Anyone else’s Landlord do this? AIBU to be irritated?

[Specksofwhiteallaround]

For context we’ve been renting this house from our Landlady for just over ten years now and she’s hands down the most intrusive landlord I’ve ever had. Can be very free with her opinions on how we live and has form for dropping in unannounced as she’s passing by, if she does let us know she’s coming it’s with as little notice as possible.
So fairly or not I find her very irritating generally but what’s really annoying me is the last couple of years she's developed a habit of scheduling in visits to the house every single time my son is off school. My son has autism and attends a special school, he really doesn’t like having strangers in our home which she is aware of. As my husband frequently travels for work at short notice I don’t work so she could come anytime during term time but she repeatedly turns up during the holidays, usually with one days notice and disrupts our plans. I just don’t understand why she herself wouldn’t rather come when my sons at school, everything is tidied away etc.
The last straw is her texting me at 6:30am on bank holiday Monday to say she wanted to call in at some point that afternoon to drop in some paperwork to us. She wasn’t too happy at being told we weren’t available that short notice but agreed to reschedule so now she’s coming today at some point between late morning and early afternoon so we’re wasting a day just hanging around waiting for her and I spent the hottest day of the year deep cleaning downstairs to circumvent comments on my not having hoovered over the bank holiday weekend and how my son really doesn’t need that many toys out…
Is anyone else’s landlord like this? Am I unreasonable to find this annoying and wish she’d try to schedule this in outside of the holidays?

I know. And given his additional needs any upheaval will be even worse than the heartbreak mine have been through.

Do not tell her you’ve had an offer accepted until you’ve exchanged. She will want to do viewings and have all the trades in repainting etc.
you’ll probably end up with a longer cross over, but it will give you time to move at a slower pace and clean the old one up

Sorry not sure I understand?

moving isn’t straight forward

This is a lot of why we’ve put up with her. We live somewhere small and quite rural, there really haven’t been many properties we could afford, in the right catchment area that won’t affect his travel arrangements come available.

We were also desperate to avoid eviction for the first few years. Due to our circumstances at the time we had to borrow the deposit from my dad and no way could we have afforded to leave at short notice. There’s also been years where we haven’t seen her outside of inspections. It just seems to have ramped up again lately with the decorating she’s been wanting to do but now we’re so close to buying a house it doesn’t seem worth rocking the boat with her.

I was hesitant to add this but I genuinely worry she might be beginning with dementia. There was an incident when she told us to empty a room for painting, and it turned out to be the wrong room and she’d told the painter a completely different job. She keeps telling me the same thing repeatedly, as in during the same conversation and is forgetting dates and times a lot. Just yesterday my husband answered her email about the visit tomorrow, she answered him, then five minutes later replied to herself in the email chain… so definitely think best to keep our heads down until we’re ready to leave.

I take on board all that

but calmly and politely saying that something “doesn’t date work for me but how about xyz?” OR “please dont talk to me like that” is hardly likely to cause her to kick you out and, if it was, then - wow, at least you are no longer at the whim of someone clearly quite unhinged.

Arent you moving now?

Given latest post… definitely good you’re getting out asap. This is
only going one way - down

What was this critical paperwork that she had to hand deliver and see you sign it?

What paperwork does she need to give you? Probably something about the new renters rights… I would find information and give it right back to her. Never stay in or cancel plans. It’s unacceptable. She is very very very unreasonable and is actually breaking the law.

Could you please explain what I’ve written here that has made you come to the assumption that my child is destroying the house and that my neighbours have been talking to my landlord? That’s a pretty insulting conclusion to leap to. Just because he’s autistic doesn’t mean his behaviour affecting the house or my neighbours at all.

Ignore. They are making up their own story.

Hold tight until you can leave, I think. Good luck.

She used to be more willing to arrange dates so I’m not sure what changed there, maybe she's more busy, but now if you say your busy it’s fifty fifty if she’ll be happy to rearrange or just come back with a load of reasons why it has to be that date making it harder and harder to say no.

The comments are easier to ignore, it’s always said in a way that’s hard to react to. If I blow up at her because she comments on the amount of toys my son has it makes me look petty, because it’s often framed as oh isn’t he a luck boy. Sounds like an innocuous comment but said so often its obvious she thinks were spoiling him or hoarding or whatever.

The new renters rights paperwork ironically. I’ve no idea why she left it so late considering the fine she was risking. Happy for her to drop it in etc, just didn’t appreciate it being last minute in half term. I almost wonder if she’d forgotten it.

There’s a happy medium between “blowing up” and saying diddley-squat. Ie calmly say “no need to speak in that tone to me please”.

Do you have an idea when you’ll be moving? Is it in same catchment etc?

Existing tenants don’t need to
sign anything . Automatic transfer to new rights.

If you are in the UK she has to give a minimum notice of 24 hours. Now the Renters Rights Act has come in she cannot issue a Section 21 no fault eviction notice so I would text her that. A day’s notice would be appreciated before visiting.

We’re not far enough into the whole buying process to have a moving date. The new house is only a ten minute walk away from this one though and my sons school transport pick up another child near the new house so will as little disruption as possible for him all going well.

It's 24 hours notice and this is like nothing I've experienced. Are you renting through and estate agent or straight to her

I did say I wasn’t sure if it required us to sign it or if she just wanted to cover her own ass. It’s not her dropping stuff in and signing for it that I had an issue with, it was that she could have done it earlier at a more convenient time but chooses not to.

I can see from this thread that most people seem have no trouble telling their landlords where to go which is good but I was more curious if there were other landlords out there who acted similarly.

Straight to her which in hindsight was a mistake but we were desperate at the time and it was the only house we could find that would accept our cats.

She could have posted through method. You didn’t need to sign anything. I can’t even think what you would have signed! For existing tenants the transfer was automatic

Great news! And I reckon that you’ll be surprised how well he adapts to the move

The paperwork is a requirement of the RRA. It's good practice to deliver in compliance with the CPR and to get a confirmation the tenant reads it and understands it, and to answer any questions the tenant may have about the new tenancy terms and conditions.

She didn't leave it late - she has complied with the regulatory requirement.

Until recently I was a landlord, had four different sets of tenants - never met them once, never went to the property once while it
was rented out, never had any contact details for the tenants. The agent did an inspection twice a year and arranged any repairs. I had no direct interaction with the tenants at any point. This LL is harassing you and it will be a breach of your contract.