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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why would you text at the theatre?

269 replies

Sausagenbacon · 01/06/2026 19:29

Unless you're an idiot?
Rosamund Pike calls out audience member for texting during show

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c0723zgdp0eo

Given how many posters there are here, there must be those who think it's reasonable behaviour to text or film during performances.

We watched RP in this play (Inter Alia) and it's an incredibly intense experience. I just can't understand the mentality of someone who would pull out their phone and text during a performance.

OP posts:
ItsTimeGo · Yesterday 10:04

moonshineandsun · Yesterday 09:32

What I’m getting from this is a lot of chat as to why it was perfectly okay for you but others may also have a long backstory as to why it’s okay for them - but you aren’t aware of it. it’s the fundamental attribution error, where you judge others more harshly (by their actions) but make allowances for yourself (because you judge yourself by your intentions, not your behaviour).

But I haven’t said people can’t leave a show if there’s an emergency? I disagree with the texting. If you read all my other posts I have said that if someone really is having an emergency surely they’ll leave the show and won’t just be sitting there texting?

sittingonabeach · Yesterday 10:11

ThisBirdOnThatRoof · 01/06/2026 19:34

Very ill/possibly terminal person in the family?
Checking in with carer for SEN child?
Fastmoving project work where your time off is never really yours?
Coercive control by a partner?
Relatives in war zone, nervous checking?
Affair partner with set safe time for romantic text?

As if a text to an affair partner is a justifiable excuse for using your phone during a theatre performance!

ThisBirdOnThatRoof · Yesterday 11:57

Millytante · Yesterday 03:22

Silly (and very disrespectful to the cast) to go to the theatre under such circs then. If you'd never have gone in pre-mobile phone days, don’t do it now.

Tech = freedom

Justploddingonandon · Yesterday 12:02

Backedoffhackedoff · 01/06/2026 20:22

A couple of years ago I took my DD to the lion king which is really quite special, behaviour wise. The woman in front of me was eating an M&S sushi platter 😭 barely anyone stayed in the seats. A light from a phone wouldn’t have touched the sides

It was in fact The Lion King I was seeing. As well as this couple (who didn't seem to have any children with them), there were a few parents who were clearly bored and kept whispering to each other (or on phones). The kids were actually generally ok bar a bit of wriggling from the littler ones.

Millytante · Yesterday 12:14

ThisBirdOnThatRoof · Yesterday 11:57

Tech = freedom

Not at the expense of everyone else. In such a situation, it’s using that tech-given freedom to dominate others. There’s a word for that.

ThisBirdOnThatRoof · Yesterday 12:25

'Emergencies' are not the issue.
People should not have to lock themselves in if there are long term or ongoing chronic situations.

Millytante · Yesterday 12:27

Sparklybutold · 01/06/2026 22:26

@FeminineIntuitionWhat actually bothers me isn’t the phone, it’s the confidence of someone publicly shaming the person on their phone while having zero context themselves. Phones in theatre are annoying, sure, but I’m not going to pretend I know what was happening for that person, and I’m definitely not going to act like I have the right to judge a stranger’s whole character over a moment I don’t understand.

Even if the one person texting whom Miss Pike had in mind was a person legitimately checking a life-saving app, judging by many responses here there will have been umpteen others checking the final squad selection for the World Cup or gawking at Instagram.
We’ve produced a generation of cultural Yahoos, whose children will be even more oblivious and solipsistic.

FeminineIntuition · Yesterday 12:28

ThisBirdOnThatRoof · Yesterday 12:25

'Emergencies' are not the issue.
People should not have to lock themselves in if there are long term or ongoing chronic situations.

No, but they shouldn't be texting throughout theatre performances. As you already explained, you check your phone in a way that renders it totally undetectable by anyone else so it's fine. Carry on as you are.

Owly11 · Yesterday 12:31

If you are a carer you can never switch your phone off. A quick text can be the difference between being able to stay and watch the rest of the play or go home. If it's done completely silently and discreetly it is less disruptive to everyone than getting up, leaving the auditorium and then coming back in a minute or two later.

moonshineandsun · Yesterday 12:49

ItsTimeGo · Yesterday 10:04

But I haven’t said people can’t leave a show if there’s an emergency? I disagree with the texting. If you read all my other posts I have said that if someone really is having an emergency surely they’ll leave the show and won’t just be sitting there texting?

But you made the decision that it would be less distracting to race out of somewhere “legging it” and I said I’d find that more distracting than someone checking a text. Personally I presume lots of people are being rude and just scrolling, but it might be something else. In the same way, someone legging it out might have an emergency… or might want a cigarette. I don’t have all the info to hand.

I just find it interesting that you get to decide what’s appropriate or not - and when it’s appropriate. Maybe I think you should’ve been at the hospital but I’m aware I don’t have all the facts so I don’t judge.

ItsTimeGo · Yesterday 12:59

moonshineandsun · Yesterday 12:49

But you made the decision that it would be less distracting to race out of somewhere “legging it” and I said I’d find that more distracting than someone checking a text. Personally I presume lots of people are being rude and just scrolling, but it might be something else. In the same way, someone legging it out might have an emergency… or might want a cigarette. I don’t have all the info to hand.

I just find it interesting that you get to decide what’s appropriate or not - and when it’s appropriate. Maybe I think you should’ve been at the hospital but I’m aware I don’t have all the facts so I don’t judge.

Sadly hospitals don’t let you stay past visiting hours unless they feel death is imminent. Especially when things have been dragging out for months already.

Thegreyladyoflondon · Yesterday 13:12

Millytante · Yesterday 12:27

Even if the one person texting whom Miss Pike had in mind was a person legitimately checking a life-saving app, judging by many responses here there will have been umpteen others checking the final squad selection for the World Cup or gawking at Instagram.
We’ve produced a generation of cultural Yahoos, whose children will be even more oblivious and solipsistic.

It is little bit ironic also given her portrayal of a highly stressed modern woman, with conflicting pulls on her attention and time, not least from her 18 y/o son.
The message I got from the play was along the lines of judge not lest ye be judged.....
(Also, there was no interval)

JumpingPumpkin · Yesterday 13:22

batshitaboutcatshit · 01/06/2026 19:40

If any of these things were the case you either don’t go to the theatre or check before the play starts and at the interval. There is no excuse for being on your phone in the middle of a play.

Completely agree.
Unless you are a specialist surgeon who might be needed urgently to provide life saving treatment, it can wait.

BitOutOfPractice · Yesterday 15:14

Can anyone on this thread honestly say they’ve ever received life-or-death news that demanded their immediate and urgent attention by text?

PercyPigsAreOverRated · Yesterday 15:28

BitOutOfPractice · Yesterday 15:14

Can anyone on this thread honestly say they’ve ever received life-or-death news that demanded their immediate and urgent attention by text?

Nope!

I did have a load of missed calls and some WhatsApps from my mum when I was at work once to say she was taking DS1 to A&E.

And another time DS2 was at camp. I went to the cinema with some friends and came out to messages saying he'd injured himself and possibly broken a bone. I felt awful that they hadn't been able to contact me for a couple of hours, but they were fine about it. So was DS.

snoopydoopydo · Yesterday 15:48

Backedoffhackedoff · 01/06/2026 19:57

I’m struggling to believe anyone is bothered by the light from a phone.

it shouldn’t happen but I can’t get worked up about it. My first thought was the play wasn’t holding their attention, although I do keep meaning to see IA and think rosamund pike is a goddess

It is really distracting when someone nearby at the theatre or the cinema checks their phone and it lights up.

YourShyLion · Yesterday 15:52

Boredom. I went to see a very popular American comedy tv group several years ago when they toured the UK. They were awful, I cleared my entire work inbox (on very low light) over the couple of hours they were on.

Arlanymor · Yesterday 20:55

YourShyLion · Yesterday 15:52

Boredom. I went to see a very popular American comedy tv group several years ago when they toured the UK. They were awful, I cleared my entire work inbox (on very low light) over the couple of hours they were on.

Edited

Just leave then. Your low light is other people's distraction and ironically makes you a low life! Just leave the room - it's far more disrespectful to hang around dealing with your inbox than just leaving quietly. I can bet you there were plenty of people around you who thought you were being obnoxious only didn't tell you.

batshitaboutcatshit · Yesterday 23:24

YourShyLion · Yesterday 15:52

Boredom. I went to see a very popular American comedy tv group several years ago when they toured the UK. They were awful, I cleared my entire work inbox (on very low light) over the couple of hours they were on.

Edited

This is just the height of absolute rudeness.

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