WIBU for leaving my drunk partner asleep and returning downstairs?

[SeeFourSwans]

This happened a while ago so not really an AIBU but a WIBU.

I took my partner away for a long weekend for his birthday. Planned, booked, and paid for by me.

I drove us there (4 hours), sussed out the parking situation and booked the restaurants/made evening plans.

From the moment he woke up that day (day before his birthday), he was in a foul mood. Complained about having to pack (had left it last minute), complained about how long the drive was (I was driving), spent AGES complaining about the parking situation (secure underground garage which he deemed wasn't safe enough/cars were parked too close to each other. my car though so why was it his problem?), complained about the AirBnB, complained that the restaurant I had planned for lunch was shut and we had to go elsewhere. You get the idea.

Anyway, we went out that evening for drinks at a live music venue. The band were fantastic and we (I) was having a lot of fun drinking, dancing, chatting to another group of guys and girls. It was a brilliant evening. My DP obviously didn't agree and he got spectacular drunk. He wasn't throwing up or unwell but he was falling about, making an arse of himself and just needed to call it a night.

I took him back to the AirBnB which was actually just upstairs from the live music venue, made sure he was alright and in bed, made sure he had water and his phone if he needed me, then went back downstairs again for a couple of hours (I had just ordered myself another glass of wine before DP started acting silly and the barman said he'd keep it for me coming back).

This was around 8pm so I wasn't ready for bed and didn't want to sit around the flat on my own (and quite frankly I was sick fed up of him by this point), so I don't think I did anything wrong by going back out again.

DP obviously disagreed and I got the silent treatment the rest of the weekend and accusations for months after of "abandoning him" and cheating on him and he told his parents it was his worst birthday ever.

All irrelevant now, really, but WIBU for not standing vigil by his bedside all night?

geez. what a buzzkill. I would have taken my case, left him in the room and never returned.

I feel compelled to point out that you were unreasonable to leave a glass of wine with someone you don’t know for you to come back to. Clearly nothing happened but it would be so incredibly easy for someone (including the bar man) to slip something in your drink, especially if they’d seen what had happened and knew you would be on your own.

God, he sounds like a complete arse; I see he is now an ex and in my view you are well rid............

I am absolutely delighted he is your ex!

DH and I have been together 20+ years and if he got so hammered he couldn't carry on with the evening and I put him to bed and carried on myself, the next day he'd ask me if I had a good time and be grateful he hadn't ruined the evening.

What an absolute bell end and maybe it's not a cheating problem but a boyfriend problem!

You were absolutely right to do what you did and he's an arsehole for making you feel bad and making his mum think you were cheating on him!

You were having a good time so he drank too much, that really tells you everything you needed to know, he wanted to end your evening and for you to sit around and watch over him to make sure he was OK.
I'm glad you ditched him, he sounds like a right twat

He sounds like a whiney toddler. Good on you getting rid of him. Hope he took his nappies and dummies with him 🤣

He's your ex now, right? Sorry not read the whole thread just wanted to acknowledge your post. What a twat. You deserve better, ltb, etc.

Of course you weren’t wrong to finish the night he ruined by getting plastered. He was also an ungrateful shit. He made a lovely gift into a torture experience to fuck with you.

STBX?

So relieved to read that you dumped him. He sounds an absolute drain of negativity and you sound lovely: generous and fun.

Let me guess he didn't do anything super special for your birthdays like you tried to do for him

Wow i think you have my exh op. Ruined my 40th birthday.. He was an exh before I was 41..

Please don't waste any more time/money/oxygen on thie pathetic ungrateful excuse for a human!

I was going to say the same thing I thought my ex was a narcissist and he was a domestic abuser. This is exactly the sort of stuff he did, made every occasion about him and his dysfunction. I’m so glad you got away as have I. There’s not a day goes past that I don’t feel lucky to be able to enjoy my life again.

Oh you did the right thing. There is a certain sort of man who can't stand anyone else being happy, won't enjoy something you've worked hard on for him, I don't understand, but whatever you do or don't do you're wrong. How sensible that you didn't stick around as long as I did with a similar sort of idiot