People from other countries - they’re just better than us, aren’t they?

[PebbleDashedDoor]

I’m on holiday in the Balkans and like everytime I go overseas, it’s difficult not to conclude people from other countries are just better than us.

Immaculately kept, litter free, great service in bars and restaurants by experienced staff, polite well behaved kids eating out in restaurants, not a screen in sight. Everyone generally better looking, better dressed.

Or do I have rose tinted holiday goggles on?

Exactly this. Choose where you go!

Another French living in the UK (London). The UK isn't perfect, Brits can be a bit weird sometimes with social classes and their obsession with GARDENS, but overall I love living here.

I'm Parisian, when I go back to Paris for a weekend, on Friday evening I'm all like "Aaaah Paris sera toujours Paris" whilst humming some Edith Piaf, but by Sunday morning I can't run fast enough to catch the Eurostar and go back home.

I live in a pretty run-down area of South East London, a place that would make pearls clutch themselves, but it's very community driven and the vast majority of people are just lovely. Yes some of them have shitty tattoos, are a bit overweight and go to Tesco express in their PJs, that's fine if they're nice people.
I'm happy to be French but I'll equally be happy and proud to become British when I finally finish my citizenship application.

I also live in SE London and I do not care if people are overweight or tattooed or fake tanned. The vast majority of people in London are lovely. It's the world's greatest city.
What a nice post.
Yes, I don't get the gardens either! 😉

When posts mention how cold British people are (to them) and the defence given by others is "no, they are just shy and reserved", I often think of British attitudes and customs around funerals and death.

It is not mentioned, and people seem to be terrified of approaching the bereaved to sympathise. There was a thread recently where people were horrified that mourners would turn up at a funeral if they DID NOT KNOW THE DECEASED. Gosh that made me wince. Surely a death is a time of coming together for the bereaved, the living left behind, comforting them, remembering the dead person, all that sort of stuff. I'm sure it happens in some parts, but that was the general gist. Add to that the three to four weeks hiatus between death and the funeral, when everyone goes back to normal life in the interim and then has to grieve openly a month later. Totally unreal stuff. But it is what it is.

I suppose the responses to funeral attendances on that thread made me think how cold could people be not to go to the funeral of the relative of their dear colleague, walking group companion, choir member that sings beside them every week, school mum friend seen every day twice a day, hell anyone known very well and loved, just because you didn't know the deceased person!

I can see how this would come across as cold, impervious to real life, and stuck in "that's not the done thing", and stiff upper lip.

Just one example and my 2c.

It would be seen as weird by the family if you turned up a funeral and you didn't know the dead person.

Even if you were best friends of the deceased's son or daughter, but had never met the parent? THAT would be very weird indeed of the family. Cold is right.

That kind of zipped up attitude seems to spill over into other facets of British life too. I'm not immune but I would definitely go to my best friend's parent funeral and I wouldn't second guess the reaction of family to my presence. My friend would be happy to see me, and it would be for HER. That's what friends are for I would have thought. But hey I'm a bit warmer than most I suppose!

Certainly not in Ireland. You would attend funerals for colleagues’ or friends’ parents or siblings or spouses that you’d never met, without thinking twice. You’re there for the person you know who’s bereaved.

Agreed. I was totally taken aback when living in England and a colleague returned after his mother’s funeral and no one condoled with him or mentioned it, and no flowers had been sent. Someone I knew only from occasionally meeting her out walking her dogs (a neighbour had mentioned that her father had died some months earlier, since I’d last seen her) thanked me for condoling and said she’d been shocked by people crossing the road to avoid her.

I’m quite certain it’s ’not knowing what to say’ rather than coldness or indifference, but it can come across that way.

Well we aren't in Ireland. Although from what I have read on here not all Irish are warm and friendly either in certain areas.

My colleague lost her dad a few weeks ago. Most that knew about it passed on their condolences. I suppose some don't know what to say?

I’m curious as to how people manage to blame bad customer service on capitalism?
I’ve spent a part of my life in a socialist country, where the attitudes of the workers in state-run shops were quite grotty. No competition, no need to impress customers.

Well that wasent my experience when my mum died last year
I got lots of kind measages and some flowers off friends

What did she become?

I agree, I think she’s pretty fabulous.

It seems a bit rude to criticise the behaviour of a group of people like this.

British, or it seems to be English, people are a bit reserved and "buttoned up" it doesn't mean that we do not feel as deeply as others. We just don't (typically) do much weeping and wailing in public, and a lot of us keep our feelings to ourselves.

In fact countries where this is the norm don't seem particularly genuine to me.

Compared to some Polish people for example I don't think we are that cold. However this is just an anti English thread who aren't as wonderful as Welsh, Irish or Scottish.

It's nice to get out there and see different cultures. I've travelled over a large part of Europe these past few years and most people are polite and provide good service, but good manners when queuing or driving can be lacking compared to Brits.

I have to agree with the pp that Rome is fantastic, but you'd need to be as blind as a bat to not see the graffiti and litter. Driving in Italy you notice they lack courtesy and it's even worse in France. I'm driving to Northern Spain soon and dread part of the French route.

I've equally had some great trips to Edinburgh, Belfast and Dublin and met lovely people and had great service. Preferred Northern Ireland and already planning to go back this September!

No one is asking anyone to weep and wail in public. I agree that that kind of public grief can be over dramatic. I'm referring to friends of relatives of the deceased person not going to the funeral, or not being able to express condolences easily, why? What harm does it do and what has non attendance to do with being reserved? It smacks of a cop out to me actually. People don't know what to say so bail out of any interraction involving death and funerals! What is so hard about saying "I am so sorry, I hope you are alright, if there's anything you need from me, let me know" Might be a platitude but it's flipping something at a time of loss.

Some people get away with anything because they cite being reserved and stiff upper lip but in reality they are just terrified of expressing emotion, that's my take on it. And it comes across as cold.

Remember the holiday hot spots are kept clean and clear for tourists, go to the outskirts of the cities and it'll be very different. What I saw in the outskirts of Paris was worse than anything I've seen in the uk

You could be describing my experience of China.
I could not describe them as better, just different.

Try getting a train in Italy or doing minor admin tasks in France

When we were in Denmark we noticed that people just left their bikes unlocked because theft is so rare. In England we not only have to chain our bikes up, we also have to chain the wheels to the frame - so sad.

Retail training often means shadowing another member of staff for a day or 2 if they aren't off sick. And being left to flounder as constantly short staffed

I was in currys with my partner once, he asked a question about a tv and promptly told to look on website.Didnt buy it there

Given there are so many flippin bike lanes everywhere now, the Government should just give everyone a free bike and be done with it. That would cut down on theft and encourage bike use. They are expensive things to buy now. A brave bold initiative, what are the chances!

Nope, massive amounts of bike theft in Denmark. Not even slightly rare I'm afraid. Same in Amsterdam - more bikes mean more bike thefts.