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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU as I’m leaving

8 replies

Happyfeet2794 · 24/05/2026 22:03

Ex partner and I splitting up I’m leaving with my clothes that’s it and no furniture his rules it’s his .

We have a Dd I bought her double bed it cost me over £600 she said I can take it to new place along with her pc I feel bad taking it for her , he will probably give me a hard time .

She wanted to originally stay between the family home and my new place ,

She is 18 and getting a job now and delayed uni for a year for medical reasons about to go for an operation but when i leave I known he won’t take care of her.

She has been very poorly but still studied , is doing very well but us splitting up I’m sure has not helped her mental health.

Im about to move out as he has been not been there for me or her main reason that’s why im leaving .

I take care of her, but I’m concerned as he did a food shop for himself and got nothing for her, she has no income , he knows this.

Should I buy a new bed and mattress ? Or leave and take it.

Its been so tough I’ve lost everything including so called friends , I love her and I feel bad about all of this .

OP posts:
KojaksLollipop · 24/05/2026 22:05

Buy new, if you can afford it. She needs her bed especially if she’s having an op, or does she want to live with you and thinks she can make a getaway if her bed I at yours?

ToKittyornottoKitty · 24/05/2026 22:07

Is she staying living in the family home? If so then she needs it more there than at your place

miaCara · 24/05/2026 22:10

Get her a new bed and leave the old one so she still has somewhere to sleep if she wants to stay in the family home.
I would bet that she will be staying with you more often though unless you both argue a lot. After all you will have the home comforts and food . Very important for a teenager

Happyfeet2794 · 24/05/2026 22:19

Thanks I figured this it’s her family home and she can be with us both .

OP posts:
Happyfeet2794 · 24/05/2026 22:27

KojaksLollipop · 24/05/2026 22:05

Buy new, if you can afford it. She needs her bed especially if she’s having an op, or does she want to live with you and thinks she can make a getaway if her bed I at yours?

Edited

Kojaks I think she will stay with me mostly we are very close x I would never make her choose I want her to have a relationship still with her Dad .

OP posts:
Mcdhotchoc · 24/05/2026 22:41

If you have a look around facebook there are often people giving away double bed frames, then you would only need a mattress.

jetlag92 · 24/05/2026 22:49

Why would you not take the bed? Will she not be living with you?

maryberryslayers · 24/05/2026 23:15

You paid for the bed and so it belongs to you. Take that and anything else you bought. Never mind his 'rules'. If he tries to stop you taking your own belongings gather your receipts/order confirmations and ask the police for assistance with leaving.

He can buy his own daughter a bed if he wants her to have the ability to stay with him.

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