To ask you what the unwritten style rules are?

[uglylikethis]

I am, largely, a very unstylish person. I pick comfort over everything.

I would love to look a little more put together and fashionable day to day. What are the unwritten style rules i’m missing out on?

Wear clothes that fit you.
Wear clothes that suit you.
Wear clothes that reflect the person you are, and the person you want to be.
Wear them with confidence.

Hate black shoes and bags
always gold jewellery
leopard is considered a neutral, I love it

A black handbag does NOT go with everything. If you only want one multi purpose day bag, choose tan leather (if you want leather) or something similar in a fabric etc. Or a signature bag you really love (that is not black).

I find it really hard to use a brown/tan bag. There are so many different shades and somehow they never seem to 'go' with my shoes!

I do agree that black isn't perfect for all occasions - it can be too heavy in summer. Does anyone else find that their leather bags all look somehow wrong in hot weather or with summer clothes?

Am currently using a grey and cream spotted fabric bag that I got from Vinted, on weekends, but this is something I can never seem to get right.

I tend to use my longchamp black tote bag no matter the weather. It’s the perfect size.

I do have black Michael Kors tote which I take to work everyday. I know it's not a great brand and I had to get the straps replaced because they frayed, but it's the one I end up with every day because it's sturdy, has the right compartments, goes with my work clothes and holds all the stuff I need everyday. But weekends, everything is not quite right. I bought an allsaints handbag and the strap is so wide and uncomfortable, or the strap isn't the right length or the weight is too much - there's always something that isnt quite right.

Showing too much flesh isn’t stylish.

This is very true. I've noticed recently with a couple of plus sized acquaintances that whatever shape people are what stands out are good, well fitting clothes. Sweatshirt? Ironed, clean, well fitting, in good condition. Jeans, again not tatty or baggy but the right size, clean and looked after. Clean, tidy shoes. Trainers are fine but not the ones you walked the dog in. After that, I guess, comes choosing good colours.
Just to add that that I often fail on all these points, I am no icon of perfection in orthopaedic shoes.

Exactly what I would say.

Well fitting clothes that show off your good bits and gloss over the not so good!

Yeah I’ve not nailed the weekend bag

Ironing. Some structure/ tailoring to an outfit. Some colour coordination. The right shoes make an outfit - the wrong ruin it.

I just feel like I make everything look cheap and tacky.

I have a nice pair of linen trousers and a t-shirt on today. On someone else it would look chic and thrown together in the perfect way. I just look like I’m in my pyjamas. I hate it.

Iron your clothes and cover up more.

My personal choices are

• no red, pink or yellow
• no fussy patterns. I dress up plain clothes with scarves or jewellery
• no synthetic fabrics

On nobody would a t shirt and linen trousers not look like a pyjama, bffr!!

Too much flesh? Yes and yes. Unless actually on a beach have decent coverage. Boobs or legs - not both. Compare Spanish and Italian women of all sizes dressing for hot weather compared to the British. Often worth buying nice summer gear abroad. Often nicer designs and better quality.

"Quiet luxury screams class"

I wouldn't know just by looking at someone's clothes if they were luxury, quiet or otherwise

T shirts rarely look stylish. unless you have accessories or a t shirt with an unusual shape or fit.

A shirt or top with a bit more structure is much better.

AIBU to ask if you’re not aware of the existence of the Style & Beauty board, @uglylikethis?

(I always suspect that if people start a thread in AIBU for no obvious reason, they’re hoping for a fight.)

im sure you look lovely. You sound very down on yourself. A nice smile makes everyone look fab.

Personally though, I always avoid linen in trousers or dresses as weirdly it’s the only fabric that makes me hot and itchy - and I always look like a shapeless bag lady after an hour.

T shirts needs a good pair of shoulders, proportionate bust and neck/jawline, be the right colour for your skin, be of excellent fabric and cut with the right rest of outfit otherwise yes it can be a pyjama. T shirts are really not flattering on most people.

It’s difficult to give rules because everyone likes different things. I tend to always have manicured nails but in a nude colour so they go with everything and just look tidy.
Make up minimal but again, tidy and polished.
I wear lots of mid length floral dresses that cinch in at the waist and have square or scoop necklines as this is what I find most flattering on me. I don’t tend to follow trends as such, I just like what I like and I know what suits me.

Could you get your colours done? This is usually a good starting point!

'Don't have chipped nail varnish - no polish is much better than chipped.'

Couldn't agree more with this. If you're going to make your nails a thing, you absolutely have to keep up with maintenance. I have so many colleagues who have gels or acrylics but don't get them redone for weeks and weeks so there is a hideous huge gap at the bottom of the nail . Awful

Short clean nails are absolutely fine and will take you anywhere

They do some tshirts like this in yours clothing at the moment.

Also John Lewis offers a stylist service I believe?