DS wanting food at gone 9, AIBU to tell him to do it himself?

[Treebaubles]

Ok I’m prepared for people to say I’m unreasonable and will take it on board. We all had a large Sunday dinner today around 2. Beef, yorkshires etc. around 7 my OH asked my 14yo (yr 10) if he was hungry and he said no. As I wasn’t hungry either my oh just stuck on some frozen spare ribs for himself. So we didn’t make an evening meal but I pinched one of the ribs. If my son had been hungry we’d have made more effort. My DS went upstairs and me and OH sat and watched a film.
At 9.10, DS came down asking where food was, we said we hadn’t made any and there were some ready made meals in freezer if he was hungry. (High protein ones he has now and again and likes). He had a right strop on about how we hadn’t made food for him and that we should have said if we weren’t as he’d been waiting upstairs and he thought my OH had been cooking, and that we should have said if we weren’t.
Now, I don’t think we are being unreasonable as we offered him food at a reasonable time (which he refused) and there are meals there for him to do himself when it’s a non reasonable time, but he thinks we are totally unreasonable in not having made a meal.

He was offered food he said no,

at 14 he can sort himself out with a snack

Oh absolutely.

At 14, he can make himself some beans on toast. He was offered food, he didn’t want it, he can sort himself out.

Completely fine. He can sort himself out

Why would anyone think you are being unreasonable? Of course he can get himself food if he wants it.

Yabu for raising a completely spoilt ungrateful child who can’t do simple things that a 10 yr old should be able to. 14?!? Does he have no arms? Why can’t he get his own food? I think if my children ever dared speak to me like that - well, actually I don’t know what I’d do, because they just wouldn’t.

Tell him to make himself a sandwich

Thank you, I think I knew I wasn’t being unreasonable but the way he acted had me doubting myself. I think maybe he was hangry and tired. I wouldn’t say he’s spoiled (in general) but he does have his moments. He did make his own food but you’d swear OH and I had feasted on a roasted pig without him.

I thought this was going to be the poster from last week who wouldn’t let his teenager make toast or a cup of tea after 8.30! Yours was offered dinner, said no, and has access to stuff he can cook for himself. His whinging would get very short shrift in this house.

You’ve taken that so gracefully, I’m now thoroughly ashamed of my response. My apologies.

He did get a talking to, maybe he’ll see reason tomorrow. He slept up his mates last night so I’m putting it down to tiredness and hunger. He’s a good kid which is why I was doubting myself.

That’s just teenagers though.

When my ds was about 13/14, he was going to spend the night at a friends house. Off he went that afternoon and dh and I thought we’d order a pizza while he was out ….

Come 10pm his friends mum text to say she was so sorry, she’d have to drop ds home as her son had started vomiting.

Ds saw the pizza boxes and acted like we were the most evil people on Earth for not saving him some …. we thought he’d be out all night 🤣 God, the drama!

Oh don’t be silly, I’ve been on here long enough and probably written a few responses like yours, with good intentions. Sometimes how they look in text can seem worse than their intent. He has had a few “spoiled” moments and I really don’t like them which is why I wanted to double check that I wasn’t being unreasonable in this instance.

I am definitely learning not to come between teenagers and food.

I'm more shocked that you managed to cook a full Sunday roast in this heat, than a teenage boy with an attitude problem over making some food 🥵

YANBU but it’s the teenage brain. I doubt he understands why he is being unreasonable! He probably smelt the food, presumed there would be food for him ( even though he said he didn’t want any ) thought they must know I’ve changed my mind and was upset to find you hadn’t left him any. Teenagers are wild plus also extremely contrary !

Our 13,14 and 16 will all make themselves food wether a ready meal or air fryer etc if there extra hungry....i would be in bed by then lol

YANBU. At 14 I'd say you should have him cook dinner for the whole family once or twice a week - in less than four years he'll be an adult, after all. Maybe he'll be off at uni and needing to feed himself; only fair he gets a few years to learn and practice. And the same with laundry, cleaning etc.

Not unreasonable. The little prince will have to get his own food. At 14, this is normal