AIBU to be driven crazy by this noise from the neighbours?

[NotSmallButFunSize]

I am being driven batshit crazy by the kid that lives behind us!

Now I will backstory this with the impression that he has some kind of additional needs.... He never speaks, just makes noises and is home all the time so doesn't seem to be at school or nursery.

Since the weather improved and they obviously spend more time in the garden and with the doors open, all I can hear all day is this nasal, "heeehh" kind of sound from him. Right now it sounds more like a nasally whiny cry. He was literally up all last night doing it, with all their doors open and by 6am he was back out in the garden.

I want to fucking kill him if I am honest, which is clearly awful given his apparent needs, but I can't take the noise any more. His parents seem to spend half their time screaming at him, or clearly just chucking him outside to presumably get some peace inside the house. They are not approachable people so please don't suggest going over to discuss it. Dad could be heard screaming at someone over some nothing event with his car the other day, I wouldn't want to risk getting punched in the face if I dared mention it to him.

Are we just expected to live like this?! I am sympathetic to it likely being a mare for them too but also frankly, he's not my kid so I don't want to have to live with it myself. I have done my time with crying babies and toddlers!

Unfortunately I don’t think there is anything you can do except move. Awful situation for all involved.

YANBU to be not be able to bear the noise. I would have to have a fan in every room and keep windows closed.

Can you report them to social services for screaming at him? Might kick off some changes.

Yabu and are shaming a clearly special needs child who is 'stimming'

Stimming is something we all do - be it tapping our feet or chewing our nails

Like, what would be the response from people - if you can't complain to the neighbours, maybe politely ask the council to insist he's outside from 9 til 8?

I feel for the kid with his parents shouting at him though

If you're not willing to talk to them and he can't help it anyway, then yes you will probably have to live with it.

A disabled child making a noise is highly unlikely to be classified as a statutory nuisance.

Move or get past it somehow.

I really feel for you but I'm not sure realistically what anyone can do about it. The noise overnight might be actionable by the council, but it would have to be a regular problem, not just occasional. And the daytime noise is unlikely to be classed as a nuisance.

Noise-cancelling headphones for you and reporting their behaviour to social services are all I can think of.

I sympathise with both you and your neighbour. I am probably overly sensitive to noise and my DC are all SN and make so much unnecessary noise.

You do actually have some recourse. You're entitled to a relatively peaceful environment and noise from the neighbours, whether all night parties or a SN kid stimming, is unacceptable. You can report to your local authority as you would with any other unacceptable noise and they may take action.

I'm not really sure what they could do if the neighbours aren't in council housing but it sounds like the child might benefit from some intervention.

I've lived here 20 years, they have been here 1 - am not bloody moving!!

I guess it's not the noise itself in isolation, it's when it's an endless crying version - I guess I was asking is it extreme to get some advice from SS about his welfare? I know he may just be crying despite anything they try but coupled with all the screaming and swearing, I would be more inclined to think they are just ignoring him

Not extreme at all. Screaming at the poor child constantly needs reporting.

Don’t be silly, of course she’s not shaming the kid. The fact that the noises are made by a person with special needs isn’t going to make them any less difficult to listen to. Get off your high horse!

Well if you can’t talk to them and can’t/won’t move (I’m not saying you’re wrong) then I guess you’ll just have to figure out a way to put up with it.

I think there are two separate issues here

1. The child seems to have SEN because he's pre-verbal / non-speaking and makes a lot of noise - this is standard for a lot of non-speaking SEN children who can be flipping noisy; non speaking doesn't mean silent.

2. He is a vulnerable child who can't communicate his needs and is being shouted at by his carers who are also aggressive to others.

It's the second one which is the problem and yes, you should contact social services. If the parents are just struggling to cope with his needs then they will likely be offered support.

6am is not a suitable time for your DC to go into the garden. Mine weren’t allowed in the garden until 9am on the weekend. Obviously not as easy with a special needs child. Sounds incredibly difficult as we all have our limits, no matter how sympathetic we may be to the situation.

Report that the shouting to social services.

He may have sen and be stimming but his parents shouldn’t be just letting him in the garden from 6am till bedtime.

Also play music any music you enjoy to help cover the sound.

I was thinking this too. I totally sympathise, OP - with that kind of noise it's the constant waiting for the next time, knowing it's coming but never knowing quite when, that can really wear you down after a while - but it sounds like the child's safety might need checking too. The crying, paired with his parents screaming at him, sounds really worrying. Agree with those who are saying report.

Beyond that I'm not sure how much you can do, unfortunately - definitely feeling your pain though!

I feel sorry for this little lad too for his issues, he probably doesn't have much of a life, but equally OP isn't doing any harm to let off steam on an anonymous forum, imo, about the understandable frustration this is causing. It's not like she's organising the neighbours into a witch hunt. Does sound like he needs a welfare check though.

Im a social worker
what do you mean - out in the garden at 6am ?

All the family up and milling about starting their day early or he’s out there on own?

They have large back doors which I assumed were open and he was mooching about and into the garden. It was really clear from the sound that he was out there (as opposed to the noise carrying from inside), no idea if they were too but they don't generally seem to start their day at that time.

He had been noisy all night so I guessed they had left the doors open all night. He seemed to be playing with something too as it was a sound like when you bang baby cups together.

Frigging 6am on a Sunday!! 🙈

Call the MASH- Childrens Social Care and log a concern with them to do an enquiry

I feel your pain and frustration on a personal level but what’s important here is this little boys lived experience within this family so needs looking into as sounds worrying to me

Log a contact now regarding this morning to get ball rolling , and they will follow up tomorrow with you and with the family within 48 hours

do it now x

Thanks all - and please don't misunderstand that I do get why he is doing it, it's just been quite a heavy weekend of it this time and with having to sleep with the windows open due to the heat it's been hard to escape!

I have been wondering on getting some ss advice for a while now and I think this weekend has just brought stuff to a head. I'm not being horrible but I think we can all agree we sometimes get driven to the edge by stuff!!

I agree with a pp fans indoors and good double glazing , that is what we’ve resorted to in our living room as our neighbours have a screamer , she’s 3 ish and it starts by about 8 am and goes on until 8 pm if the weather is good . I don’t think she has additional needs I just think she has parents who don’t tell her to shut up .

I just advised you above to contact SS as a Social Worker
Would you do it please as what you have said about this child is extremely concerning - for his sake - as he may well be known to a Disability team for example, but this could be Safe Guarding so please log your worries asap then SC can pick it up and start an enquiry to make sure the young person is safe and well firstly then look at what the family might need to mange what sounds very extreme and disruptive from what you are saying

1. move
2. move
3. buy headphones
4. move

Did you report ?
Can be done online too / takes a few minutes only
Google your area Children’s Social Care

• look at report a concern under children’s safeguarding ( it will say suspected abuse) and quickly share the info on their online form
• follow up with a call down the line

Something not sitting right here esp if he’s being shouted n screamed at and in the garden at 6am

please call it in or log it