AIBU to cut ties with difficult in-laws after years of problems?

[jennyfromthemegablocks]

This is a bit of a long post but I am going to try and include as much detail as I can. I basically want to completely cut my in laws out our lives. Me and DH have been together for 15 years, a year ago we had a DD.
in the early years of our relationship - we were in our very early 20s, quite reckless and I decided to move in with him and his mum and stepdad. They were literally the worst 4 years of my life (not all 4 was spent with them but nearby).
his stepdad is totally racist (I am Muslim but non practicing, my DH is white catholic also non practicing) but the type of comments that would spew out of his stepdads mouth and still does is just vile and his dm just excuses it by saying ‘oh well we can’t be racists our DIL is brown’
then there’s the greedy money grabbing side - stepdad took credit out in DH name, defaulted and got him a CCJ DH was unaware this had happened at the time. They live a pretentious middle class lifestyle they cannot afford, have asked us for money on several occasions and basically beg, steal and borrow to live yet feel like they are in a suitable position to provide ‘words of wisdom’ neither one of us can take them seriously. They move from house to house never lasting in one place for more than 2 years (pretty sure they just stop paying rent and get thrown out).
They also stole my phone when we lived with them because they thought DH was going to convert and they were so hellbent against that they were sending my dad messages from it and knew info they otherwise couldn’t have known. Denied all knowledge of that ever happening.
afre 4 years we moved 200 miles away back to my home creating that much needed distance then when DD was born they never bothered to come and see her but expect us to take her to see them then make us feel guilty about it. We both work full time and to be honest we just don’t want to go.
dh doesn’t really talk to them all that much I’m sure he won’t miss them. AIBU to want to cut ties with them altogether. After all these years I just can’t be bothered with them anymore and I don’t want their bad vibes around DD

What does your husband want regarding DD?

I think you need to talk to your husband about if thats something he wants to happen.

It doesn't sound like you have much contact with them now, and your DH isn't bothered about seeing them. Who initiates contact?, I'm wondering if he stops phoning them will they bother? Especially if they never travel to you, the relationship might naturally fizzle out

He doesn’t phone them to be honest - at best he sends them a WhatsApp message every now and then with a picture of DD but that’s it. It’s just the guilt tripping that’s ridiculous. They expect us to travel to theirs at Christmas - we tried not to go last year but the constant barrage of phone calls and messages saying how shit we are as people was endless.
We forgot Mother’s Day last year - naturally because I had a 4 month old and it was my first Mother’s Day as a new mum so DH was making an extra effort for me. He forgot to call his mum and then stepdad just kept sending barrage of horrible text messages. Like they have EVER made an effort for us

Better for both sides to not bother anymore . You are all nearly there anyway .

It sounds like you don’t need to formally cut them off. Just don’t bother with them. Let your husband maintain minimal contact and never visit.

You don't have ties to them anyway, delete their numbers, it's your husbands responsibility to visit and text them if he feels the need.
Decline any guilt trips and let them expect whatever they want, it's their business.

You can go NC and honestly it’ll be bliss for you.

Your DH needs to make his own decision and it may be different to yours.

You then need to agree on boundaries for your DD.

OP, I think you should be guided by what your DH wants, as they’re his parents. He needs to let them know that their behaviour is causing a rift that is likely to become permanent if they don’t mend their ways. I would find the CCJ (amongst other things) extremely difficult to get past.