To find many thread replies not actually relevant to the OP?

[TheCleverPinkTiger]

It feels like quite a few threads end up full of comments that aren’t really relevant to what the OP is asking. For example, someone could post about Tesco having half-price lamb (the only time I’d buy it!) and instead of discussing that, people jump in saying it’s unhealthy, fatty or you then get a whole side discussion that has nothing to do with the original post.

AIBU to find that a bit frustrating?

I think these days thread are mostly AI created, either people too lazy to type out a post themselves so ising chat gpt, AI prompted to increase traffic to the site, or bots posting for marketing and research.

Combined with very poor literacy in the UK of course, the the original post isn't fully being read.

I think it’s just generally how conversations go? In the real world we’ll start talking about one thing and end up on another topic.

I get that. I think there’s a difference between a conversation naturally evolving and a thread becoming almost entirely about something the OP didn’t actually ask though.

Annoying as it is it’s just human nature. If the op doesn’t want any of the annoying noise of other comments they’d do better asking AI. I don’t think there’s any way you can stop the threads evolving?

To me a thread about lamb is about lamb in general. The fact that a retailer has it on at a certain price isn't exactly worthy of a lengthy detailed convo. 'Oh that's nice. I'll get some'. Or 'oh that's nice I've already got some' is hardly scintillating reading.

Conversations are meant to branch off but talking about people's opinions on the nutrition or taste of lamb seem very much still on topic?

Have you noticed how so many acorns seem to have germinated this year. There are little oak saplings everywhere.
Seems like we could be overrun by giant oaks in about 20 years

I hate it when OP asks a specific question and pps pick holes in the original post, reading between the lines (er...making things up in their fevered imaginations, usually) and speculating wildly.

I particularly dislike the comment 'You don't seem to like him/her much' when someone is explaining a problem with a friend. Such an unhelpful and irrelevant over-simplification of a complicated and nuanced problem.

Just answer the question and restrict your opinion to that - don't psychoanalyse OP unless they've asked you to!

Meh, it's just how conversation works.

You're right, there are always a lot of irrelevant replies. There are people with an axe to grind, who will always manage to find a way to steer the conversation back to their particular hobby horse. There are people who read far too much into an OP (for example they will conclude there's a problem with their marriage when they've posted about a work-related issue). Then there are the pedants who will pick up on some small and irrelevant factual inaccuracy in the OP as some sort of "gotcha" and people who pile in with abuse. For example the OP posts, for context that she was in Aldi at 10am on Sunday as a prelude to a discussion about someone vandalising her car, and someone will chip in with a pointless comment about the fact Aldi is not open at 10am on Sunday.

But fundamentally this is no different really from the sorts of discussions people will have in a pub or cafe (albeit sometimes with fewer restraints). And there's still a fair amount of wise and sensible advice on here if you can pick through the chaff.

It would be pretty boring if every post was directly responding to the OP. The conversation usually moves on after the first few pages, oftentimes with the OP’s blessing as they respond to the ‘irrelevant’ contributions and move the discussion along.

I agree about this comment. So overbearing and unhelpful.

See also: on any thread about behavioural issues in children, someone will helpfully pipe up to suggest: "you should try parenting your children." No shit, sherlock.

It’s just chit chat. People are bored. They come on here with time on their hands. It can digress. Thats absolutely fine. Makes everything interesting.
Don't have to read it if you don’t want to.

It’s always been the way on here I’ve seen whole threads derailed by a tiny irrelevant detail. Eg someone mentions a difficult scenario they want advice on but adds an irrelevant food or time comment and then there will be numerous posts saying why were you having dinner at 4.30pm.
One that really stuck with me was a young mum in relationships at home in the evening with a small baby and her partner was out at the work do when some messages popped up on a linked iPad showing he was unfaithful. They were in their 20s and she called the ow a girl eg he’s messaging a girl at work. Reams of posts saying girls are children so in the middle of probably worse night of her life she’s having to defend him and reply no he’s not having sex with a child. In between there are a few useful posts like ring your mum. It honestly was the most unnecessary and unhelpful derail.

I’m going to disagree and say that comments like “you don’t seem to like each other” are useful to help an OP reflect on what often comes across as a truly diabolical ‘friendship’. I am amazed at what some MNetters seem to tolerate in their personal relationships - envy, bitchy comments, rudeness, flakiness, outright insults. Instead of having the self-respect to cut shit people out of their lives, they endlessly ruminate and run to MN to try to understand what THEY’VE done wrong. Anything to try to hold on to a toxic relationship. It’s bonkers.

Your example is a typical conversation starter and decent conversations meander through many different topics. It's what makes them interesting.

However if someone had asked a specific question, with the relevant details, then yes it can be annoying. But so many don't put the relevant information which is why posters don't stick to answering just the question. There's always an underlying reason that has to be teased out.

But if they do give relevant information then it ends up as cancel the cheque which is boring.

Yes and no I suppose. It's annoying when a couple of posters completely derail a thread with a petty argument amongst themselves. But some posters have totally unrealistic expectations about receiving focused, relevant responses when asking the general public on a free chat forum.

I agree about toxic friendships actually: people put up with awful behaviour from friends and partners in order not to be alone/friendless.

But I think some posters are sometimes a bit overzealous in diagnosing these situations. Sometimes friendships can be very nuanced and ambiguous. It is sometimes helpful to have a wake-up call that someone is just being a dick to you, but there are many scenarios where behaviour is problematic but it doesn't merit calling time on a decades-long friendship.

I agree, you often get:

• posters focusing on one (often minor) point who end up sniping at each other

• posters asking questions that are already covered in the OP or entirely irrelevant
• posters picking on grammatical errors or phrasing they don't like

The tendency for pps to snipe (by that, I mean say snarky and glib things about the OP - often with no explanation or subtlety - just an insult, really - about terminology, grammar etc) means that OPs just get longer as the person tries to avoid this kind of accusation.

Eg: It was an older woman - I'm not being ageist - and she was from an ethnic minority background, not that I'm making any assumptions about that and also she was very well-spoken but that's fine... etc etc etc

You often see 'what's her age got to do with it?' or 'why did you mention their ethinicity?' etc. So tedious. I pps think aspects of the OP are irrelevant, just ignore them.