AIBU to feel uneasy about my husband having AI companion apps?

[AnotherThing2390]

DH is not secretive with his phone at all. I know his passcode and if I ever needed to use it as one of the children had mine he would always pass it to me.

All that said a few weeks ago I was trying to find the Google app on his phone - he’s got several pages of apps so I was flicking through them. I came across two apps’ one chai and the other lovely minds. I’ve googled these and both seem to be the same type of thing and can be used in various ways (I think) to create gaming characters, to make friends and or to create a fantasy partner - which for me would be crossing a boundary. I plan to ask him exactly what they are and how he’s using them. First, is there anyone who actually uses these and can tell me exactly what they are so I can be knowledgeable when I confront him.

I feel annoyed by these apps AIBU?

Tbh if I discovered my partner was resorting to using Ai companion apps I would be concerned about what was going on in his life and what he felt was lacking in it that he felt the need to.

When someone prefers to interact with Ai rather than humans I would regard it as problematic and potentially really negative for their real life partner and family.

Thank you for your reply. I completely agree. The problem I have - I think the app’ has multiple purposes. I don’t want to confront him and him to say “oh I use it for gaming” (or another absolutely fine reason) and I don’t actually know if it can be used like that. Also slightly confused as he isn’t secretive with his phone.

I want full knowledge of exactly what the app’ is before I ask him so I know exactly what I’m talking about. Im hoping someone on here knows more.

Both ate known for 18+ usage, there's better gaming apps, my autistic, gaming DD uses AI. But, as said, I'd want to know what he feels is missing that he wants to use these. Are you under pressure that he doesn't want to burden you with work stuff etc? It's said that men (or women) shouldn't demand sex and can sort themselves out, but when men do, that's wrong as well.

Thanks for your reply. We have three young children so I wondered if it was a pressure thing but without knowing more about the app it’s impossible to know. I wonder if messages disappear because if I ask him and he lies and messages disappear then I’ll never know

My sister chats to one of the AI apps a lot about her feelings. I find it odd. She has me and her lovely friends to chat to! But she uses it because she knows she can get into a spiral and that going down that isn’t the best use of her time with friends/sister, and she can get good results from it in terms of grounding conversation (well, “conversation”). Could there be an element of that in his usage, I.e. it’s not anything he couldn’t get from you/friends etc but he just likes to have it there for boring/repetitive things he doesn’t want to use others’ time on?

I’ve never heard any of them so I know this isn’t as helpful as someone who knows what those specific apps do! Hopefully someone will be along soon.

Never heard of these apps but on the basis your husband is happy for you to have access I wouldn't think that there's any cause for concern. I'd be careful how you phrase your questions.

Well according to google, Chai is popular because it is uncensored, allowing unrestricted adult content. Doesn’t look so innocent in my eyes.

Big red flag - yours, not his

Before I confront him

Ffs, talk to him, ask him what they are and how/why he uses them in a spirit of interest and openness.

Then, and only then, start making up your mind about whether he's guilty of something