AIBU to feel jealous that my husband finds parenting play easier?

[Brank]

DD is 5 and is a typical kid of that age - full of energy, enthusiasm, questions, flitting from one thing to another, wanting to play endlessly. She’s an only child and so the pressure to play falls on me and DH and to be honest, I hate it; I hate playing games, roleplaying, repetition. I’ve no time or interest in any of it.

DH was ambivalent when we decided to have kids. He agreed to try for children because it’s what I wanted. He doesn’t like kids in general, has never been around them.

Yet he has an inexhaustible reserve of energy and enthusiasm when it comes to all that stuff - role playing, messing around, art and crafts. You name it, he steps up and steps in and they have a great time together.

I noted to him that I was surprised he loved all that stuff and he said “well she’s only really got
us hasn’t she”, and it made me feel guilty.

AIBU to feel slightly jealous of how easy he seems to find it?

The hope when you have two parents is that there is a chance for share and balance. I’m the same, hate silly play and rolling about/screaming and running and being daft. It’s important though, DH does all of that. I love organising family treats, and colouring, and reading with DC. What are your strengths in the house? I’m sure you’ll have some. What do you think your preferred age will be? As she will be different at different points and you’ll both be better/worse at different things

I don't love role play or imaginary games so I'll do it for 15 mins (total focus, no phone) and then say I'll do something else and watch. But I will do the things I enjoy more without limit e.g. reading books together or going to the woods or running a bath in the afternoon and playing up there. I think you just have to find something you can bond over and do it.

Same as me and DH. DH said the other day “he gets very different things from both of us doesn’t he”, and he does and I like that, we play to our strengths.

DS is full of energy (just like DH) so from DH he gets a playmate - chasing, wrestling, monsters, playing with the trains, the dinosaurs, the duplo.

From me he gets reading and books, quiet thing, cuddles, more conversation, and all the thought that goes into understanding his development, parenting tactics, finding things he likes, anticipating his needs, keeping him clothed, etc!

And obviously he gets oodles of love from both of us, just in our own ways.

I agree with the above two posters we all have things were better/more at ease with I love colouring, reading stories, looking up facts, playing board games etc but I'm hopeless at being a police man, playing tig or wrestling which my husband exceeds at.

I also think we find different stages easier I embraced every second of my velcro baby, did all night feeds, pram strolls, baby clubs and loved it but I am finding the pre school age tough so find my husband is doing more atm.

IMO it's important to show our children that not everyone will love every single thing they want to do but there are other interesting and fun things they can do and it's important to try a bit of everything.

Yeah it's always hit and miss how people react when they have children.

Sounds like you've lucked out, op

Why did you want to have children? What things do you enjoy? Can you focus on those?

I would just be happy that your dd has an engaged dad.

I’m sure you do other things for your dd that make her happy.

meh, I abhorred playing, my husband loved it and did it all, games of football, trips to the park, hide and seek, you name it, he was up for it. I did the other stuff, the cuddles, the chats, the snuggling up to watch her programs together, the reading stories, getting her dressed, taking her to the toy shop and buying her toys,

and he still does it now she’s a young adult, he is bang up for a game of chess or monopoly.

i never felt remotely guilty, didn’t occur to me, we both had our strengths, she has had and has the best of both worlds.

God I hate role play. Honestly be grateful your DH is happy to do this. She’ll grow out of it and you guys will have your own thing. By which time she and dad will be beautifully bonded. Sounds like a winner

Do you do all the boring mental load stuff of doctors appointments, pack lunches, parents evening etc. Because there are lots of aspects to parenting.

Also I don’t have an only but I have a four year age gap and I've always encouraged DS to amuse himself whilst putting him in lots of positions of having other children to play with. I find imaginary play super boring despite being a huge imagination child! I think it's nice for kids to play with other kids as much as possible.

Probably because you get lumped with all the boring relentless shit parts and have no energy for the fun stuff.

I find when we get someone to watch DS for a half day on a weekend, I come back home ready to play. But if I've spent Saturday morning cooking, washing up, laundry etc, I have zero in me to play with DS.

Meh again, my husband fully pulled his weight, I still disliked playing,

I was like you OP, and my DH the same as yours. I took full advantage and lived the fact that he was
so great with the kids.