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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask why it is that it is accepted that people can be naturally thin, but not naturally fat?

164 replies

MrsShawnHatosy · Today 08:39

Just that really. It seems to me that if one can be true so can the other. But fat is seen as something blameworthy, always.

OP posts:
CoudyWithAChanceOfCustard · Today 08:53

Are you really unable to work this out for yourself OP? And I say this as a fat woman! I am absolutely ‘blameworthy’ for being fat…because I eat too much. It’s my fault…nothing ‘natural’ about it!

Ablondiebutagoody · Today 08:55

One eats only what their body needs (or less) and the other eats more than their body needs. I'm not sure what you mean by natural.

Leavesandthings · Today 08:56

The BMI isn't perfect, but it does give a pretty broad range of healthy weight to allow for people's different body compositions.

50sandFabulous · Today 08:57

I would wager that 100% of the population would be slim if they didn't over eat. In times of war, when food is scarce, you will never see a fat person. I don't think there are many fat people in prison. I am overweight. I eat and drink too much. If I regulated myself, I would be a natural size 8-10. As it is, I'm a size 16. I need to diet!

emuloc · Today 08:57

I don't believe in either term, and I am very slim.

AnonymityAnonymity · Today 08:57

Well I'm quite old and certainly when I was young people seemed much more accepting of different body types.

Some people were described as " big boned" , which meant they were accepted as being naturally more thick set and heavier.
Of course in those days the food, not too long post war, was much simpler and I think people were naturally much more active in their day to day life, so it was quite rare to see someone, especially someone young, as very overweight.

The focus has now changed to mean slim is regarded as the new norm. Very slim the goal. And naturally heavy the person's own fault.

VaultandSinagain · Today 09:00

You can be naturally slim, not thin. “Thin” is very different, the same as “fat”. Neither is particularly “natural”.

chirrupybird · Today 09:01

You tend to find the 'naturally' thin don't eat too much and get a lot of exercise. The idea that a naturally thin person could eat as much as a similar sized fat person and not put on weight is false.

I do think some people just naturally have a smaller appetite so it is easier to not eat too much, but that could be chickens and eggs, if you eat too much you then feel hungry when you try to eat less, if you don't eat too much anyway you don't get that need to eat more to feel satisfied.

FinchiePink · Today 09:03

I suspect if we were living "naturally" i.e. in tribes, hunting and foraging, there wouldn't be many - if any - overweight individuals.

If you're over- or under-weight then something somewhere is going wrong.

It's rare to see an overweight mammal living naturally in the wild, and underweight individuals don't have great survival chances.

youalright · Today 09:04

Yanbu i eat a lot less now then ive ever eaten but am fatter then ive ever been. I use to eat loads of crap and just never gained weight. Then I got hypothyroidism, started taking steroids and antipsychotics and got older (late 30s) now I have to eat less then 1000 calories a day to lose weight. 1000- 1200 I stay the same anything over 1200 I gain. Yet 15/20 years ago I would be eating takeaways all the time share bags of crisps to myself, tubs of ben and jerrys to myself a whole pack of biscuits to myself and 3 sometimes 4 meals a day. I use to put cheese and full fat mayo on everything and no matter what I did i never gained weight.

JacknDiane · Today 09:07

I think the op just means why are people accepted being slim byt not accepted being fat?

Some people are fat naturally. Saying they eat too much maybe is wrong.
We never see a slim person and say they dont eat enough.

I guess the op means why cant people feel accepted whatever size they are.

SaffronsMadAboutMe · Today 09:07

Ablondiebutagoody · Today 08:55

One eats only what their body needs (or less) and the other eats more than their body needs. I'm not sure what you mean by natural.

This pretty much sums it up.

Diggad · Today 09:09

I’ve seen skinny people eat a lot and their body burns it up. I’ve never seen a genuine fat person eat the correct amount of food and keep on getting fat. They are overeating

SaffronsMadAboutMe · Today 09:09

JacknDiane · Today 09:07

I think the op just means why are people accepted being slim byt not accepted being fat?

Some people are fat naturally. Saying they eat too much maybe is wrong.
We never see a slim person and say they dont eat enough.

I guess the op means why cant people feel accepted whatever size they are.

We never see a slim person and say they dont eat enough.

WTAF? 🤣

Have you never seen threads about Kate Middleton, Victoria Beckham and lots of various different models?

"Pushing a lettuce leaf around a plate" comes up time and again.

EarlofShrewsbury · Today 09:10

I think I understand what you are saying.

Some people seem to eat what they want, when they want, and never change size.

Then others seem to really really try and can't shift extra weight.

I think there is some truth in what you say, due to varying metabolism.

But, I think when it comes down to it calories consumed vs calories burned is the overriding factor.

I think when people are called 'naturally slim' it means more that they have an appetite that is in line with what is acceptable than a natural slimness.

VaultandSinagain · Today 09:11

JacknDiane · Today 09:07

I think the op just means why are people accepted being slim byt not accepted being fat?

Some people are fat naturally. Saying they eat too much maybe is wrong.
We never see a slim person and say they dont eat enough.

I guess the op means why cant people feel accepted whatever size they are.

A slim person is a natural weight.
“Fat” is above the limit, just as “thin” is below it.

TheStepboardisfullofbitteroddos · Today 09:12

You can be naturally broad or bigger framed but fat is active overeating. It's not a natural state. Inhibits ability to move.

Monzo1ss · Today 09:12

I don’t see that as true. In the fitness industry, there are widely accepted categories for bodies, which are predisposed to looking a certain way. I’m a mesomorph for example.

Of course beyond those genetic traits, people can be “naturally” fat. If you are lax with nutrition and exercise and aren’t active, it follows that you will be unlikely to have a nice physique without serious effort. Likewise, naturally slim people do tend to have habits that support their physique, even if that’s just being on their feet more.

For me, I gained weight in the last year, however I was also heavily going to the gym beforehand. My muscle mass was about 80%. So fast forward a year and my body is still toned, my underlying muscle mass hasn’t changed. So it’s allowed me to still look slimmer at a heavier weight. But that’s just due to my natural body type being predisposed to gain muscle. Even when I’m slim/BMI 20, my legs are never truly skinny as I build mass in my quads etc easily. I don’t think I’d ever have super slim legs unless I was bed bound for a while, because even just walking tops up the muscle mass in my legs.

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · Today 09:16

I absolutely believe that people have different appetites driven by their metabolism. I have gone from being someone who was always very hungry and rarely full, to someone who now can only eat a small amount occasionally. That’s been achieved through intermittent fasting initially and then the use of GLP-1s (low dose). We laugh that I used to eat out of bins (true story) and yet now I don’t eat.

I am literally a walking example of the same person, same willpower and motivations literally changing their eating through fasting and then medication.

BippityBopper · Today 09:18

youalright · Today 09:04

Yanbu i eat a lot less now then ive ever eaten but am fatter then ive ever been. I use to eat loads of crap and just never gained weight. Then I got hypothyroidism, started taking steroids and antipsychotics and got older (late 30s) now I have to eat less then 1000 calories a day to lose weight. 1000- 1200 I stay the same anything over 1200 I gain. Yet 15/20 years ago I would be eating takeaways all the time share bags of crisps to myself, tubs of ben and jerrys to myself a whole pack of biscuits to myself and 3 sometimes 4 meals a day. I use to put cheese and full fat mayo on everything and no matter what I did i never gained weight.

You were probably burning calories at a faster rate. When I was younger, I too ate so much junk and never piled on the weight. But I also couldn't drive at the time, so had to walk quite a lot. School days would involve lugging a heavy school bag around, getting loads of steps in just from walking to different parts of my school for my lessons - walking from the science block to English, then over to another building for maths, etc.

You don't notice how much excercise you're getting when it's woven into your day.

Presently, I work mainly from home where I am very sedentary. I also drive so no need to walk to a bus stop, etc. I really have to consciously excercise. I am no longer a size 6-8 like I was in my teens and early twenties. You could argue that I'm "naturally" fatter now, but it's mostly down to lifestyle change.

DustyMaiden · Today 09:19

I eat 1200 calories each day. Walk 10000 steps I’m very fat. DH eats whatever he wants. 12 biscuits cake and custard . He doesn’t gain weight.

Loubissou · Today 09:19

JacknDiane · Today 09:07

I think the op just means why are people accepted being slim byt not accepted being fat?

Some people are fat naturally. Saying they eat too much maybe is wrong.
We never see a slim person and say they dont eat enough.

I guess the op means why cant people feel accepted whatever size they are.

We never see a slim person and say they dont eat enough

WTF? Slim women are always being told to eat up or they will waste away. Or told they are orthorexic for having portion control. Or to go eat a chocolate bar. Or, or, or. It is relentless.

raisinglittlepeople12 · Today 09:22

Some people put on fat more easily, sure, but it’s very hard to be fat if you eat appropriately and exercise sufficiently. I think generally we hugely overestimate how much food we need to consume.

RockinCara · Today 09:23

People can have different metabolisms and body types naturally- like comparing a Labrador to a whippet. My husband is underweight and really struggles to get weight on. But he has a medical condition that makes it difficult. I love to eat and struggle stopping - so I have a tendency to put weight on easily. But me being fat and him being thin are directly related to what we actually eat.

napody · Today 09:23

youalright · Today 09:04

Yanbu i eat a lot less now then ive ever eaten but am fatter then ive ever been. I use to eat loads of crap and just never gained weight. Then I got hypothyroidism, started taking steroids and antipsychotics and got older (late 30s) now I have to eat less then 1000 calories a day to lose weight. 1000- 1200 I stay the same anything over 1200 I gain. Yet 15/20 years ago I would be eating takeaways all the time share bags of crisps to myself, tubs of ben and jerrys to myself a whole pack of biscuits to myself and 3 sometimes 4 meals a day. I use to put cheese and full fat mayo on everything and no matter what I did i never gained weight.

But that doesn't support OPs point as you're not 'naturally' fat - it's a common side effect of antipsychotics. It's probably unavoidable for your situation, but still not 'natural'- you said yourself it's a big change from your natural weight pattern.