AIBU to think the parents should have stopped their children?

[Ayla1991]

Just want some perspective on this situation.
Currently on holiday and I was in the kids pool with my DD4 (very friendly girl and always wants to make friends). There was a boy around 10 who was being kind to my DD helping her and offering her toys etc and just generally seemed like a lovely boy. I also think he suffered from some kind of physical disability and I only mention this as I think it may have changed how he reacted to the situation, I hope it didn’t change my reaction.

after a while 3 younger children got into the pool, all around ages 3-7 maybe. They were squirting all the other kids in the pool with a squirt gun for a while including the babies. Eventually they all turned on the boy I mentioned above who was by himself, parents not nearby. I could see the boy was uncomfortable with this and at some points it got a bit aggressive and went on for a good 5 mins or more. He hid under the water and was trying to get away. I asked him if he was ok and if he wanted them to stop but he said it was fine. It clearly wasn’t. I loudly said to my husband “are these parents going to do nothing while their children behave like this?” And looked at the parents while I said this. They eventually told their kids to stop after I did this but it was too late.

the boy got upset and left the pool. I was about to walk over to the parents and just calmly say please in future keep an eye on your kids in the pool because what they just did was not nice. That boy deserves an apology.

My husband stopped me and told me not to cause a scene by the kids pool. But I really felt strongly that boy was being bullied by those kids and we all stood by and did nothing. Or am I being unreasonable and making a big deal of nothing? Should I have said something to the parents? It upset me a lot and I feel very strongly about things like this and that parents should keep an eye on their kids when they’re playing in these situations

I think YWBU to let it go on for so long, and I think YWBU to not just ask the dc who were spraying others with their water guns to only spray each other. That would have been the sensible thing to do, the minute they started spraying people. Not allowing it to continue for 5 mins then making passive aggressive comments.

YWNBU to intervene, but completely pointless raking it up afterwards when you (and everyone else there) just let it happen.

I have no issue speaking with the kids directly if the parents don't. I don't shout at them, I just make them aware that what they think is funny isn't to others and ask them to stop.

I don't care if the parents act outraged that I took the initiative when they should have. I know the other parents agree.

It's not being childish, it's being exasperated that parents are sat there doing nothing to kids bullying another kid! I guess you would side with your kids if they were bullying someone becatyiu don't approve of the OP helping the poor targeted kid.

I’d just have told the children off myself.

Are you absolutely sure the boy wasn't enjoying it?

Was he telling them to stop?

Hiding under the water rather than getting out of the pool, may have meant he was playing along?

Me too.

If I was sure the boy was unhappy, a simple "OK, stop now please" would've been enough.

Me too. I have no problem telling kids to pack it in if their parents don't. 💁🏻‍♀️

Let's be honest, too many kids have malicious intentions these days, I see the all the posts on the community pages avoid all the delinquent behaviour that's gone over the half term holidays. Discipline your kids rather than defending their behaviours because otherwise they become societies problem! Ganging up on a kid is wrong in any decent person's book! Jesus I went on these sorts of holidays as a kid and you maybe shyly said hello and started playing together, kids never bullied other kids in the pool! Lack of discipline causes so many issues!

I would've just said something to them. Though where were the boys parents? They should be supervising too.

So has something bizarre happened in the water around 2015? Or do you think that the Facebook groups just encourage and perpetuate posts like that?

Of course, bullying does happen but I wouldn’t jump straight to that assumption. I’d say far more likely that they’re away, boundaries have perhaps been relaxed combined with children being silly and overexcited.

Absolutely correct to step in and tell them to stop. Absolutely wrong (IMO) to confrontationally and aggressively start a row poolside!

The parents definitely should have stopped them. I would have told them to stop myself rather than the comment you made to your husband.

You did what you thought was right to save the boy - you noticed he'd been trying to hide under the water and you'd suspected he had a disability - thank goodness you were there paying attention - no sign of another responsible parent, no lifeguard. Stuff what other's think - besides looking out for the boy who'd been kind to your daughter earlier, you were showing them all what's right and what isn't, and your daughter was watching you. Children notice things from a young age - yes mummy shouted but she was trying to keep everyone safe when no-one else was bothered.

I would have done the same x

The kids were young and when they all get together all sense goes out the window, so I don’t think it was deliberate bullying. However, the parents were totally to blame. They should have stepped in and if they don’t their children will never learn how to behave.

thank you. The reason I didn’t tell the children directly was because when I asked him if he was ok he said he was and I didn’t want to make a fuss. It was only after he left I wanted to speak to the parents but I should have probably said something at the time and showed my daughter as you said.

Today there was a different kid in the pool who kept hitting all the other kids including my DD so I intervened and told him to stop every time. Eventually it got too much so I told his grandparents “can you please tell him to stop? He keeps doing it to every kid and it’s really not nice”. They did tell him off but I actually saw them laughing once. I’m just shocked at how some people let their children behave! In hindsight I probably should have been a bit firmer!

You were lucky that the parents didnt turn round and say to you rhat their kids were doing nothing wrong and were just enjoying themselves.

You know they were on holiday.

Very common English reponse in my experience.

Hotel pools usually have a Rules Notice Board nearby.

You did the right thing by speaking up and looking after that young vulnerable boy.

Well Done.

You should have addressed it there & then by asking the kids to stop squirting him as it was upsetting him. If they hadn't off stopped that's when you have a word with the parents letting them know what's happened & asking them to have a word with their kids. Some parents don't actually parent while on holiday. They're there to have a break & relax & think they don't need to parent the kids coz they're on holiday.