AIBU to want to warn my ex's new girlfriend?

[ChrissyMT]

My ex has accused me of being controlling because I am not happy with the current child arrangements we made (whilst I was still trauma bonded and under his manipulation). I now see wood from the trees and want to renegotiate, nothing unreasonable or dramatic.

He has told me that his new girlfriend of 10 months doesnt agree with how I have been and sides with him flawlessly through and through and she has the full picture on 'how I am'.

She would run miles if she knew what he was capable of and what he put me and previously girls through. How has she not seen this yet?!

I wont, but the burning desire I have to tell her everything causes an unexplainable rage of injustice inside me!!

How do I move past this?!

Your hearts in the right place but your head is not.
He`s out your life now let them get on with it he is her problem now think yourself lucky its over with.

You need to move on with you and live your life.
Plus 9 out of every 10 wont listen to what you have to say so let her find out for herself.

Move forwards not backwards dont stay in the past or try to rescue the next.

Seen this exact situation so many times with my friends and their exes...she'll see him for who he is eventually, so he'll get his comeuppance. Also do not discount the fact that he's lying to her and manipulating her the same way he did to you. Go ahead and feel sympathy for her for being fooled by him, and do not give him the satisfaction of ever having any response from you other than an unbothered' Oh right'. This is exclusively about control - he wants to get back at you and exert control over you and he's using any petty tactic he can to do it. Laugh at him.

Ask yourself " I was with him x amount of months/ years how did I not see his true colours either" and you'll be able to see it from her perspective. It's up to her to see his red flags or not or in some cases some people do change or get better at manipulating . Don't let either of them have power over you , let them say or think whatever they like about you , that's not your problem let that be a them issue. Your allowed to change your mind regarding your child boundaries are allowed, your the mum. Besides it takes a while for the mask to slip which I'm sure it will as long as your child is not being effected by their relationship I'd let them get on with it. Decide on your co-parenting needs and discuss this with your ex not his partner because let's face it he'll prob fuck that up too and then you'll be back to square one for your own sanity cut off all contact unless it's for your child

She’d just further agree with him, and you’d gain nothing from it. Focus on your own peace

She'll see it when she's ready to see it. You need to focus on yourself.

Sadly, there’s nothing you can do.

I do get what you’re saying, as women it’s our job to safeguard other women.

Maybe you could message her and just say you’re there if she ever needs support.

Just cheerfully gloss over any mindfuckery like this, and move forward with your negotiations. She may have said this, or he may be making up crap to annoy you.

His girlfriend has probably heard a load of bullshit about you from him. If you tell her anything, she probably won't believe you, he's already painted you as the crazy ex. Be clinical with your negotiating and don't get drawn into any other discussion. Would you be able to go to mediation so there's a 3rd party to keep things on track?

You’ll be seen as nothing more than crazy ex

Pretty much all of us exes are lunatic and unreasonabl. Keep your cool.

Abd cant spell