Just that really. When I first met my SIL I liked her. But over time red flags emerged. To the point my brother’s best mate asked brother what he was doing marrying SIL. She is very controlling and demanding. Will go and buy designer clothes regardless if they can afford it. Doesn’t have a job. Talks down to brother etc.
I shared my concerns once with brother years ago. only once and left it at that. But brother explained what he saw in SIL and I left it at that. It’s his choice at the end of the day. I don’t want to push it as I love my brother and we as a family have a lovely relationship.
I’ve tried my absolute best with SIL. Cooked nice meals, invited her shopping etc. Genuinely tried to have a friendship/meaningful relationship.
But I have since learned SIL was seen punching brother on their drive. I want to maintain a relationship with brother. So I haven’t brought it up. I’ve had advice from mumsnet in the past and was told keep my mouth shut so as not to give SIL an excuse to isolate brother.
SIL and brother are coming over this weekend. I make small talk but we tend not to engage on a deep level with each other. I feel like such a two face asking SIL about her family/job for example.
How should I behave? It just feels so wrong and phoney. But I don’t want to lose brother