AIBU to want to leave before family visit?

[Thenonstopcleaner]

We have DH family visiting today I already cancelled on them last week due to me not being well. I’m pretty much immobile at the minute due to my condition. The house is a dump and I’m so embarrassed by it. But I can’t clean how I want too. I’ve suggested we get a cleaner to DH but he just laughs and says what’s the point.

DH still fast asleep in bed and they are coming at 11. DH mum is a clean freak and I usually get the house sparkling before she is here.

Am I supposed to just sit here in this mess? I feel like asking my mum to pick me up just to get out of the house I’m so embarrassed by it. I’ve done what I can but it’s not enough.

Yes, call your mum and ask her to take you back to hers. Lie on the sofa and let her make you a cup of tea and ideally some lunch. Have a little pamper.

And when DH complains tell him that next time either he cleans or you'll go out again.

If you go now, he'll still be asleep when they knock on the door anyway!

Why hide pots in the dishwasher instead of turning it on? Stay and tell them I'm sorry for the mess, I'm ill and can't do it. They'll be able to see what a useless lump their DS is.

He sounds like a shocker or a husband ltb

He's meant to cherish you, to care about you and want to do things that make you happy.
He's a slob and a misogynist. He's showing his contempt, every pot and mess is a visual 'fuck you.'. I'd be divorcing and enjoying a future clean, happy house.

Id wake him up so he can get on with cleaning

I'd explain what an utter looser their son is to them. How you've been so ill for a week, but he refuses to clean. Tell him he's a real disappointment to you.
Why the hell are you cooking him any dinner?!
Do NOT host them, offer teas etc.
If you've had enough of them, head up to your bedroom.
If you go to your mum's he will minimise how ill you are and won't admit to being a lazy fucker.
This would be a wake up call for me.

I'd get her to pick you up after the MIL arrives and you tell MIL - ill, lazy son etc

He’s going over there now with the kids but he’s blamed it on me and said I’m not well. Which isn’t a lie but it kind of is it’s because he doesn’t want to clean.

it’s a difficult situation for me because I love my kids and I want to be with them everyday. But I can’t care for them on my own so I’m kind of stuck until I can have surgery and get better.

You should have let his parents in to show how useless their son is and how he is not looking after you. Then they could have all pitched in and cleaned. I don’t understand why he is not taking care of you when you’re ill.

Sorry to hear this - focus on you for this period; keep these receipts and actually keep posting here because you need to understand that what is going on in this relationship is not healthy. Your OH is not caring for you properly. So plan your next part of ur life. You were stressed about this situation and unable to do anything about it. But read it back to urself, ur OH was expecting you to sort it, but on this occasion you couldn’t. So instead of being understanding and caring he played brinkmanship - that is unkind. And now he is blaming you - thats not right OP.

MIL is a clean freak use this to your advantage. Burst into tears as soon as she walks through the door about how overwhelmed you are with your health and her son just will not help, she's got such a lovely spotless house and so you're not sure why he doesn't help because she clearly taught him how.

Don't go to your mum's. Stay and tell MIL that you've been unwell and DH has been completely useless.

Why is it some other woman's problem that the OP is married to a man who thinks housecleaning is the natural job of the half of the population who have a vagina?

YABU to be embarrassed by the state of the house when you are seriously unwell. Get your ducks in a row for when the kids are grown and get rid of this useless man.

Have read your updates but honestly if he’s not going to clean whilst you’re unwell, for goodness sake get a cleaner!

Let his mother see what she’s brought up. Hopefully she will give him what for, for his lack of care for you and your feelings.