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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think a birthday scratch card win was harmless fun?

154 replies

Fidbdfb · Today 16:30

It was my daughter’s birthday this week, and I got her a scratch card just for a bit of fun.

She ended up winning £100 from a £5 card.

I mentioned it to a friend, but she felt quite strongly that she’d never let her child do anything like that, as she sees it as gambling.

It felt a bit over the top to me, to me it was just a harmless bit of fun for a special occasion....

Is she being over top?

OP posts:
harderthanIexpected · Today 17:26

Tootiredforthis23 · Today 17:09

My mum puts one in everyone’s christmas stocking, including the grandkids who are all under 10. It’s harmless, the most they’ve ever won is £5, usually they just share what they’ve won and buy some sweets or something. It’s no big deal, just the same as how they would let us pick a horse for grand national or pick lottery numbers. Out of the 4 of us none of us gamble at all.

If one of my kids ever won the top prize, which is a really low chance so it’s never going to happen, obviously I’d put it into savings for them, I would have them split it with their siblings though, it’s literally just chance and it wouldn’t be fair to have one with 100k or whatever in savings.

I honestly think this is a really dangerous path to go down! Although it is vanishingly unlikely, I think it is asking an awful lot of siblings to reconcile themselves to one of them winning a genuinely life-changing sum of money based on the sheer luck of which card got popped in which stocking. I just wouldn't want to risk that within my own family.

We sometimes buy a scratchcard for everyone at Christmas etc, but we have a simple rule - winnings under £100 are kept by the lucky holder, and anything larger is viewed as being won by the group as a whole and so is split equally.

ETA - sorry, somehow I didn't read your post properly - I see that similar to what you do already!

Evilkineavel · Today 17:27

ThatsCute · Today 17:26

I take part in the school PTA raffle each month on standing order. The winners are published in the school newsletter. Should I cancel my standing order and tell the headteacher that we shouldn’t be encouraging gambling with the PTA?

You’re an adult - it’s not the school children doing the raffle.

Roselilly36 · Today 17:28

Lovely your daughter had a win, it’s a one off, I would say it’s fine.

BunnyLake · Today 17:28

Aleiha · Today 17:24

My DF sometimes buys scratch cards for all of his grandchildren. I hate it. It's giving them that buzz of excitement from gambling at too early an age. It's the wrong message for children whose brains are not fully developed.

I think it’s ok if it’s very occasionally. Weekly tickets would be a problem. Once a year on your birthday should be fine. Out of all the kids in holiday arcades only a fraction will grow up with a bad habit and they probably already, unknowingly, possess an addict gene so it could manifest anyway with something else.

Shelleyblueeyes · Today 17:29

Rubbleonthedouble2 · Today 16:44

13 is too young. I think traditionally you'd get scratch cards for an 18th birthday.

You are encouraging a child to gamble. I wouldn't do it, personally.

What if she'd won the jackpot? Would you confiscate £100k to pay off the mortgage or let her keep it?

I suspect you didn't think it through.

OMG I bet you're fun at parties.
😴

summitfever · Today 17:30

I’m fairly liberal but I wouldn’t do this. Gambling is one of the top root causes of suicide and especially winning big (by a kids perception) is a massive risk factor for addiction. Would you give her a line of coke? A joint? Or a shot of vodka for her birthday? Gambling is just as illegal because the harms are just as bad. Intermittent reinforcement is dangerous, she could end up chasing that feeling later in life. Call me dramatic but the data speaks for itself 🤷🏼‍♀️

ThatsCute · Today 17:30

What about Premium Bonds? No guarantee to win—you could get £0 or £1,000,000,000. My MIL buys PBs for the grandchildren.

summitfever · Today 17:30

@ThatsCute yes actually you should contact them and say just that

TreesinthePark · Today 17:31

Fidbdfb · Today 16:34

She is 13.

Edited

Definitely too young for gambling

Jeschara · Today 17:32

I would not bother what your friend thinks. As you said it was a bit of fun and a one off. I have done it myself.
It has not turned my adult kids into gamblers. Honestly not everything in life has to be serious, right, and perfect. Both my adult now children are very responsible citizens.

Wolfpa · Today 17:33

A bit of an overreaction but she thinks of it as gambling because it is.

ohyesido · Today 17:33

Troublein · Today 17:05

I don't think it's the end of the world, but I don't understand why you can't allow your child to be a child for the very few years she has left.

She has the rest of her life to do adult things, and so very few years to be a child.
Why are you teaching her that only adult things are fun?

You have positively reinforced the idea that fun comes from gambling as she has had a taste of winning this way.

Would you buy her a vibrator at her age?
I see it as an equally adult thing and I think you should leave adult things to adults.

The law has decided children should not be gambling, you are teaching her to flout the law for no real gain.

It's a little thing, but the breakdown of society starts with the little things.

If you have seen the state of our country, where the price for raping your little girl was recently set at £26 by a judge, you'd know this is not a society where it's safe to be a little girl already.

That’s quite a sick thing to say

Lavendersmell · Today 17:35

Never change, mumsnet. Never change 😂

LilacDrift · Today 17:40

I think this is one of the most ridiculous and po faced threads I've ever read on MN. And I've been here a long time.

Thatsanotherfinemess1 · Today 17:41

On dear, I actually buy the tag shaped lottery scratch card ones to put our families children's names on at Christmas instead of gift tags. They love them

RoseField1 · Today 17:42

FionnulaTheCooler · Today 16:32

How old is your daughter? If she's over the legal age to use scratchcards I don't see the odd one as an issue. People think nothing of playing the regular lottery every week.

There is a legal age to BUY them but not to scratch them!!

Aussiesgettingsmashed · Today 17:43

Troublein · Today 17:05

I don't think it's the end of the world, but I don't understand why you can't allow your child to be a child for the very few years she has left.

She has the rest of her life to do adult things, and so very few years to be a child.
Why are you teaching her that only adult things are fun?

You have positively reinforced the idea that fun comes from gambling as she has had a taste of winning this way.

Would you buy her a vibrator at her age?
I see it as an equally adult thing and I think you should leave adult things to adults.

The law has decided children should not be gambling, you are teaching her to flout the law for no real gain.

It's a little thing, but the breakdown of society starts with the little things.

If you have seen the state of our country, where the price for raping your little girl was recently set at £26 by a judge, you'd know this is not a society where it's safe to be a little girl already.

The first half of your comment has some merit. The second part is a bit bonkers.

TeddyWllowAndStorm · Today 17:49

My aunt used to send me a scratch card in my birthday card each year when I was a child. I often won a few pounds but I won £50 once. It’s just a bit of fun.

Your friend is free to make different choices for her child. Just ignore her.

billycat321 · Today 17:50

So your friend would never by a raffle ticket, then?

thisfilmisboring123 · Today 17:50

lornad00m · Today 17:14

I think it's illegal for anyone gifted a scratch card under 18 to redeem a prize if they win?

Show quote history

So she just doesn't tell them it was a gift to her daughter when she goes to collect the money?!

Some very dramatic replies on this thread.

I hardly think a scratchcard once a year is going to do much harm.

Jc2001 · Today 17:52

Fidbdfb · Today 16:30

It was my daughter’s birthday this week, and I got her a scratch card just for a bit of fun.

She ended up winning £100 from a £5 card.

I mentioned it to a friend, but she felt quite strongly that she’d never let her child do anything like that, as she sees it as gambling.

It felt a bit over the top to me, to me it was just a harmless bit of fun for a special occasion....

Is she being over top?

Well, she wasn't gambling because she didn't buy the card so she had nothing to lose.

Jc2001 · Today 17:54

FionnulaTheCooler · Today 16:32

How old is your daughter? If she's over the legal age to use scratchcards I don't see the odd one as an issue. People think nothing of playing the regular lottery every week.

There's no age limit for using scratch cards. The age limit is for buying them.

DeftGoldHedgehog · Today 17:54

I used to wait outside the betting shop while my grandad went in, we played cards for pennies at Christmas, National Lottery wasn't a thing but I remember rubbing off other scratchcards with a coin, we always picked a horse in the Grand National, and I've never been into gambling. What a melodramatic thread.

grey12 · Today 17:54

It is not allowed in some religions. Could that be the case?
I would suggest you have a nice talk with your daughter about the dangers of gambling. It ruins a lot of lives a lot of families

Moonnstarz · Today 18:03

My 10 and 11 year old love a scratch card for Christmas and birthdays!

Do people who condone it and say it's one step to gambling not allow their child to take part in any tombola or raffle activity, or bingo, or let their kids play on arcades on holiday?!

Also regarding the issue of siblings, surely the same issue applies to things like premium bonds. I don't see people kicking off about people buying those for their kids but the same issue could happen with one kid winning big and then the issue of whether it's their savings to keep or if they need to share it with siblings.