AIBU to feel cautious about a family holiday in Minnesota?

[TizerRealizer]

I am reposting this question here as I'd like to hear the opinions of others.

My DH is v keen for our family's summer holiday to take place in Minnesota this year. He connected with a newly found relative who lives there 18 months ago, and really wants the opportunity to meet him sooner rather than later as he is in his mid-70s (DH is mid-50s). We've been offered a chance to stay in their house throughout the holiday, and they seem excited at the possibility of meeting us.

The issue is my DH is white, I'm black, so our 2 DC are mixed race (both in their older teen years). For various practical reasons we all need to take our holiday together.

Anyway, am I right to have reservations about this, considering recent history? The relative lives 10 miles away from where the trouble spots were with the ICE agents, BUT, if we go we'd want to visit the main parts to see the sites, etc. I really don't want DH to miss out, and we'd like our DC to meet this new relative (I believe other relatives may be nearby). Have things calmed down there now, or is there still an undertone of racial tension? I've searched online to find out the current situation, but am going round in circles.

I've suggested going next year instead, but my DH is worried/upset about this due to the advanced age of the relative.

Please vote:
YANBU: I am right to be cautious about this holiday. Choose somewhere else.
YABU: I am being too cautious. Go ahead and enjoy Minnesota.

I’d try to get in touch with people who actually live there rather than asking on here

www.tripadvisor.co.uk/ShowForum-g28944-i371-Minnesota.html

My sister is out there a lot to see relatives, a couple of times a year .. in fact she’s just got back. You’ll be fine, your biggest problem will be the weather

Gosh that’s a tough one. If it’s Minneapolis, then you could avoid the downtown area anyway. There aren’t masses of things to actually do downtown, although I think there’s an art museum from what I remember. There are beautiful smaller neighbourhoods to visit and there’s a trail system that runs from the neighbourhoods into downtown that you can bike or walk along.

I was there last year and had no bother, although I’m white and I can pass as American unless I open my mouth. I totally understand your reservations in being cautious about visiting. Perhaps you could apply for the ESTAs while you do further research? Although they’re often super quick, sometimes it can take a few weeks for them to come through.

I wouldn't go to anywhere in the US anyway, and I'm white, with a white husband. I certainly wouldn't go if I was in a mixed race relationship.

Could your husband's relative come over here instead?

@DilemmaDelilah may I ask your reasons not to travel anywhere in the US at all please?

How do you pass as American?

I don't think I'd want to be there right now. Let your husband go alone.

My niece and nephew are mixed race and I don't think I'd want to take them on holiday somewhere where people that look like them - non-white - are being persecuted on the street, dragged from their homes, and in the worse case, shot. I mean, it's educational. But is it a family holiday...?

Americans come in all shades. Some of my American family are of Indian origin, some are Irish and white. I don’t get the passing thing either!

I would pass as Indian if I went to India until I opened my mouth as I am half Indian, but with America, it makes no sense!

My understanding is that the reason there were flash points in Minnesota is that it's a liberal and democrat-voting state with a politically active citizenry. There is relatively convincing information that Trump/ICE were trying to provoke them. But what that says to me is that the population seem like they will be welcoming to your family. It also sounds like the ICE crackdown in Minnesota is largely over. So I would say that if you are willing to go to the USA at all right now then Minnesota is not a particularly bad choice.

@Tulipvase@Iwannaeatapasty

Clumsy phrasing I suppose, but agents looked for those they perceived could be illegal immigrants. Being obviously white, not Hispanic, Black, Asian, etc., just meant that on first glance one is not the first target. People who had legal immigration status were taken into custody, presumably because they fitted the demographic.

@TizerRealizer there is so much mad stuff going on there at the moment and it feels so unsafe. And I think Trump is actually dangerously insane and who knows what dreadful things he will do next!

Minnesota is a blue state. You'll be fine.

No way would I risk it (I’m not white) and certainly not with my DC. Red state or blue, my general perception of Americans is that they are polite and welcoming to holidaymakers. But politically, the situation is volatile and holidays should not involve undue stress over the safety and wellbeing of your family. DH can go by himself if he is that keen.

Not the person you asked, but also white and wouldn't go to the USA for the forseeable future.

Frankly, the country just seems like a powder keg ready to go off. I honestly believe there's a civil war coming. It might not be for 5 years, it might not be for 10, but it could be tomorrow, and I've got no desire to be there when it does.

I don’t live in Minnesota but I do live in a state that was targeted by ICE, I have colleagues who were detained, and my office is in one of the areas that was heavily targeted by ICE to the extent that we locked our doors, and had protocols ready for when ICE visited (which they did).

Right now we are fairly relaxed and life is back to normal - we no longer lock our office doors in the day for example.

But that’s not to say things won’t kick off again over the summer or in the next couple of years.

Personally I would wait if I were you.

Yeah, I'm thinking of the joke in How I Met Your Mother about this as Marshall's home state: 'Are there any black people in Minnesota?' 'If Prince is on tour, no'

Also, is it going to be a great family holiday destination? What does your husband think you could spend time doing beyond seeing relatives?

Im dual national, but grew up in the US. Honestly, from a racism/immigration enforcement standpoint, Minnesota is a great place to visit. It was targeted by ICE because it’s relatively progressive and multiethnic compared to other parts of the Midwest. You are tourists who do not want to stay, clearly visiting for a short while, and you are English speaking. Yes, there are always horror stories, but any trouble and you are not the sort anyone wants to detain. You’d be refused entry or simply deported back. Just avoid areas of civil unrest.

All that said, I would absolutely not go to Minnesota to stay with a random you basically don’t know. This might be a ‘distant family member’ but you don’t know if they are safe around your children, have a history of child sexual offences, are cooking meth in their basement, or have a drinking problem. Go visit but stay locally and make trips to see them. If the trip isn’t affordable, unless this is a grandparent, perhaps just Dh goes alone or you delay until you can afford it.

Go for it! I don’t know what sort of situation might arise where you think you’ll be in danger, regardless of who is the president.
As soon as you open your mouth people will see you are a tourist.
There are something like 60 million black people in North America.