AIBU to want my husband home earlier to help with the children?

[ThisGiddyPeachFinch]

My husband gets home at around 8pm every night so he barely gets to see our kids before their bedtime & we can’t have dinner as a family. We both work “9-5” jobs but I have to leave work on time every day to do nursery pick up, dinner, bath, bed etc.
Part of me is jealous that he gets to work overtime when he needs to, whilst I have to just make the impossible happen. But mostly I’d just like him to come home and be present with the kids / help with life!
AIBU to want him home at 6.30??

Split the nursery pick ups 50:50

My ex was out early, back late then out doing flying lessons at the weekend.
Lives alone now, reap what you sow.

I had the same and did practically did all the baby/toddler dinnertime/bedtimes solo, DH is an Airline pilot so I didn't have a choice as he was away so much, it's easy now they're teenagers, I do feel for you as it's bloody hard work

Why do you have this setup?

It just depends on his job. If he’s senior in a large bank or corporate the working hours are long but you will benefit hugely from his higher salary. Could he arrange to leave work early one day a week?

Again, it’s the parenting time that’s important here, not leisure time.

Yep, as others state, the solution is to split pick up / drop off duties so that he gets his fair share (then work overtime on his pick up days a few times - see how he likes it)

Depends on whose job pays the bills and where overtime is expected from the employer - some jobs aren’t as flexible as others and they tend to be better paid ones

@BoredZelda If he earns plenty he cannot relinquish being the ATM. It’s probably not choice. My DH ran a business. He was a very good atm. Not a great hands on dad. But - I’d rather have the money. Buy in a cleaner or an evening nanny.

Is he just expected to work late? If he has to to keep his job then he has to. If it's entirely optional then you both have to decide if you value the extra money more than his extra time at home.

When DH and I both worked full time (both in ‘big’ jobs) we split the nursery runs. One would drop the other pick up. It meant that twice a week I went to work v early and twice a week I had the option to work late.

YANBU- I’m a housewife and my husband is expected home to eat dinner with us by 6pm at the latest, I definitely would not tolerate 8pm, and you work outside the home as well, so you are definitely not being unreasonable.

Bloody hell 🤣

Finding it difficult to understand why you don’t share nursery pickups anyway?

Again I disagree. In healthy relationships, joint decisions are made. Ours was that I'd be responsible for home and family and dh for funding it through his career. I was happy with that.

Thank you - in was trying to find the words to this post and you handled it excellently x

You can see you are losing the argument by your words?! Yours was a 'joint' decision - there's the HUGE difference.
No one minds your gardener, cook and feet masseur, you had a choice - and plenty of help. OP and a lot of us didnt/dont.

But the OP has made no such ‘decision’.

The op hasn't come back to answer any questions.

We have a street Christmas party every year. There is a pub in the street. One of the dads told me after a few beers that he and a few others went in most nights, and waited until bedroom and bathroom lights went off before they went home