To dump my long term bf because he didn't call....

[Lucy87]

I am Australian and my boyfriend is English and we've been going back and forward for the past 3 years we've been together.

He's recently gone back to the UK for the next 6 months.

We speak every 2-3 days on the phone, and although he hates phone conversations - it's all we can do at the moment - I don't mind a long chat!

He promises he'll ring me at certain times - it can be quite tricky due to the time difference - yet he rarely does. Quite often, it will be due to the fact he's gone on a 3-4 day bender - another big issue.

I've let him know it really upsets me when I never hear from him - and end up ringing 2 days later asking what happened. He usually says he passed out - and he 'just went out'. He always swears he is SO sorry, until the next time.

Should I dump him? Is this a sign? Or AIBU????????????

do you really have much to say to each other if you are ringing every few days? If you have been together for 3 years I'd say you know each other quite well, so the chats are no longer "oh when you were a kid what did you do at such and such a time", more "i did so and so at work today" I'd say he's more wanting to avoid a long dull pointless phone call than avoiding you. I would say 20 minutes is plenty of time to chat and catch up on 3 days worth of activity....otherwise like someone else said, try emails which you can vary between romantic and downright saucy depending on your mood.

Don't force a phone call on him because YOU feel it shows how committed you are...maybe email him with some of your feelings and then leave it with him to call you or email you back - he might be more open in an email.... good luck, long distance relationships suck after the initial love struck romance fades!

He's in a band - it's a nightmare - I don't think he's an alcoholic though - the binges are almost always long weekend affairs..... tries to convince herself

He works stably otherwise and doesn't drink like this when we're living together - only when they are touring / playing lots in London. And he's giving that up entirely in 09 to move here for good, as he did this year when he was here Nov - June. He went back to fulfill touring commitments for the summer then that's it. So hopefully for the drinking too.

Shouldn't really be making excuses though as I find it disgraceful

very sensible advise, I shall sleep on it now (since it's bed time here) and let everyone know what I decide. Thank you xxx