AIBU to skip the parade because of autism and crowding?

[CollectingAllTheACEs]

I’ve posted this on a previous thread but would like further advice. So I’m autistic, 40 years old and not diagnosed until 35, very ‘high functioning’ and an absolute expert at masking. The biggest things that cause me issues are plans, routines, and sometimes sensory overload. The episodes of the latter have been very brief and far between and I’m usually just fine taking myself away from the issue.

I’m also a massive arsenal fan. And they e just won the league and also potentially the champions league this weekend. I booked to go to London with a friend and have booked a fan park where I know we will get a seat and not have to worry about getting in. I know it will be busy but there are quieter areas, toilets etc.

since then we’ve won the league and a parade has been arranged which I originally said I would go to with my friend and my mum who’s also coming down. I’ve now seen though that over a million people are expected around the route on the day and I seriously don’t think I can cope. There’s nowhere to escape to if I needed to

i don’t know how my mum and friend would feel if I decided not to go. Mum would be ok I think and her and my friend know each other well but don’t think he’d be happy.

i just don’t know what to do…

I don’t have the excuse of autism, but I feel very uncomfortable and cannot cope with crowds. I definitely wouldn’t go to this as I simply wouldn’t be able to manage. IMO it is perfectly reasonable not to attend an event you’d find unbearable - I’d expect my friends and family to understand that. Why wouldn’t they?

they’re both seeing the parade as the main event where as I’m more bothered about the match Saturday

I'd tell them both, ASAP, 'hey, sorry about this but the whole parade thing has got too big for me to enjoy it. Dunno if you two still wanna go together? You know I wouldn't back out unless I had to. Have fun, see you soonish x'

Just say you think it will be too crowded so you won't enjoy it and you have decided against going.

I was in Liverpool last year on the day of their parade and it was absolutely nuts, they had so much more people turn up than expected, trains were packed, and unfortunately there was the big incident too, however I think police will have definitely looked at what happened there and learned from it, and I think the police will be very well prepared but I do think it will be crowded!

But if you are a fan this is what the parade is all about ! You never know if it will happen again next year, the next 5 years or it takes another 20 so this is the time to celebrate, and if they pull of Saturday (which I hope they do) it will be even a bigger cause for celebration!

Are you and the people you are going with able to walk distances of a few miles ? It's likely tubes around Highbury / Islington and Finsbury Park will be packed, possibly even closed down if deemed too busy so look at alternative routes you could maybe walk too. I imagine Euston station will also be packed with people coming in from suburbs and buses may be diverted?

Also bring water / snacks / comfortable clothes, shoes prepared for weather conditions. Power Bank for your phone so you can see transport updates?

So best to plan as much as you can but also factor in that if it gets too much / overwhelming there is a route you can take to get away from it all.

It does sound like they are expecting a big crowd but they are also getting as prepared as they can for it.

@Letsgodancing ive practically just had a panic attack reading your post. We’re out out to watch the champions league final the night before too

My DH is going to the parade. DD and I are staying home as it will just be too busy to enjoy

Yup, just say what the others have said. I went to participate in a march last year about something that mattered to me. I was with 2 friends, all ND. It was hot, bright, loud, slooooooow, we could not get away from the drummers - every time we tried to get distance from the drummers they just came around again somehow. There were other random noise making things. In the end we left. We felt bad, we really wanted to step up for an issue close to our community, but lessons were learned.

This is how I feel but I’m also a total people please. But

a) my mum has ignored me texting her my concerns because being on the golf course is more important
b) my friend is pissed off because he ‘has mental health issues too’ - um yeah he’s just got out of a 2.5 year stretch in a psych hospital… due to a coke addiction!

I didn't mean to panic! Just gives some suggestions but also some facts, but if you think it's too much, you may be right just to enjoy Saturdays nights game and watch the parade highlights from a comfortable spot for you!

@CollectingAllTheACEs seriously don't go.
If your mum has an issue with it then stop making plans for events with her.
As for your friend....not a true friend if he insists you have to go.
Being a football fan is meant to be a fun hobby. You don't need to do something you don't want to do for a hobby.

tell your friend that’s fine, you won’t make him do anything he can’t manage!
And really your mum doesn’t need to respond. You know what you need. They can decide what to do for themselves..