Friendship woes

[Lig0607]

Really feeling for my 17 year old daughter at the moment. She didn't like college so left to do an Apprenticeship, bit by bit her friends gave dwindled, they seem to prioritise boyfriends over friendship.

My best friend also has a daughter same age. We've all be friends since girls were little, we've become like family.

Lately my daughter has been reaching out to my friends daughter but she's always busy. This upsets my daughter because she can clearly see that she has time for others. I've spoken to my friend about how my daughter feels about being rejected by friends in general, she sympathises but nothing changes.

I'm trying to explain to mine that sometimes people only think of themselves abd yo reaching out and then leave her. They are mates but at the minute it is hard work.

How do I help her? I feel I can't talk to my friend as it's her daughter and although I hate seeing mine upset I do get she's also finding her way.

Sorry but while I completely understand why you want to be there for your daughter, you can’t expect your friend’s daughter to force herself to hang out with her if she has other, better friends. She doesn’t sound like she’s being unkind, just choosing her own close friendship group. It would be better for your daughter to do other activities to find new friends and build her self esteem rather than to chase after people who aren’t interested.

It’s a tough thing to deal with but it can happen at any age in life and the best thing you can do is be flexible and positive about your friendship groups. As her mum you can be supportive without blaming the other girls. It just
leaves your daughter feeling angry and powerless without changing the situation.

This is such a crap time for them. My dd is also 17 and things with friends have been really tricky. I’m dreading when they all go to uni in a year what will happen because it has been very tricky for her with friendship after an incident of bullying.

It’s tough stepping back and getting them to try and fix it. It seemed a lot easier when they were young. Does she have any hobby where she could meet other people?

She's doing an Apprenticeship and she has met people there are a few her age.

I think she finds it hard because the friendships she has now only want to know when they want to moan about their boyfriends or other friends aren't available. It seems very one sided so I do get why when she reaches out at other times she feels rejected.

She's young, she'll learn

Bless her , bullying doesn't sound good.