To feel irritated by “if the genders were reversed” comments?

[BluntBrickOrca]

I’ve noticed this comes up a lot in discussions. Whenever a situation is being talked about, someone will say “if the genders were reversed…”

I understand the point they’re trying to make but I often find it frustrating because it shifts the conversation away from what’s actually being discussed into a hypothetical. I’d rather deal with what’s in front of me than reframe it entirely.

AIBU?

I always get those comments when I try to lust over a hot male celeb

Unreasonable!

Of course, each situation is unique and different. But there are undoubtedly double standards on MN, so I do understand why this is often said. And the comparison is often very valid.

Well, the idea of feminism is that men and women should be treated equal isn't it? So if someone is encouraging a member of one sex to have an affair (for example) while reprimanding the opposite sex for doing so it's not very fair.

I completely disagree. There’s quite a few threads where the poster refuses to reveal which one they are in a relationship, people get EXTREMELY annoyed. They get extremely annoyed as almost no one will do as you suggest and deal with ‘what’s in front of you’. For eg I’ve seen a few threads in the last couple of days about female ops getting drunk and being inappropriate with male colleagues and friends etc, and the majority of posters are full of mirth or sympathy for them. It’s quite rightly been pointed out that if the situation was reversed that this would be classed as sexual assault

It needs calling out tbh. Far too many times people let women off with stuff that they would never let men away with

I think it tells us a lot about where we are a society that you think this should not be called out. Women should be equal. Not superior. Not pick the bits we want but not the rest. Equal. So, yes, we should absolutely call it out when there is clear bias to one gender or the other. You are being incredibly unreasonable.

Absolutely SHOULD be called out. YABU.

Yabu

Why don't you want sexism being called out?

My husband is having an affair - "What a bastard!"
I'm having an affair - "Poor you. Your husband must be a bastard to drive you to that!"

You don't think double standards like that should be called out?

I think it’s absolutely valid most times as it shines a light on the double standards on here.