AIBU to keep my camera off after having facial filler?

[SunshineOnIslington]

I've been having Botox for a few years now and am totally open about it if it comes up in conversation or if anyone says I look younger than my age (40). However later today I'm having filler for the first time as well - lips and nasolabial folds. Although I've asked for the smallest amount possible as I want it to be subtle, I know that I will end up with bruising and swelling. My skin bruises really easily so usually have a couple of small ones at the injection site after Botox. Obviously though swelling would be more obvious and I can't hide the bruising with makeup in the first 24 hours.

I WFH the majority of the time and deliberately booked it for a day where I had no meetings tomorrow... except that now a couple have been put in my diary and I'm a bit conscious of the bruising/swelling being noticeable on camera. The meeting is with people I know fairly well so I don't know if I should just admit why I look that way, or to pretend my wi-fi is playing up and turn off my camera!

Silly thing to be worried about but I already feel like I'm judged at work due to my appearance.

AIBU - yes you are, just own it and own up
AINBU - no, just keep the camera off

Just join the meeting with camera on. You don’t have to explain anything. If they ask be honest but really it’s nothing to do with them

Since you're so open about it, I'd keep the camera on.

But obviously the decision is yours.

Camera off if you can't cancel the call; the swelling after filler looks so bad in the first 24 hours. Tell them it's network issues if anyone queries, just because you're open about work done doesn't mean it needs to be a topic of discussion at work.

Have you checked out your image? Mine offers filters of varying kinds, making it a bit less harsh! Try moving the camera a bit further away, wearing ‘reading glasses’ etc to distract.
I’m assuming you can’t wear make up yet?

You may not bruise and swell as much as you think, especially if having minimal amounts. I’ve just had some cheek filler and also nasolabial folds done and had minimal bruising/swelling. I also bruise like a peach normally! Apparently if done with a cannula there is much less trauma to the skin. Maybe ask if this is the way it’s done?

Definitely keep it off. 8 years ago I had half a ml injected in my lips, I looked like something off the Kenny Everett show for first 24 hours.

I’m sorry you feel they’re judging your appearance, that’s really shitty - I’m sure you look like a perfectly normal human

Teams has a smoothing filter that might help? But yeah the old “omg what’s wrong with my WiFi today it’s so slow! Sorry all, I have to stick with camera off for now” is what I would do.

I’d just put concealer on and sit back from the camera

I can't wear makeup for the first 24 hours...

From the OP

"Obviously though swelling would be more obvious and I can't hide the bruising with makeup in the first 24 hours."

Oh sorry I didn’t spot that

If it's normally expected to have the camera on, I would leave the camera off but acknowledge it. It can just be a vague "camera issues" but feels less like you're trying to get away with having the camera off and hope nobody notices.

It’s your face and u don’t need to explain a thing to anybody .

Anyone askes, bee stung you, walked into a door or just be honest you seem quite open about it it’s not a taboo subject.

Just use concealer. No one will notice on camera

No-one should be judging you at work for your appearance, that's the real issue here.

I think a lot of it is me worrying about how other people perceive me, it's not just at work. I would describe myself as fairly glamorous (weekly blow dry, acrylic nails, eyelash extensions) I'm slim and make a lot of effort with my clothes, etc. Plus I've had a boob job (not that my colleagues would know that). I like to think I keep things classy though! But that couple with the fact I look young for my age sometimes leads people to think I'm some sort of useless bimbo when in fact I've got a professional career (that I know I'm good at) and spent seven years at uni to get there.

If I were you I'd have the folds and lips done separately. Together and with initial swelling the change will be very hard to miss, possibly for a week or more. Personally I think keeping your camera off is rude and unfair to the people you're meeting with and draws more attention if it's not usual for you.

I didn’t really bruise or swell enough for anyone to notice so it may not be too bad.

It doesn’t actually sound like anyone is judging you at work, it sounds like you’re judging yourself.
If you’re usually required to have the camera on for meetings then YABU to turn it off for this reason. That said if anyone does notice you don’t have to explain yourself if you don’t want to

Please be careful with filler. I had a late onset reaction and half my face blew up. I then had to have it dissolved over many months of pain and swelling.
it's not like botox. It's literally have lumps and shite injected into your face and then expecting them to stay in the right place. There is nothing to stop filler migrating.

Anyone who takes part in a zoom/teams meeting without their camera on is an ill-mannered shite.

Why didn’t you book the apr for a Friday so you had the weekend to recover?

It's obvious to most folk when people have had botox and fillers. People will have perceptions of you anyway and it's not something you can control. Most people will see the bruising recognise its probably from a botox or filler injection and not be rude enough to enquire during a meeting. You're open about it anyway. Just own it.

I have two jobs and my weekend one is in a pub where I'd have to be in front of strangers all day 😂