AIBU to think family days out have become unaffordable?

[ThisAmpleCritic]

Half term. Trying to find things to do to keep the kids occupied. Why is everything SO expensive?! We’ve exhausted the local free activities including various walks, playgrounds, splash parks, travelled to the nearest beach. We want to do something a bit more special and have looked at more “day out” type activities, including children’s theme park, zoo, steam train, castle, national trust etc but it’s just unaffordable. It frustrates me how as a family we’re considered good earners but we just don’t have enough left over to justify £100+ for one day out, not including travel and food and the inevitable ice cream and gift shop visit.

Is anyone else struggling with the cost of family days out or AIBU?

Someone mentioned parents working full time, feeling guilty and then deciding they need to treat their children and I think there’s a lot of truth in that. I don’t just think it’s guilt I think it’s making their lives easier. When I get home, all my children (tweens) want is time on the sofa me listening to them about their day. It’s easier to go to an activity, sit scrolling on my phone and occasionally pay out for a few expensive snacks/drinks than it is to take them out on their roller skates or scooters, baking or drawing together.

YANBU but agree with suggestions of memberships and depends where you live. There are loads of free things to do with kids in London which still count as a 'day out' in terms of not somewhere you go all the time if that's what you mean

Yes. I did back in the 70/80's. We had to save. But if you go on benefits, you can go for a couple of pounds now. 🤷‍♀️

You can still have an amazing day out and if you take a nice home made packed lunch and drinks and avoid the gift shop it will be half the price.

I think the point is the everyone knows it's cheaper to take a packed lunch, not eat an ice creams in skip the gift shop. It's just a bit demoralising that prices have gone up so much that it feels like many people on seemingly middle-to-good incomes can't buy their kids an ice cream on a day out every now and again.

Most people do understand the need to compromise and balance, they're just frustrated by high prices and perceived lack of value.

I think some things depend on the children's ages. Some debate about park and picnic - one of mine enjoyed this sort of thing more than the other. 15 mins of being in the park was enough for one and unless we were meeting other people they would want to go home, and even if meeting others would soon get fed up.

When little I used to plan and have perhaps one bigger outing in half term and smaller things so it would be park one day, museum (free) the next, the library also used to do free activities (though funding means they don't do that so much even for little ones now), the local toy shop would sometimes do a craft morning for free, we would visit grandparents one day.

As others have mentioned getting a season ticket works well. We did NT membership for a few years until we exhausted the local places (and also then got fed up with the free newspaper passes that kept coming up).

I think this is another area where social media is to blame - other people always look busy, but who is going to photo and upload the less exciting days at home.

As it has been pointed out, many times before, these concessions still involve money being spent on travelling to said attraction, and everything else that goes with having a day out. I am glad that these concessions are available, though I have the insight to recognise that it will still only be beneficial to some people receiving benefits.

That’s nothing new though. On the rare occasions we went to a cafe when I young we had to pick between a drink OR a cake. My parents budgeted for every penny and my mum knew exactly what we had in the fun fund.

We still had a fantastic time though without needing constant stuff to make it fun.

But even if it was free, some parents won't have the time or will just refuse. It's impossible to make everything accessible to everyone but that doesn't stop it being a worthwhile discount to those who can make use of it. Many people have transport passes or are entitled to free public transport so there's no extra cost there.

And despite MNs obsession with gift shops and attraction food, many people can have a lovely day out without feeling the need to pay over the odds for mediocre cafe food or some crap from the gift shop that will break before it gets home.

You don't need a 'day out' every day. Just let them out to play.
If you do want an odd day out, museums are free

I still regularly go on Groupon, Travel Zoo and Things to do (formally living social.) There is not always a deal, but we usually find value somewhere,

Yesterday took Me and my two boys plus the next-door neighbours to the Manchester Snowdome. £23 with 4x free drinks. Offer runs out in July on Groupon. There is also a good deal on for Amazonia in Bolton.

I do agree, though, that some full-price activities are just too expensive. Occasionally, I have worked out the day out price and then taken the lads to Home Bargains to spend half on outdoor toys and crafts which has lasted us a good couple of weeks ,

I think paid days out have always been expensive, we do have membership to two attractions, apart from that we only do cheap or free things, we always take a pack up and we never buy anything from the gift shop apart from a postcard.

A lot of the time we just go to a less local park for a an hour or so.

£5 in the gift shop? That gets nothing, the stuff costs a fortune, especially the cuddly toys attached to zoos for example. Mine have to save afew weeks to afford them. Prices are extortionate!

You can’t have exhausted them all in five days. A day out absolutely does not have to in life lunch. Ice cream and gift shop.

picnic with nicer food than usual is still cheaper. Get an ice cream, they can pocket money gift shop if they choose.

We have a couple of memberships and plan to cycle them round every year or so, like national trust and local soft play. I regularly review the value and make sure we get the most out of them.

theme parks etc have always been expensive - I think we went once a year except when my mum got a Merlin pass with her Tesco vouchers so went to the one near us more but again, made the most of it for a year then did something else

we were comfortable money wise but didn’t spend madly on everything, and my parents also made sure we knew the value of things as well.

I get what you're saying. However it does sound like they've been taken out a lot already.

My first theme park trip was with the school, to Alton Towers aged 15. These things have always been expensive. As kids, we were overjoyed to fly our crappy kites on Dunstable Downs, or walk for hours in Ashridge Forest. We never went to a café. It was egg sandwiches and thermos flasks in the car. I was just happy to spend time with my hardworking parents.

I have think part of the problem is people's expectations. The notion that you have to, or that it is even affordable to go for big days out regularly, is a new thing to me. We rarely did "something a bit more special" as treats to theme parks etc have always been really expensive. We went to the beach, took a packed lunch, and got an ice cream. As a child that was a treat. Unless you live at the seaside I would say things like that are "something special".

Other days were spent in the local swimming pool, in the local parks, trips to museums and visits to somewhere scenic (with a packed lunch). The rest of the time we hang about with our friends in the street.

It has always been expensive.
I once complained about the cost of going to the Millenium Dome (before it was the O2 centre, so guessing this was the year 2000). I was told by a colleague ' it's just he same as going to Thorpe Park', so I explained to said colleague that both places were prohibitively expensive for a family, and I had not been to Thorpe Park either.
A family of 2 adults and 3 children.
Worse was London Zoo. There was a 'family' ticket, but this meanst 2 adults and 2 children, and myself (without DH) with 3 children did not count. ie my eldest was 13, but if he had been 16, he would have counted as an adult for the family ticket.
So 1 adult with 3 children, the eldest 13, cost MORE than 1 adult with 3 children, the eldest 16. I tried to query this, but no joy.
In those days one bought tickets at the gate.
So, we went in, as obviously I could not disappoint them, but that was the last time we ever went.
I really hope the pricing mechanism has been amended since then.

Spending power has decreased quite a bit though, surely, since e.g. 1990ish? (I'm guessing that's the broad era that most of us are reminiscing about here!)

At that time, the average house price was somewhere between 4 and 5 x the average wage (England). Now it's closer to 7 or 8 x times. My understanding is that average prices for a lot of other costs, particularly in the hospitality and tourism industries, have shot up out of line with average wages too.

So relatively speaking, I think it's quite a bit more expensive to treat your kids to an ice cream or meal out than it was 30-40yrs ago. I remember whole families coming to eat every single Friday night at the country pub where I used to work as a teenager - 2 or 3 courses every week! That's surely unthinkable now

Yanbu but I still think there are a lot of decent free activities you can do, even something as simple as a walk in the woods, bike ride or a trip to the beach. The issue is people just want to do more these days, I’m guilty of it too. If I haven’t got some good pics of our days out to post on social media by the end of the holidays I feel like I’ve somehow failed. It’s ridiculous because kids often prefer the simple things. Farm parks are usually a cheaper alternative to a zoo.

Perhaps it was easier because we lived in London but my children only ever went on free days out - museums, parks, sightseeing walks - and we always took a picnic. They spent a lot of time in the garden playing with friends. When I was growing up we considered ourselves lucky if mum could afford to take us to the cinema and sometimes we would be warned that she couldn’t afford to buy ice creams.

People criticise me for spending a fortune on trips out. But in reality i spend very little. We have NT and EH membership (although EH won't be renewed this year) I pay NT on a monthly dd. We have an annual pass to our local wildlife park which i buy on black friday and my parents pay towards in lieu of Christmas presents for us.

We booked a one off trip to legoland and as part of the deal we got essential annual merlin passes for free. The essential pass has a lot of date restrictions and doesn't give you the discount on food, shops and friend's tickets, but it was free so not too bothered.

We always take a picnic, our own drinks etc and we rarely bother with the gift shop.

Check out sites like planetoffers ad they often have discounted vouchers.

Planning for these things makes a huge difference

Many of us are Covid parents who already went to the same park a thousand times while the kids were banned from school for the best part of a year.

Yes I enjoy taking them to interesting places. The summer holidays are very long. You can have many days out while the kids still have time to be bored hitting an old bicycle hoop with a bit of wood etc

Completely agree with both these posts. I remember being so bored in the holidays, and we had to entertain ourselves. We’d go on bike rides, play in the garden or in the street. Trips out were things like the library, the park and the swimming pool. This generation of children are more micro-managed with parents feeling like they have to fill every day with trips, crafts, activities etc. I don’t think it’s good for children.

It was pretty unthinkable then for 'whole families coming to eat every single Friday night at the country pub where I used to work as a teenager - 2 or 3 courses every week'.

Not the norm at all. Most people only ate out on holiday or for birthdays. Almost no-one would have been taking their family to the pub every week 30/40 years ago.

Very few people bought food outside the house at all. At about that time, we went on a coach trip to an attraction that was put on by an organisation that my parents were involved in and the lunches had been donated by M&S. Leftover sandwiches from the day before. We talked about that for months because it was so unusual to have sandwiches from M&S, it was probably the only time that happened before I was in my mid 20s.