Was I wrong to refuse doing something unethical and maybe illegal?

[Addfree]

I work on for a small business, as a contractor and have worked closely with them for a few years to a point they became my only client two years ago.

As I was successful in helping them make a lot of money, I was also given some equity so I own a very small % of the business.

The CEO has always been a problem for me. I find people easy to get on with at work, but he strikes me as not having integrity. Which makes me quite stressed and when I worked closely with him I found I got insomnia and anxiety.

Typical problematic behaviour = truth twisting, goalpost moving, gaslighting, trying to force ridiculous deadlines, playing people off against each other, not sticking with agreements. Very charming, affable, but just snake-like and reacts with rage if you dissent.

One particular problem was me is that he's always pushing boundaries of what is or isn't ethical in a way that makes me uncomfortable.

For example he might lie to thousands of clients in order to make more sales, or he might break terms of conditions of a supplier and say it doesn't matter because they won't find out. And he'd force me to go along with it.

I understand to a degree this is founder mentality, but as I'm a really ethical person that's uncomfortable with anything like this, I've taken a step back to avoid the stress he causes me.

Anyway, I was doing a project for them under really high pressure recently, and it was a project that involved financial services so everything about it was extremely highly regulated. Every word was scrutinised by experts for weeks.

The CEO wasn't really involved, but then at the 11th hour, the he tried to get me to change something that was going out to a million customers which broke significant FCA guidelines.

I explained calmly and patiently that we couldn't do that and he went absolutely mad at me - threats, insults, telling me I had no authority. I told him if he wanted to do it, he could, but that I didn't want to be involved.

To be clear = what he was asking me to do was definitely unethical, dishonest and probably also illegal. He was doing it when there was literally about 15 minutes before going to print and as mentioned dealing with him has already given me insomnia and anxiety.

But he's been very threatening. I'm on a retainer for example where I'm paid every month and I'm a single parent and he's threatened to stop paying me as a result of my refusal.

In terms of potential results, no I was not personally at risk (beyond Professional damage if it got out) but he was at risk along with the international project manager. Quite serious risk.

Professionally speaking was I in the wrong here? Are you meant to just follow orders even if you believe them to be unethical or even illegal?

I've got no money for lawyers, and because he's said he's stopping my retainer I'm really panicking.

Sounds really bad. You need to get a new plan. This guy sounds like a psychopath.

Just normal self assessment. I got no benefit out if it, it was just what they offered. I'd have much preferred the benefits of things like such leave or holiday pay!

No, I did not get the threat to stop paying me in writing. He did it by phone. I spoke to the CFO and COO about it and they told me that wouldn't happen.

I did get the entire exchange where he asked me to do the illegal thing and then flew into a rage when I would not comply in writing though.

No, the thing didn't happen.

For full context I was meant to be on a couple of days off for minor surgery. As mentioned I've had anxiety issues from work and was massively terrified about the surgery and feeling not at all well. So I was really not in a good place.

COO was managing this project and we'd had everything ready to go before I took the 2 days leave for the surgery. Then as I was recovering in bed, CEO started messaging me 15 minutes before the deadline telling me to change the text that had passed through legal compliance.

I calmly explained it wasn't legally compliant. He messaged back saying nobody would find out. I started having a huge panic attack because the deadline was now about 10 minutes and I was ill and being asked to do something I felt was morally indefensible and probably illegal.

Then from there he just started attacking me. Multiple calls, horrible text messages. It was so inappropriate and I was already feeling really ill. I asked the project leader what to do and he said CEO was wrong and to go ahead with the compliant version which is what I did.

I'm just shaken up and tearful and feel he's positioned me as insubordinate or difficult and I really don't think that's fair because what he was asking me to do wasn't right.

You need to whistleblow

Well done to you for standing your ground ! You were absolutely right and it seems you have the support of other senior leaders. It’s hard to stand up for yourself in the face of bullying like this so great job - even if it feels stressful. I’d agree that you could try looking for something else but being able to hold your ground is the right thing to do.

Who are they going to whistelblow to?

OP needs to protect their peace and find a new employment.

They are breaking the law by 'employing' you in this way.
IR35 is UK tax legislation designed to determine whether contractors working through intermediaries, such as personal service companies (PSCs), are effectively employees for tax purposes, with compliance responsibilities now largely falling on the client or employer.