AIBU to take the full six weeks signed off after surgery?

[Phoneshop]

I’ve just had a surgery on my kidney and bladder. Before this I’ve been ill for about 5 months, on and off. The consultant that did the operation has given me a fit note for 6 weeks. When I gave it to HR they did start to ask a few questions about why I need so much time off as it now counts as long term sick leave.

Would you still take the time off? I feel guilty now. I’m 1 week in to my recovery and have a lot of pain especially as I currently have a catheter and a ureteric stent. They’re both very uncomfortable and impact my sleep.

Can this cause me to lose my job?

Maybe it's the heat, or because I'm tired, but I don't get this... What does it mean?

When you take your hand out of the water, you cannot see that your hand was ever in there - it doesn't leave any kind of impression in the water.

Ah ha, thank you @WearyAuldWumman I get it now.

I used to be a nurse, @Phoneshop, and my view is that if you rush back too soon, you are more likely to need more time off because you won’t be fully recovered.

OMG your condition sounds very painful and unfair especially since it seems you've had a medical injury. I hope you recover well and soon.

I can only say that I had minor eye surgery recently and I was told to take a full week off work. "Be kind to yourself my surgeon said." I wasn't. I went back to work after 3 days, I didn't want to be seen as weak. So.......for the first time in my life I developed cystitis and had to go to A & E to get antibiotics. Writhed in pain for 2 days. Everyone agreed, my immune system couldn't look after me because I just wasn't resting and recuperating after my surgery. Lesson learnt!

I’d take the full 6 weeks, and longer if needed. Your health comes first.

I’ve been in the same workplace for about 24 years. 10 years ago I was extremely ill and had to take months off sick, including following an operation where I received 3 units of blood. The following year I was quite ill again and luckily had another operation where it was discovered that my thyroid was compressing my windpipe. However, that surgeon did not cure the original reason I had the operation and I ended up getting iller and iller. Eventually I travelled abroad to a surgeon who specialises in the failed surgery I had and had major surgery with him in March. My gp gave me a sick cert for 6 weeks as he knows I’ve been unwell for years. I had told my boss that I was given 6 weeks but would see how I felt about coming back sooner. As it turned out I was only back just shy of a month after the 6 weeks when I had some blood tests done. Turns out my symptoms were something much more serious than I thought and the hospital phoned me a few hours after the blood tests were taken to tell me to go straight to A n E where I spent 4 nights on an IV and a cardiac monitor. Even had medical students asking me questions as they had never come across anyone who had a mineral level as low as me!! I had put my symptoms down to recovering from surgery and vitamin B12 deficiency!! I won’t be rushing back to work and luckily can work from home next week. I could have had a heart attack or worse and my workplace wouldn’t have given a toss!

What a horrible example to set to the people who work for you.

As someone who did not take the 6 weeks after surgery and went back to work too soon, TAKE THE 6 WEEKS!

How on earth could minor eye surgery cause cystitis? I’ve had cataracts removed in both eyes with sedation and had no problems.

And also to add this is completely wrong. An employer can’t get rid of you for capability reasons if you have been signed off sick for six weeks and then you’re back to work. They can if long term it is proved you can’t do a job. Stop scare mongering.

I think you need the 6 weeks - you can always say you'll let them know if you do feel better sooner? But definitely don't rush back.

HR here (not in the UK). I would not let someone back early if they had a medical certificate saying they need a specific period of time off. If they did want to come back early, I would request medical clearance saying that they are ok to do that.

Take the 6 weeks.

There are some seriously appalling managers & HR people out there.

You’re off with genuine need and have had major surgery. It’s not like you said you’ve been off as you’re horrified the sky is blue (or some other wushu washy reason). You’ve had one continual sickness with genuine need.

Please take the 6 weeks

I think the point is that OP is dispensable to them so she should prioritise herself and her health and not them

Maybe you’re younger than me - I’m almost 70. Maybe you don’t work in such a demanding job as me? I was told by my GP that he thought I’d developed the cystitis because my immune system was depressed because I hadn’t rested sufficiently post my eye procedure.

i think your assertion that you had no problems is unhelpful. We’re all different!

I had same then got an infection that resulted in a further 6 weeks off , don’t go back to early

I also had my ureter damaged whilst having a hysterectomy. I had a nephrostomy for 7 months, catheter for 3 and several bouts of sepsis. I went back to work 2 months after my psoas hitch ( midline incision) I was still quite frail then and on a phased return. Take the time you need. If you rush it, it will take longer.

Did this also have a bad impact on your mental health? Emotionally it has been incredibly difficult, my life has been on hold for a long time.

Take the time off. HR have to ask questions but likely the person asking has no idea about your condition / surgery.

No need to feel guilty.

If you go back too early without allowing yourself time to heal, you risk being off again and possibly for longer.

Give your body the time it needs.

You've just had major surgery. Your employer is being unreasonable. Take the full 6 weeks off to allow yourself to heal and recover properly. Do not sacrifice your recovery for an employer who lacks compassion.

Same. I only took the 5 weeks and regretted it.

Absolutely this. I've seen it time after time.

I went back after 5 wks and my boss had the nerve to refer me to Attendance Management. It did not go well for him. The nurse who interviewed me was furious on my behalf.

It sounds like they are trying to bully you into going back early. A surgeon has said you will need 6 weeks to recover. Trust their judgement.

This
prioritise yourself here