To think there is no such thing as a “teen mum name”

[Hippout]

One thing I’ve noticed on the name board is things like “sounds like the name of a girl who becomes a teen mum” usually used to criticise the incorrectly spelt or names posters don’t consider classy.

I had my children at 16 and 18 and my name is Charlotte. One of my closest friends was also a teen mum and her name is Shannon.

Teen mums have normal names!

‘Teen mum type’ is shorthand for chav? Chav is the long way of saying teen mum type?

Well said

“Teen mum name” is so awful - people obviously mean “working class”, or “chavvy”, or “trashy” but think using those terms makes them look bad. “Teen mum name” makes them look equally as bad!

The boy equivalent seems to be “a naughty boy name”, again assuming that any boy with an Irish, black-sounding or working class name is going to be badly-parented and badly-behaved in school. Just awful classism and/or racism.

Chav has gone out of fashion/ been deemed unacceptable, despite it being useful, as a word. Shorthand here means ‘ signifies’ rather than ‘ uses less letters’.

I think teen mum name is a lot worse than chavvy or trashy. Seeing as what’s chavvy and trashy is subjective. While being a teen mum is not.

It technically means “gypsy”, which is why people don’t think it is acceptable - describing any poor behaviour as “gypsy-like” is clearly racist, and “chavvy” is just an oblique way of saying the same thing.

”Tacky” gets the point across without bringing gypsies/travellers into it.

Some people are just snobs!

It’s obviously not ideal for the teen if she has children that young but in most cases she isn’t the person deserving of judgment.

Oh I agree. They mean “sounds like a poor person’s name”. Obviously that is an awful thing to say out loud, so they dance around it, rather than the rather more obvious solution of just not saying it.

Of course the name doesn’t matter! Friends DD accidentally became a mum at 18 - she has a trad ‘royal’ name. Family are very well off and friend is thoroughly enjoying being a young grandma and they’re financially supporting the DD.
I also have a couple of completely MC friends who has their kids very young, and they have very posh/ MC names themselves. I sort of evy them as they are done with child rearing in their early 40s while the rest of us are dealing with stroppy teens and GCSEs right now!

Some teenagers plan pregnancy too.
I think that there is alot of negative stereotyping of teenage single mums.
As always, there will always be people who fulfil stereotypes and fuel people's prejudices.

I think on MN a lot of names are deemed “chavvy” “common” “teen mum” some of the “posh” names suggested on the baby board are ridiculous (imo). I think I’d rather be called Mckenzie than Bartholomew or Artemis. I imagine a lot of people don’t give a shit what other people call their kids.

I know a very middle class well of family, privately educated all have degrees etc the daughter had a baby at 30 and called her Lulabella-Rose

I imagine if some mumsnetters heard that in the wild they’d think she’s been dragged up drinking lambrini from a baby bottle till they were 7.

The only teen mum I know is called Jane and she had a baby Winifred!

As an aside I'm happy that the rate of teenage motherhood continues to decline.

Who deserves the judgement?

Theu don't actually mean teen mum. They mean poor and uneducated.

It's the age old stereotype that those who are well off don't tend to have unusual names because their parents are thinking of their future of becoming professionals. So certain names fit a certain social classes because of media and societal trends.

So your "chavvy" names = lower class, uneducated = teen mum (because clearly they didn't have decent parents in the commentere eyes)

Your usual names = could be any class, responsible parents who think about your future = good girl would never make a mistake.

"Pretentious" names = we have enough money that we will never have to worry about our children's futures. = being teen mum doesn't even matter.

It's just classism and a roundabout way if letting others know that they aren't one of those "povvos".

So by this reckoning, Kate Middleton will be a granny in 4-5 years' time. My friend Charlotte just had a baby, she is 30. Charlotte is a fabulous name.

@CieloElmers My cousin's son has McKenzie as his middle name, because that is her maiden name.

It is, as many have said already, backdoor snobbery of an unpleasant kind.

That doesn’t change the fact that all things being equal its not a great idea to have a child when you are yourself still a child and I personally am in favour of discouraging teenagers to have children.

Being a teen mum carries huge stigma. In deprived communities it's a way out of the family home and into a council house, benefits the lot. Saying that while some names are associated with lower socio economic class the majority cross classes. Charlotte or Lottie can be council estate or palace. Same for Sienna, William and so on. Basically teen mum name is nonsense.

Adding that middle and upper classes less likely to keep teenage pregnancy as family expects good career or marriage, which a baby would get in the way of. In poorer populations, teenage pregnancy is a way to better yourself from your current situation in better off populations it prevents teenage girls from pursuing a good career or advantageous marriage match.

I think the idea middle and upper classes are less likely to be teen mums is outdated. In all honesty no matter your class it’s massively frowned upon now and abortion encouraged. That’s why there are a lot less teenage pregnancies than thirty years ago. Some of us just didn’t want abortions and you cannot force anyone to have an abortion.

I don't think being a teen mum is something to aspire to or be proud of, and too many teen mums (not ALL teen mums) but too many prove it by not being independent, financially or else

but let's be honest, on the name forum, some posters are completely bonkers and have the strangest ideas about ANY name 😂.

I wouldn't take that personally.

Oh dear. I was a teen mum (and a geriatric mum) and have a super posh name! All my children have quite “classic” names - think along the lines of Arthur and George. I wouldn’t have chosen to be a teen mum, but was sadly out of time to make a choice. Blame poor education in the 90’s

This makes no sense. Whichever term you use, it’s classist and judgemental.

Cripes, mumsnet is full of judgemental snobs, with some racism and classism thrown in. Must be wonderful to be perfect !

in fairness, MN is mainly full of people who cannot accept that others have a different opinion let alone a different experience 😂

What's wrong with Bartholomew? It's a perfectly ordinary name classless name.

In your opinion. Nothing wrong with it, would just rather be called Mckenzie