Feeling very down, unmotivated and maybe burned out - AIBU to ask for advice?

[Quokkas]

Feeling quite low and rubbish and would be grateful for any advice please.

I work full time - a couple of days at home and couple of days in the office. But since Covid - so 2020/21 - I have had a few long periods when I’ve been feeling quite unmotivated and rubbish. I’ve responded to this by setting myself a few goals here and there, and have achieved them.

However, that feeling hasn’t really gone away and there is still a lot of stuff I want to do and achieve. I’m trying to do those things whilst feeling unmotivated and probably quite depressed, and maybe - although it sounds weird to say - a bit burned out too.

I don’t really want to see any friends or family, and have lost motivation to keep in touch with them, even though I love them and miss them and I know that seeing them and being in touch with them would do me the world of good, and it has done me good when I’ve seen them. It’s just like I don’t feel up to seeing them but also know it would help.

Then, in the last year, two very close relatives passed away very suddenly and my family pet died (although that was expected, and my family and I got to be with the pet when we put him to sleep).

Since Friday, I have just felt quite numb and tired and tearful.

I have fortnightly counselling, so will probably bring this up there, but in the meantime, very grateful for any advice please.

Thanks @Ricequark. Forgot to mention I’m also on day one of my period, which doesn’t help, as I’m feeling a bit tender and have cramps.

Good point about my job - I’m actually starting a new one in the next couple of weeks in the same place where I work.

My exercise routine is non-existent and I need to eat a lot healthier. I used to be part of a local gym but gave up my membership to save money. I was just thinking this morning that I should rejoin the gym. I also have the couch to 5k app but not used that recently.

I’d appreciate any and all tips on how to get into a healthy pattern with eating and exercise, as I should lose about two stone. I just want to stay in bed all the time and rot, and I just think of excuses all the time. Also probably have a phone addiction(!!)

Would be grateful for a step by step guide on this, if anyone is willing to give that!

I live with housemates.

Would boredom with work really mean a person is likely to lose interest in seeing family and friends though?

OP, if you feel "burnt out" you are "burnt out" and its ok to feel this way, or indeed feel any way and its ok to describe it in a way that makes sense to you.

Hi. I Completely get where you’re coming from. I have been very up and down since Covid, mostly down. I put on weight due to over eating in the past 5 years. At the beginning of this year I was very low, had no energy, cancelled meetings with friends and felt like I was rotting on the sofa.

I was failing at my new year resolutions. Also going through the menopause. Wasn’t helped by feeling a bit unproductive at work.

I have been on antidepressants for years but asked for an increase in dose. This helped. I’m not advocating that you get antidepressants. This is just my story.

The biggest thing that has helped me is to join a gym. Now I do lots of exercise classes and swimming. I push myself to do better each time, swim 1 more length etc. I haven’t made any friends but talk to people in the same classes. Also it has helped me to reduce down my terrible eating habits as I don’t want to eat rubbish after I’ve been to the gym.

Ive only lost a few Ibs and need to keep pushing myself to go. It’s early days but I’m feeling better. This is coming from someone who hated the gym.

Now to start working on feeling I have purpose at work.

Yes, guess if work takes up 5 days and is quite central to how someone views themselves *Ricequark *mmm,some jobs are just shit though! but yep, we spend a lot of time at work, it will effect how we feel about everything else. I think it doesn't hurt to try and find purpose in other aspects of our lives too.

I wonder if there is an app or something that sort of helps with undertaking a big life reset. Something to lay down plans, set goals, measure outcome, stay on task, hold yourself accountable and cheer you on.

It would be worth seeing your GP and having a blood test as although you may be depressed, you could have other issues such as thyroid not working properly.
Get yourself a copy of Atomic Habits and look at changing things slowly in various areas such as your diet and exercise as you’re much more likely to stick with it.
Try to arrange to see family or friends once a week if you can and perhaps try to enlist one of them as your accountability partner to encourage each other.