Spending ‘His’ bonus on the car

[Whyaretheytalkingaboutchristmasforgodsake]

Dh works Mon-Fri-8 hours
I work part time but do the majority of everything else.
I rarely spend on myself, not being a martyr about it, but any money we have after mortgage, bills, food etc tends to go on Dd, I’ve recently got us all new spring/summer clothes, Dd lots more than us. I don’t have hobbies and rarely drink, don’t do beauty treatments etc, my only spend on myself really is clothes and coffee out sometimes
I earn a bit less than Dh
Last month I worked a lot and was tired, Dh did too and got a bonus of £600.
We are in the middle of doing some things on the car which cost a fair bit.
We were both moaning a bit about it, how we could have had a little break etc, but it’s life. He was complaining that he was spending his bonus on the car when it should be spent on something on him as he worked so hard
I said the car was being paid for out of both of out wages and feel a bit pissed off that he would happily spend it all on himself, but my earned wages just go on everything else.
He spends money on his hobby, drinks and lunches out with friends (more than I do) He recently bought himself a smart watch, trainers etc. I just wouldn’t go out and buy myself a watch, should I just be doing the same? Is this a bit off or is it justified that it was his bonus so to spend as he wishes?

It’s not a waste as we needed, isn’t lots of things, a couple of t -shirts & shorts for Dh and a bit more for me (we live in a hot place so will need for the next six months)

Keep some money back for yourself. I always have. The amount varies depending on how much we have spare but I always pay some money into a savings account for me and some into a spending account for me.

Do you think it’s worth a chat with your husband OP? Sit and go through income and expenses and then decide what you’ll both have for yourself and what gets saved for other pots?

Get yourself a hobby.

You are being a martyr about it. Review exactly how much he spends on himself and his hobbies, set that same amount to one side to spend on yourself each month, then everything else is paid for out of the joint pot.

Get a hobby, have some treatments and treat yourself.

I don’t think anyone is saying you shouldn’t have bought them for yourself.

But it seems odd to buy them for him (did he ask for them?) and then begrudge him buying himself trainers and a watch.

hi op I think you need to be more selfish because your dh is he’s buying whatever he wants you will start to feel resentment do more for yourself not just the odd coffee because if you leave it to dh he will be spending it all on himself even if you take something for savings for a break away otherwise it’s going to get worse I keep my bonus if I’m lucky to get one but if it was a case of us both putting all of our money into one account then I would do this but I think you both should be benefiting from it.