I (F39, married) met an older man (M60s, married) at a work event about a year ago. He was in a much more senior role in the business but not in any position of power over me, we're in completely different sections of a large organisation so wouldn't be working together in any way. We had a nice chat and he was new to the area, so I felt maybe he was looking to get to know more local people.
After that meeting he emailed and immediately asked if email was the best way to contact me, which came off as if he was trying to get my phone number. This wouldn't be a typical thing to ask straight away in our industry, so I just replied yes, email is best for me.
Since then we had coffee a couple of times, but I felt I was putting him off a bit as he'd ask to meet pretty soon again after our previous meeting. I have a busy life with young kids, work is usually quite intense if I'm in the office, so I don't even see my good friends that often! The frequency of the messages meant I'd sometimes not reply to him for a while.
Recently he had a big work thing and messaged me to meet to catch up so he'd have someone to celebrate with. I felt a bit guilty at having not met up earlier so agreed. He then suggested (daytime) cocktails rather than coffee. The vibes were quite weird and I don't know why but I have this instinctive reaction that I don't want to see him again.
To be honest, part of it is our different ages: I feel like he kind of treats me like I'm a peer. He made a weird comment when I mentioned something he had in common with my FIL: "oh, you're reminding me I'm the same age as your FIL!" Well yeah, you are! But when I write that it makes me worry I'm being ageist and I should be able to relate to people of any age as friends. He also said some stuff about "never knowing what people are REALLY thinking... [pause]" that came across a bit... Odd?
The other thing is that, after that meeting, he sent 2 emails the next day (I didn't reply) and then tried to arrange another meeting the next week. I mean, what would we have to catch up on after only a week?! I replied (honestly) that I wasn't available that day and nothing else. He's now emailed again about being near our workplace, kind of hinting at another meeting.
I dunno, to message a work acquaintance so much just seems a bit weird. My husband says maybe he's just lonely, but did think the several emails in a row last week was also a bit much. My problem is that I don't know how to explain I'm not comfortable with this kind of 'intimate friends' relationship he seems to be trying to build with me without seeming rude, and I can't think of anything else to do but awkwardly not reply. AIBU?