this is Sarah, my colleague'.

YANBU. But, in the situation you describe, I tend to forget people’s names, so I can’t introduce them.

One of the many many reasons that I got rid of my ex husband is that he had form for doing this. He would take me to an event at the rugby club, for instance, and leave me standing there like a lemon while he chatted away. We didn't go out very often so I would have been there to support him. His excuse was always - I couldn't remember their names. However he COULD, I assume, remember mine! So he could have just said 'this is my wife Dilemma', and then left them to introduce themselves. If I could have got half a word in edgewise I probably would have just introduced myself but it's very difficult when you are on the outside of a group of burly men with their backs to you. Plus, at that stage I didn't want to highlight his rudeness.

I always wonder about this. It seems common nowadays and yes, incredibly rude.

I have a degree of face blindness - not total but bad enough that it has caused many, many problems over my life - but I didn’t find out what it was until a few years ago, before that I didn’t realise what was wrong with me. If I’m out with a friend I’d always introduce them to the person I meet, but only if I could recognise the person and be 100% certain I could recall their name correctly. If it was someone who I couldn’t recognise (or even work out how I knew them) or recall their name then I had to to learn ways around this and that would be something like making sure the person I’m with introduces themselves first so in return the other person would then introduce themselves to my friend/family member/partner/whoever, which would obviously mean then that I knew who they were, although I still often can’t recall how I know someone or even if I actually know them or have met them several times, particularly bad for me in group/social/organisational settings. Often, even if it was someone I knew relatively well I’d still be unsure enough in my head as to whether I’d get their name wrong (I have often confused people’s names with each other when in group settings, enough so that it became noticeable to others - either I would be calling them the wrong name or I’d get the names of two people mixed up, and it did become incredibly embarrassing which then made me have to avoid certain settings). But as far as I can I will always try to find a way to have the two people introduced if I can. Before I even realised I had a problem - it started becoming noticeable increasingly maybe about three decades ago - I would dread running in to people when out with dc when young when I’d usually get a “who was that, mummy?”! I honestly thought I had a bad memory for people, yet I had a good memory for virtually everything else - sometimes almost photographic for learning etc.
So, yes, I’d always try to introduce someone if I could but usually I’d have to make sure I prompted the person I was with quickly, if I could - only very few people know I have this problem though, so it wouldn’t always work, but honestly it wouldn’t be rudeness from my end if I didn’t manage it, but then it would cause me an awful lot of discomfort to be in that particular situation.

I would assume that the person you met had had a moment of blankness and forgotten your a name.

I’ve voted Yabu purely because my DD’s bf castigated her the other day for not introducing her to two different people at an event. She had to admit that one of them she had no idea who they were and she couldn’t remember the name of the other one. I often meet people when out walking the dog and they stop to chat as if they know me. I then spend the next few days wracking my brain as to where I know their vaguely familiar face from

So I agree it’s polite but not always possible for the simplest of reasons.

I am terrible with names, sometimes people stop to chat and I cannot actually recall their name right away. On the flipside its ok to just introduce yourself surely? This is what i do, ill just reach out my hand and say 'hi lovely to meet you, im 'mamajong' and just join in.

That said i am pretty sociable, I had an introverted ex once, not his fault,but at social events he wanted to be by my side all night and 'helped' into conversations - if I got chatting at the bar getting drinks for example he would moan that he was sat by himself rather than just chatting to someone else nearby.

We are all different but I would highly recommend just saying hi and introducing yourself.

This uses to happen to me a lot, and in work people would talk to colleagues and then wouldn't introduce me. Now I put my hand out and introduce myself. 🤣

As a young ish person, I feel I haven’t been taught this!
What are the rules about introducing an older person to a younger person? Where can I learn this?

Did you say hello to the other person and introduce yourself?
Oh my goodness haven't seen you in ages, are you well? Sorry, hi, I'm Time, we know each other from that place we worked.

Arrgghhh - I get in this mess when I can’t remember someone’s name. My parents had a system for this, as my dad knew many many people from many different jobs/roles and often struggled to remember who all the people were. So if someone came up to them at an event or on the street and if he hadn’t introduced her within the first few sentences, she’d just stick her hand out and say “Hi, I’m Mary, John’s wife” and 9 times out of 10 the other person would then say their name and the context in which they knew my dad.

I really don't think this is a common thing!

Or something you need to be abiding by!

I would prefer it too and I do think people used to do it more (as in most of the time but now it seems more like half and half).

I had a boyfriend at uni who was the worst for this. We'd bump into someone he knew and he'd launch into a long animated conversation with them but not introduce me, in fact, would act like I wasn't there at all. It was so awkward, I would see the other person glance at me and smile as if in anticipation of an introduction but then look confused when the intro didn't come. I asked him once why he did it and he got all arsey and said I didn't need to meet his friends.

I don't think he was ashamed to be seen with me. If anything he was punching and was gutted when I dumped him. Just a total lack of manners I think.

I would always introduce someone. My family were very heavy on etiquette and this is one of the many things we were told. If I was with someone and they didn’t introduce me I’d introduce myself (if there was an appropriate way to do so)

In principle I agree it's awkward not to introduce people, but I've been in the excruciating situation of being with a friend and someone has approached us who clearly knew me, and tried to make friendly conversation, but I couldn't think who the fuck they were so couldn't introduce them
It turned out I did know them, but only casually, from occasional parties and pub trips etc. I am generally not good with faces.

Out of interest, what is the proper form for who you introduce to whom? I've got a vague idea that it's to do with who is the most 'important', which I guess in practice means who you know the best (so, say, your partner is more 'important' than a colleague who you know quite casually).

This thread has reminded me that I've also on more than one occasion 'introduced' myself to someone who it turned out I knew/had met already
Honestly, I should just keep my mouth shut

Yeah definitely, I’d just say a quick “oh this is Jane my friend from work” or whatever but I would also fully expect Jane to still feel awkward because that sort of scenario always is.

Introduce the lower status person to the higher-status person: ‘Professor Hanrahan, may I introduce my new PhD student, Mary Tilton.’ In work terms, that means introducing the junior to the more senior-ranked person. Socially, the younger person to the older. ‘Granny, this is my friend, Andy. Andy, this is my grandmother, X’ (using whatever form of address your grandmother would expect a younger person she’d just met to use, whether that’s Molly or Professor Hanrahan or whatever.’ If ages, seniority etc aren’t relevant, you introduce the less familiar to the more familiar person.

In the past, men were introduced to a woman,

I think someone has definitely said to me once, aren't you going to introduce me?
I didn't mind she wasn't being horrible or anything or saying it in a horrible way (she was my friend obviously)
But it prompted me to to say who they were! 😆

Thank you!!
you should run courses

It is a very easy and quick ice-breaker. Always introduce the younger person to the older person and give a brief sentence on how you know them or they know you. They then have an opener.
Mind you, it doesn't always work as planned. I was at a family wedding some years ago and was standing talking to my SIL when the groom's sister came up, introduced herself (fair enough) and then asked us how we knew the couple getting married (I had done a reading at the ceremony). I was somewhat taken aback, but my excellent SIL said "I am x, I am married to the bride's brother and this is y, who is the bride's sister." Clearly we were not interesting enough to strike up a conversation with, as groom's sister moved swiftly on.

I know exactly what you mean OP and I've thought the same. Often, if I'm the one left standing there, I'll eventually interject with 'Hi, I'm Jane from yoga.'

Like others, the only time I don't introduce is when I don't know 1 person well and have forgotten their name! I'll then fudge a 'This is Tina from golf and we (gesturing to other person) met dog walking'.