AIBU to prefer women-only changing rooms over unisex ones?

[Ikeasucks]

there’s been a lot of palaver the past few days over unisex changing rooms - especially M&S and I’m truly curious to get a wide view from women. Aibu to prefer the old style female option staffed by female employees over unisex and perhaps staffed by male employees which could mean having to redress to open the door and ask for help - be it awkward zips, different sizes etc - or just to be able to go out and check myself out in the bigger mirrors without men possibly being present.

Yanbu. I hate unisex. As a competitive swimmer and a swimming teacher I use changing rooms in a leisure centre every single day. I love the camaraderie in a single sex open change, women just chat away to random strangers, I’ve had some great chats. All removed to be cramped in to enclosed sweaty claustrophobic cubicles, at the demands of men who wants access to girls. It’s literally insane.

I dislike changing rooms with flappy curtains. I feel really vulnerable, and particularly exposed.

Has no one ever got stuck in an item of clothing?! Mortifying if you need to ask for help. And there’s no way I would if there were a male staff member. Though I would ask a random woman in the cubicle next door!

In a shop changing room with doors or curtains, I don't really care. However my DH and DS won't use unisex ones if there is a woman in there. It makes them very uncomfortable.
A changing room for a gym or pool where I might have a shower, thats a whole different thing.

Like others have said an enclosed cubicle where it's floor to ceiling I couldn't care less. I was in M&S changing rooms at the weekend and was impressed by them. Lots of mirrors in the cubicle so you can see all angles, floor to ceiling cubicles, no big gaps anywhere, I don't care if they are unisex.

I don't care at all and I don't think I have ever seen women only changing rooms.

I would love more lockable cubicles. It's such a palaver for anyone taking an opposite-sex child (or even older person needing assistance) swimming or shopping. Am sure there's a way to accommodate both situations with a bit of thought behind it though.

I personally cannot stand changing in front of strangers and have never had a conversation with a stranger while undressing. But I've also never asked a random teenager working the store changing room for help with a zipper, wouldn't even occur to me. If i can't get the clothes on and off myself then they are probably a bad choice!

My daughter changes around her dance team regularly but they've all perfected methods for changing super quickly while showing absolutely nothing.

I've often gone in to the public areas to look in the bigger mirrors. I think a lot of women do, or why are they there?
It's a faff to get dressed again to get another size. That's what the staff are there for (well, maybe not in all shops, but often they'll say, 'Let me know if you need another size or anything.')

Make the men's unisex and the women's single sex

I would do that too, to see what the outfit looks like from further away.

it’s all just so so crazy to me that we’ve removed and reduced the pleasantness for so so many people to accommodate such a few.

there was always an option to satisfy EVERYONE by keeping single sex and also adding third spaces for all, but no, they went for only unisex.

It doesn't bother me, I’d never ask an assistant to get me another size and I’m used to wandering right out of the fitting room area to show DH so I suppose unisex would actually be more convenient for me.
However I can see why others might not like it and I fully support single sex changing rooms.

i’ve used many fitting rooms where there are no staff present - I walked past an unstaffed unisex cubicle last year with a man changing with his door wide open, just me and him there. You also never addressed that women’s clothing being different to mens means women sometimes have issues with stuck zips etc or need advice with bra sizes or just want to ask for a different size without having to fully redress to open the door. Most cases of assault, voyeurism etc takes place in unisex facilities rather than in single sex provision. I’m a strapping hardy 57 yr old - i’m fine with unisex tho prefer single sex - my mum and my aunties are tiny elderly women - they have been M&S loyal long term customers - the experience has totally changed for them www.independent.co.uk/life-style/women/sexual-assault-unisex-changing-rooms-sunday-times-women-risk-a8519086.html

M&S based their reputation around this kind of service - it set them apart from other stores. Have people really never asked advice of staff, asked for help especially if in your own and buying something for a special occasion etc. i do get that the high street has changed and it’s basically gradually disappearing but people are either unaware or pretending this wasn’t the expected experience of clothes shopping in decent shops - especially for older customers

I find most staff very busy and not really trained to give advice. Especially not M&S bra fitting “consultants “.

I never had to ask for practical help.

i had personal shoppers booked at JL before when I was after something special especially as I wanted DH with me and running back and forth in a busy area wasn’t really relaxing. You get a separate area with plenty more space for this.

You still have a lot more staff interaction in smaller shops like Hobbs, Phase Eight etc. than in larger department stores.

I prefer female only ones. I don’t want men walking around or transwomen walking around.

Yes, that is what I favour. Larger lockable cubicles in sports centres so you can dry and dress yourself and your preschool child. Ours were big enough to allow this- dry DC, get them settled with a drink, dry yourself, leave.

As long as it’s separate cubicles I don’t care. Ditto with toilets. Mixed doesn’t bother me in the slightest.

Of course YANBU.

I’m fortunate enough to have never experienced sexual assault or ( as far as I know!) voyeurism so personally I’m ok with unisex lockable cubicles (especially in shops such as mountain warehouse and Go Outdoors) but I completely understand why many women and girls aren’t. Their needs obviously trump my lack of them.

I have never experienced any of those things 🤷‍♀️
Can only tell you how I feel.

Any place which serves kids should have sensible provision for them and an opposite sex parent. Many swimming pools do, but too many other places don’t - zoos, museums etc with no ‘parent and children’ loos is absurd.

Yes. Mini cameras are a booming industry these days. Letting men into women's toilets and changing rooms just makes it easier for them to put a camera in there. It happened to the daughter of a friend - the camera was sending the video to the man's computer.
As for the masturbators in the M&S changing rooms. They should not be enabled and encouraged. some years ago I had an unpleasant experience of taking a pair of knickers from the display to look at the size. They were sticky.

Unisex doesn't bother me. Everyone is more than welcome to change in the next stall to me.

Good for you.
Other people feel differently though.

Actually plenty of people batted an eyelid. I stopped bothering to use the changing rooms and either ordered online or took the clothes home and returned if unsuitable.

It's very simple for me. I don't use unisex changing rooms. If a shop wants my custom, they will provide separate facilities. End of.

YANBU. Consent is not transferable.